Things you would NEVER want in your house:

[AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons]

I'll start.

A kitchen island.
A hall console table.
A corner sofa.
New rugs.

I am thinking of getting a plumbed-in Miele coffee machine.

A motorbike
A moose's head

floral paper feature wall

Carpet in the bathroom
Wood cladded kitchen ceiling
Avocado bathroom suite (or pink)
Cuckoo clock
Bidet

A bidet
Laminate flooring

Nigel Farage

Cross posted. Clearly I'm not the only bidet hater.

Whirlpool bath (only because I have heard they take a lot of cleaning)
Coffee pod machine (am saving up for a bean to cup)

Most kitchen gadgets such as large blender, things like cupcake makers and ice cream machines etc.

Slow cooker.

Cushions on the bed

Not so much inside but I'd hate ivy and climbing plants up the outside. And after many threads on here, decking.

Both because I don't want extra wildlife encouraged to be near my house.

The first item on the thread, kitchen island, well I really want one when we get our new house!

Wall mounted TV.
Non-White bathroom suite
Laminate floors

a minimalist kitchen.

Mould

actually anything minimalist TBH.

Rats

A huge canvas of the skyline of a city I've never been to.

One of those daft signs that says 'live, love, laugh' or some such bollocks. If I was ever given one I'd be so annoyed. I'd feel compelled to put it somewhere like the bin.

I have a table in the hall though. Where else do you put your keys, bag, crap, etc otherwise?

Cockroaches. Have had them in a previous house (abroad). Fumigate every spring as a preventative measure now.

I want all the ones in your OP! :-) Apart from a hall console table, but that's because I don't know what one is. If I knew I might want one.

For me:

Carpet in bathroom
Separate hot and cold taps
Artex
Sash windows

(still traumatised by state of first flat I ever bought...)

Carpets
Plug-in air fresheners
Floral wallpaper

Whirlpool bath (only because I have heard they take a lot of cleaning)
Oh yes. DD, then a tot, shat in one on holiday once when it was on. That took a while to, er, resolve.

Other than that:
wall mounted TV
bathroom suite that is not white
leather sofa (have an unreasoning loathing of them)
dainty French antique furniture (loathe that too, plus it would get broken)

We have a kitchen island, new rugs, a corner sofa, a whirlpool bath, cushions on the bed, laminate flooring, separate hot and cold taps, a skyline picture (but I have been there, I took the photo), sash windows and carpets.

We don't have Nigel Farage though so am I forgiven?

Remus

Insects. Or vermin.
Mould
Carpet in bathrooms/ loos/ kitchen
Chipped Formica
Wood chip wallpaper
Those old ceiling tiles or wood chip ceilings

I like bidets! Very useful:)

Spiders!

Corner bath
Rats or insects
Dogs