Totally's Grads Part Deux - Let's handhold through pregnancy after MC

[LeeWT]

So many threads by so many names but this thread is a place to come after TTC after MC..

Deposit your worries in the box by the door and grab a cuppa! :-)

Hello Ladies!

Sorry I haven't been on in a week - just had an absolutely crazy week including lots of cousins visiting us for 4 days, a chicken pox scare (turns out I'm immune which is great) and work has just been absolutely manic. I'm back though with a vengance on MN now!

Hope you are all well. Delighted with all the newbies arriving - huge big hello to you all and welcome! This thread is fantastic and the ladies are all wonderful.

No real news with me here, bump is growing which is great . I think this will be the last week of me being able to wear normal work shirts but that's a good thing. Still a bit disappointed with the 16 week appt that they didn't try and listen to the heartbeat but not long to go now until the 20 week scan. We have 10 days off before hand too which is great.

Well hope you are all well Ladies and I promise to catch up and namecheck etc later

BUnder - I had a scan at 6+4 this week and the nurse at the EPAU said that the stats only come into play at 12 weeks. I'm chosing not to believe that and to take all the reassurance I can get.

I've had my appointment for my second scan through today, it's for in four weeks time, which by my dates will make me 10+6.

Hi BUnder!! Hope you will be joining us full time soon. I live by statistics, I do.

Clare - that's so pants!! Hope it clears up soon?

I read that if the heartbeat is over 140 bpm you are having a girl and below 140 bpm a boy. So that would mean I'm having a girl. But it sounded like a train not galloping horses so a boy. DH did a few more tests on me - when asked to show him my hands, I presented them palms upwards, which means a girl. So, we have 2x signs it's a girl, and 1x sign it's a boy.

Obviously, easiest thing would be to wait for 20 week scan and see if we can find out, but DH has said he'd rather it was a surprise, so we'll be dangling wedding rings over my belly/examining the tea leaves/seeing if the bump is low or high* for some time to come.

Sorry not to namecheck properly, but hope everyone is doing ok. Symptoms/lack of symptoms are both scary and at the same time a sign of normal pregnancy

xx

• Of course, I don't really believe in this stuff.....

So... all is forgiven. Midwife was only 10 minutes late, very apologetic, really nice and best of all, found the heartbeat, which I wasn't expecting at all. So now I can go to Saturday's scan feeling slightly less terrified.

BUnder I had a private scan, couldn't have managed without it, and she said a good time was around 8 weeks. Mine was 8+3, and it was lovely. There's a bit more there to see, and it only (only!?) leaves 4-5 weeks until the next scan. I'd still have one every other week if I could!

Hello everyone else too!

Thanks lotta and everyone else! I might manage to hold on to 9 weeks....

Has anyone used Babybond? I'll be going to the Maidstone one if we use them.

Hey BUnderWoman! lovely to 'see you'. I had my private scan at Apeekaboo (yes really) in Thamesmead when I was 9+6, the whole experience was brilliant and frankly the scan image is so clearer than the NHS one I had at 12 weeks. I think Alba's scan was a little earlier than mine so 8+ weeks? I was trying to hold out for the 12 week one, but once I got passed my previous fail date, I just wanted to know there was something there. Totally recommend it for reassurance, though you will be wanting one every week!

Who's next on the ultrasonic list btw - Muse? Is it Monday? Am sure it can't come round soon enough. Shall we thwack you with the kipper to knock you out till then?

Big howdedoody wave to Happy

Congrats for da baby-badaboom-beat for Toomt

Btw - how are you Alba? Not seen you about or have I just blinked at the wrong time? Hope all's sunny for you.

Sorry, work's busy, DS hasn't been sleeping too well and I'm pretty exhausted, have been reading but not replying...

BUnder, since it sounds like you must be in Kent, I had my scans at Kent Medical Imaging, they're in Kings Hill (West Malling), near Maidstone. They're absolutely lovely and a fraction of the price of everyone else. The early scan was £50, and the nuchal scan was only £100 because I'd had one already -- and for that I got two scans! (they check all ok at 10 weeks when they take the bloods, then when you go back for the full 12 week scan they have the blood results already so can give you risk there and then). Didn't seem to be the absolute latest state of the art kit, eg no separate screen that's easier for you to see, but you can see well enough on the same screen as the sonographer, and for me was more important that they were so incredibly kind and lovely and explained everything.

Sorry, that's my limit for namechecks, but thought my info might be useful there for BUnder -- best of luck!

Have to go, DS has finally fallen asleep (I'm sitting on the end of his bed with the laptop) so I have to go back to my pc and log on to finish my work... no rest for the wicked... the curse of remote access, it's great to be able to work from home, but it means you can never really leave it behind.

