Things you would NEVER want in your house:

[AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons]

I'll start.

A kitchen island.
A hall console table.
A corner sofa.
New rugs.

I am thinking of getting a plumbed-in Miele coffee machine.

Vertical blinds
tv mounted on wall - even worse above a fireplace
Electric fire with fake glowing coal/wood.
Pretend fireplace stood against wall with no chimney behind it
Fitted bedroom furniture
Pine kitchen
Laminate floors
Wooden draining board at side of sink - yuck!
Bathroom carpet
Artex or textured walks or ceilings
Feature flowered wall papered wall or chimney breast
1970s stone feature fireplace with surfaces for displaying ornaments
Ornaments
Plug in air freshners
Net curtains
Leather furniture

Having contributed to this thread I must also add that I see loads of things in other people's houses that I'd hate to have in my own, but they're actually very nice in the other person's house.

An en-suite loo
An electric hob
laminate floors
Wooden stairs
Wallpaper
Wood burner (which is a shame, because I've got one )

I'd love

My list is getting longer as so many of you have reminded me of what I hate . . .

especially gas. I really hate gas.

And underfloor heating.

A dog. Now, I think dogs are great fun but I know a couple of folk with dogs who trot about the house with visible bits of poo on their bum fur and it puts me right off.

Anything with a Union Jack.

A shower curtain.

Anything that says FAMILY on it.

Photo canvases.

We've got a kind of rough texture granite worktop (it was there when we moved in) and though it looks quite nice it's a pain in the arse as flour/dough/everything gets stuck in the dents and takes forever to get out.

Woodchip wallpaper = the devil's own work.
Artex = ditto.
Politicians canvassing.

Those signs which say 'love' or 'home' on the wall
Kitchenware with its purpose written on it, i.e. 'chop', 'coffee'
Artex
Shabby chic
Pot pourri
Fake flowers
Nets
Carriage clocks
Corner bath

DH has a candle which Mil bought when be moved into his first flat. It's huge and brown and ugly and I have been desperate to light it but he won't let me. :(

Things I like

sash windows or old casement windows
Original fireplaces
Georgian/ victorian window shutters
Gas hob
Wooden floors
White bathroom suites
Modest sized tv
No clutter
Plain walls
Rugs
Plain carpets in bedrooms
Stripped stair treads, varnished with plain white. risers.
Old round brass doorbells
Garden with trees
Floor length curtains

DH asked me if it would be ok to get plastic plants as we wouldn't have to take care of them.

I was like bitch get the fuck out.

Lots of things already mentioned and:

Fur throws
fleas
silverfish
house plants
abuse
nets
anything that comes from a taxidermist

Office blinds
Dogs or any pet
Dark mahogany kitchen/wardrobes
Storage heaters
Artex
Stippled celings
Navy bathroom suite
Laminate

A fancy arch between two halves of knocked through room
A smoked glass table
Anything smoked glass
Cat litter tray (esp in the kitchen, FFS)
Ditto dog bed
Pelmets
Bed valances or any bed that would seem to need them
Most of the sofas in DFS and especially wrinkly cream leather with varnished wood arms
A crucifix on the wall, with lifelike crucified figure
Zulu spear, bad African carvings, Thai and Buddhist nick knacks, dream catcher
Wind chimes
Water feature
Fake fire (real gas, fake coals)
Popcorn maker and most of the Lakeland gadget list
Massive light up tropical fish tank esp with ornaments and coloured gravel
A 'breakfast bar' esp with naff stools

A bidet
Carpet in the bathroom
Metal spiral staircase

Mexican pine furniture

those wine racks that are built into the kitchen units - dust collectors

fake greenery - they turn blue! popular around here.

yellow paint or red paint

but my pet hate is people who keep their outdoor Christmas décor such as fibre optic reindeer on their wall all year... ughhh

Put you hand up if you already have something a pp hates in your house

It's funny how you all hate wall mounted TV's... It's a must for our TV in the house we are building at the moment. Although to be fair that has quite a bit to do with it then not being able to fall over and hurt DC in an earthquake (the reason we are having to rebuild our house in the first place). So we are going to be tacky I'm afraid.
I would hate to have:
Single glazed windows
Weatherboards (just think of the endless painting)
Live, love, dream and all associated type inspirational c**p.
Low ceilings
Artex
Fake fur throws
Feature walls of big patterned wallpaper
Twigs

Bed bugs
Generic pictures on the walls that mean nothing to the inhabitants

I'd like to add:

Family manifesto: Live, love, laugh and take your turn to unload the dishwasher.

Any sort of instructions in the karzis/bathrooms. Especially "BATH" and/or "be a sweetie and wipe the seatie."

Home gyms.

Carousel corner cupboards in kitchens.

Those "inspirational" quotes written on the wall in big writing.

Oh yes, definitely I would hate a breakfast bar and stools, fake fur or real fur anything, fish tanks, crucifixes, anything orange or yellow, smoked glass anything, dreamcatchers, little shelf units.

What's wrong with gas?!? What method of cooking do you prefer?

I would never have those boring chocolate brown leather dining chairs that are so ubiquitous.

Ha ha I have a huge island, a wall mounted tv, a floral feature wall in my family room, a corner leather sofa (to be fair I don't really like it) and a new rug-it's cream if that makes it worse.

I also have a built in Miele coffee machine that I can't use

And dp would be mine because he's being an arse.

Ooh ooh and I've got the brown leather dining chairs too

Someone upthread mentioned smoked glass.
How could I have forgotten smoked glass?

open plan NO.

kitchen islands NO

laminated flooring NO

decking NO

rotating life size effigy of Iain Duncan Smith holding a talking clam NO.