Things you would NEVER want in your house:

[AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons]

I'll start.

A kitchen island.
A hall console table.
A corner sofa.
New rugs.

I am thinking of getting a plumbed-in Miele coffee machine.

Laminate flooring
tiles (floor and wall)
kitchen island
wall mounted tv
monoblock paving
open plan downstairs
stairs in the living room

skimpy curtains

L-shaped sofa
Microwave
Chaise Lounge
Landline phone

I was going to say rats, but used to keep pet rats and they are brilliant.

Any house without Nigel Farage or David Cameron in is fine by me.

I also wouldn't want:
carpet in the bathroom
everything all matchy
a Keep Calm and Carry On poster

And if it was up to me, there'd be no television.

trinkets or anything that spells something like home or family

i really want a carpet in the bathroom though and have always wanted carpeted walls but put that down from working in an ad agency in the 80 when that was the height of cool

Fabric broken sofa
childrens bikes
wardrobe dominating the bedroom
old green tiles circa early 90s in the bathroom
cat litter tray

Unfortunately I appear to have all of these. Such is life...

A stone built feature fireplace. Our first four houses had them (we live in Yorkshire), and we ripped out the one in our last house. When we viewed our current house I was delighted to see an understated Adam fireplace instead of a stone monstrosity.

A games room - wouldn't get used
A bar - naff

Anything that only looks nice immaculate.
I love pictures up but I'm not big on professional pics, I love peoples snapshots in print.

Carpets in the bathroom/kitchen
Those bath/love crap signs
Pink bathtub/tiles/floor tiles
Mice

And that bloody wallpaper that looked like someone had glued rice to it

Just about to move and I cannot abide Agas or parquet. I am being hardline about those because they seem to bump the price up and I'll just rip them out. Don't mind coloured bathroom suites as it seems perfectly justified to get rid of them .

I want a soulless shell so can't stand 'features' or fireplaces or cornices.

Wall mounted TV
Bathroom carpet
Coloured bathroom suite

Anything alive that I haven't invited, textured wallpaper or textured ceilings.

A a living room you have to walk through to her to the kitchen.

Stairs that go off the living room.

Net curtains.

Laminate

Gas hob (I realise I'm in the minority)

Fridge freezers with the fridge at the bottom

Artex

Woodchip

Bath with no shower attached

Storage heaters

Single glazing

Lights that aren't dimmers

Low (not eye level) ovens

Slow cookers

A skyline photo of somewhere that you've actually visited or have some connection to is a whole other thing.

It's the huge New York/London/Paris/Sydney (delete as appropriate) pictures on the wall of someone who has never been there that I find a bit

Tiled kitchen work surface...AAAARGH!

"Gas hob (I realise I'm in the minority)"

What is wrong with you? Don't you cook?

Agree about storage heaters. Dreadful things.

Leaving aside the obvious (rats, mould, moth, woodworm - all of which we have had at different times), mine is a lack of walls. Moved from all-open-plan-looked-fab to boring traditional 3 bed semi and it is sooo much better, I only have to tidy one little room before guests come round for a start

Also don't want (through experience) a round house, breathable lime plaster, walls with texture, little niches set in the wall etc etc etc. These days I like nice flat square boring houses with boring flat smooth walls that meet each other and the floor at right angles and don't gather dust . . .

That vile Big Flower wallpaper. It looks really dated.
Wall-mounted tv.
Grey painted interior walls
Decking
Giant fishtank

I really miss having a dog in my house.

I have oak laminate through most of my house - shoot me now!

I don't want any of the following:

Wallpaper of any kind - especially with a big pattern
Leather furniture - cats would scratch it to shreds
Black granite work tops in the kitchen
Wrought iron headboards for beds
Anything football themed
Any motivational posters or slogans esp.Keep Calm
Anything with a Union Jack on it
Cream carpets - would have to walk on my hands

Narrow hallway
No windows on the sides of the house
Inspirational letters on the wall
Aga
Slate floor
Artex
Shabby chic furniture
Bifold doors
High gloss kitchen
Basement conversion
Swimming pool
Fake grass

Good thing we're all different eh?

Those stupid 3D words "Love, Family, Bath, Eat" etc.

Pictures that are accessories rather than art.

Fish.

Birds.

Breakfast bar.

Wicker furniture.

Rodents or other vermin
Damp
Mould
Windowless rooms
Long dark kitchen/living room
Room sizes based on the size of prison cells
Single aspect windows
No central heating
Thin walls with no sound insulation
PVC windows
Ensuite bathrooms
Polished pine furnishings
Twiggy shit
Built in wardrobes
"Upcyled" furniture

Kitchen island
Carpeted bathroom
Beams on ceilings
Aga
Range cooker
Shaker style kitchen
Dado rails
Kitchen at the front of the house
Single glazed original sash windows
Low ceilings
Small windows that make the house seem dark

Things I definitely want in a house

Drive
Porch
Downstairs loo
Kitchen that looks out into the garden
Double glazing - modern and efficient
Big windows so house if full of light
Eye level oven
Modern high tech kitchen
Bath