Oh, and as Gilda says, I had my first scan at 8+3, then 10+2, then 12+4 -- was fab having fortnightly scans, thoroughly recommend it.

Long old wait now till the end of August for the next one!

Hello to you too Unbuffy, Gi1da, LadyB - its lovely to see so many of you here. Waves to Alba and Happy too. Thanks to toomuch for the welcome and advice.

Gi1da I missed your funny posts - loving the name for the post MC neurosis! Great news about your kicks Unbuffy, that's such an exciting time! No comment on your afflication Clare!

BU I just said on the other thread that I went to the doc today. She called the EPU and got me booked in for a scan just over 7 weeks, without me even asking. Can your doc not do that? Or would you rather go private? The quality is superb in comparison. Gi1da yes, Muser's scan is Monday and I think she may enjoy a good kipper thwacking.

So I'm heading back to the other thread and if all goes well in just under 3 weeks I'll take the plunge and join you properly x Hope you are all very well

Hi All

Just back from being away with work and not got time to name check as sooo tired again! Thanks for all your good wishes! I feel so different now (like I was waiting to get too attached) and can totally see how you fall in love with them once you see them! I keep sneaking a peak at the pics !

On a practical note, I have hardly put on any weight (was 67.7kg and am now 67.9kg), but the last two days I really look pg (I wasn't washboard flat around the middle or on the tummy to start with though!) - it's quite noticeable. The scan people said the bean is behind the pelvis and doesn't move to the belly button until 20 weeks ish so why do I look so big? Is it things moving about? Also, sorry TMI alert, I have a pile that is about the size of a 10p piece and it's agony - any remedies, please?.....

Thanks for the tip Alba - I'll look into that.

Sorry WYG I don't have any advice - but if you're in contact with a MW already, could you phone and just check what's safe? There must be creams or whathaveyou.

Oh god I'm in need of some handholding. I have a scan tomorrow, I'm just over 7 weeks, and I'm willing them to be able to see a good heartbeat. I know I'm wouldn't be out of the woods but if we could get that...please please please. I don't think I could take them saying wait another 2 weeks. They should be able to see one now right? oh aaaarrrgggghhhhh.

DH is coming with me. We'll go up straight after dropping DS at his CM so hopefully reduce the wait a bit. I can't stop thinking about the last one. What if it happens again?

Hand holding for LadyBee - waiting for a scan is so, so scary, but the chances are all will be well, much higher chance of successful pregnancy than miscarriage, I kept reminding myself of that.

Will be thinking of you in the morning, the relief when you see that little heartbeat will be immense.

RedHeadGal, thinking of you too, happy good scan vibes for another lovely low risk nuchal scan tomorrow.

And just in case I don't get on tomorrow, same for you Toomuchteaching for yours on Saturday.

Ladybee - thinking of you today. It is so horrible waiting for scans. Everything is crossed for you.

Phew!

What a morning! Got to the ultrasound department and popped to the loo. Wiped and found blood, a lot of it, much more than when I mc. Cue major panic and melt down in the toilets. We had to go into the 'little pink room' again, cue more panicking.

Thankfully we didn't have to wait too long. Found baby straightaway and all is well. Normal heart beat. Bean was sucking its thumb and bouncing around. They couldn't find any bleeding from the pregnancy so that's good news and they were very reassuring.

The bleeding has stopped now. But I can't believe the timing. Right on cue. I started bleeding (very lightly) the night before my 12 week scan last time when we discovered the mmc and the idea of it happening all over again....

Nuchal fold is 'normal' apparently. TBH the scan felt pretty cursory. I'm sure she did it well and she didn't miss anything, but she wasn't great at communicating what she was doing.

LadyB - thinking of you hon.

Oh and they readjusted my dates slightly - turns out I'm 13+1 not 12+5. So baby is due on 6th January. Brilliant. I'm tempted to start calling bean 'Balthazar'...

FRIDAY'S LIST

Meita - baby#1 - (not telling) - 33+3 wks, due 17th August
Boodleboot - baby#3 - 1DD {10} 1DS {5} - 29+2 wks - due 12th Sept - next scan 2nd July
TFLS - baby#1 - 28+2 wks, due 23 Sept
LeeWT - baby#2 (DD1 2yrs) 27+3 wks, due 30th Sept
Louisesh - baby#1, 27 wks, due 1st Oct
Effilump - baby#5 (ds 22,15,16mnths. dd13) 24+3 wks EDD 18th Oct
SamanthaB123 baby#3(2x DD's 11 & 9 yrs) 24+2 wks, EDD 20th October
Sarahlou8 - baby#3 (DD 11, DS 9) 24 wks, EDD 22nd October
DomesticGOddess - baby#? 23+6 wks, EDD 22nd October
emmielou81 - baby#5 (DS 6, DD 3) - 23+1 wks, EDD 28th October
BestLaidPlans - baby#1, 20 +2 wks EDD 14th November
Unbuffy - baby#2 (DD 17 months) - 18+6 wks EDD 27th November, scan 13th July
HappyGirl - baby#1, 17 +2 weeks, EDD 8th December
Zayja - baby#1 - 16+6 wks, EDD 11th December
Goodluckbear - baby#1, 15+6 wks, EDD 18th December
Malteser1981 - baby#1, 15+6 wks, EDD 18th December
Gilda - baby#1 - 14+6 wks, due 25th December,
BunnyBaby - baby#3 - 14+6 wks, EDD 25th December
LucyT66 - baby#1 14+3 wks EDD 26th December
sparklyrainbow- Baby#1 14+2 weeks EDD 30th December
AlbaDeTamble - baby#2 (DS 2) - 13+3 wks EDD 3rd January
Redheadgal - baby#1 13+1 wks EDD 6th January 2011 - next scan 20 August
toomuchteaching - baby#1 12+6 wks EDD 8th January nuchal scan 3rd July
diggingforvictory - baby#4 (DS 1) 11+6 wks EDD 15th January, nuchal scan 5th July
Marrow - baby #6 (DD 4) 10+3 weeks EDD January 25th
WestYorkshireGirl - baby#1, 11+3 weeks EDD January 18th
Culina - baby #3, one DS, 10+2 weeks EDD 21 January 2011
Clareanna - baby#2, 1DS 8+1 weeks EDD 11th Feb 2011
LadyBee - baby#2, 1DS 7+2 weeks EDD 16th Feb 2011
LilRedWG - baby#2, 1DD, 7 weeks EDD 19th Feb

We share the pain and mourn the loss with:
Jollster - one DC, two babies lost, recent MMC w9/@11, 26th Feb
Cheepz - one DS, recent MMC w9, 26th March
Freezing - one DD, recent MC w11, 28th March
BarrenBrook - third and most recent MMC 12th May
MsJL - 4th and most recent MC determined 8th June

MIA
JodieO - baby#4 (DD 8, DS1 6, DS2 3), EDD 25th December
MrsRigby - baby#2 (DS 15 months), EDD 14th October

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:
Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010
Jacanne (due 29th April/6 May) awaiting news
Becky78 with son Thomas Christopher born 22nd May - 9lb 1oz

So. Some relief. And a bit more worry thrown in.

We saw a heartbeat. That's good news right? But the CRL was only 6.1mm and that's dating me a week smaller. Which I'm now worried about, given the whole lack of symptoms thing. They've put me down as 6+2 weeks - going to look again at when I tested and so on to see whether that's actually possible. So far no other signs that anything is wrong but I don't feel joy and relief.

Need to conjure up some positive mental attitude I think. And a large icecream cone.

Congrats redheadgal, and ladybee. Healthy heartbeat is a big positive, and dates can frequently be up to a week off,can understand though why it's a worry. Can you get another scan in a week or two to check your little one's growing at the right rate to set your mind at rest?

I seem to have lost a day so reposting list.

Summoning up energy for Friday afternoon, tired and back to feeling sick, weekend can't come soon enough........

FRIDAY'S LIST

Meita - baby#1 - (not telling) - 33+3 wks, due 17th August
Boodleboot - baby#3 - 1DD {10} 1DS {5} - 29+2 wks - due 12th Sept - next scan 2nd July
TFLS - baby#1 - 28+2 wks, due 23 Sept
LeeWT - baby#2 (DD1 2yrs) 27+3 wks, due 30th Sept
Louisesh - baby#1, 27 wks, due 1st Oct
Effilump - baby#5 (ds 22,15,16mnths. dd13) 24+3 wks EDD 18th Oct
SamanthaB123 baby#3(2x DD's 11 & 9 yrs) 24+2 wks, EDD 20th October
Sarahlou8 - baby#3 (DD 11, DS 9) 24 wks, EDD 22nd October
DomesticGOddess - baby#? 23+6 wks, EDD 22nd October
emmielou81 - baby#5 (DS 6, DD 3) - 23+1 wks, EDD 28th October
BestLaidPlans - baby#1, 20 +2 wks EDD 14th November
Unbuffy - baby#2 (DD 17 months) - 18+6 wks EDD 27th November, scan 13th July
HappyGirl - baby#1, 17 +2 weeks, EDD 8th December
Zayja - baby#1 - 16+6 wks, EDD 11th December
Goodluckbear - baby#1, 15+6 wks, EDD 18th December
Malteser1981 - baby#1, 15+6 wks, EDD 18th December
Gilda - baby#1 - 14+6 wks, due 25th December,
BunnyBaby - baby#3 - 14+6 wks, EDD 25th December
LucyT66 - baby#1 14+3 wks EDD 26th December
sparklyrainbow- Baby#1 14+2 weeks EDD 30th December
AlbaDeTamble - baby#2 (DS 2) - 13+4 wks EDD 3rd January
Redheadgal - baby#1 13+1 wks EDD 6th January 2011 - next scan 20 August
toomuchteaching - baby#1 12+6 wks EDD 8th January nuchal scan 3rd July
diggingforvictory - baby#4 (DS 1) 11+6 wks EDD 15th January, nuchal scan 5th July
Marrow - baby #6 (DD 4) 10+3 weeks EDD January 25th
WestYorkshireGirl - baby#1, 11+3 weeks EDD January 18th
Culina - baby #3, one DS, 10+2 weeks EDD 21 January 2011
Clareanna - baby#2, 1DS 8+1 weeks EDD 11th Feb 2011
LadyBee - baby#2, 1DS 7+2 weeks EDD 16th Feb 2011
LilRedWG - baby#2, 1DD, 7 weeks EDD 19th Feb

We share the pain and mourn the loss with:
Jollster - one DC, two babies lost, recent MMC w9/@11, 26th Feb
Cheepz - one DS, recent MMC w9, 26th March
Freezing - one DD, recent MC w11, 28th March
BarrenBrook - third and most recent MMC 12th May
MsJL - 4th and most recent MC determined 8th June

MIA
JodieO - baby#4 (DD 8, DS1 6, DS2 3), EDD 25th December
MrsRigby - baby#2 (DS 15 months), EDD 14th October

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:
Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010
Jacanne (due 29th April/6 May) awaiting news
Becky78 with son Thomas Christopher born 22nd May - 9lb 1oz

Oh Redheadgal, poor you, that sounds like a right rollercoaster! Good thing it ended on the "up" though. Same to you, LadyBee, why does the reassurance always have to be so mixed up with worries? Pregnancy after MC is definitely no walk in the park! But, whoohoo to two new positive scans!

I had a really odd dream last night. In it, I was at my NCT class, and in the break I went to the loo to secretly smoke a cigarette (I've never smoked in my life!) Then all of a sudden I started bleeding, strongly. Chucked the fag in the toilet and called for help, was bleeding so badly that they called an ambulance. Then I woke up.
I know you're never "safe", but at 33 weeks I think I might stop worrying about MC? Or what WAS this dream about?

Saw MW today. It seems the NHS "parent education" sessions I'm booked in for - 3 evenings - have been scrapped, and replaced by a four-hour "weekend" course. So had to ring them up, to book a place on a new course, just to be told that the new courses don't start until 7th August. Me being officially due on the 14th (although I believe my own dates more) that doesn't leave a lot of time... I guess I just need to hope the baby doesn't decide to arrive early!
Still, am a bit annoyed at this. The hospital I'm booked for, St. Peter's in Chertsey, doesn't do tours. There's a video instead, and in the video they say "if you have any questions, ask your midwife". So I went to MW today armed with a list of questions. MW was very kind and patient, but she did say that really I should be asking those questions at the "parent education" sessions. And those won't start until a week before I'm due. Feeling a bit pushed around and not getting my questions answered!

Sorry for this little rant - sometimes I just get a bit annoyed at the whole system. Doesn't help that I'm always soooooo tired these days.

Redheadgal - gosh when i started to read your message my heart dropped for you - I'm just so so so so so glad for you that it worked out well but can only imagine the stress and worry. how great that you saw your baby in there and all is well. So happy for you.

Ladybee I've been exactly there.. had a scan at about 8+4, they did the scan saw a healthy heart beat but measured me 7+2. I was beyond worried and stressed but then at the 12 week scan they measured me 13 so we got the week back.. thing is the bean is all curled up at that stage and if they are out by even a milimetre then they can be out by a week.. try not to worry - the main thing is that they saw the heartbeat .

No news in happy world - just trying to be patient for the 20 week scan - trying really really hard. Starting wonder if some of the bubbles i'm feeling could possibly be movements but i know they are probably just hunger pains!

HappyGirl that's is tremendously reassuring thanks so much. I'm starting to come round to the idea that it's not as much as a disaster as my first reaction was. Or rather, am allowing myself to recognise that a heartbeat is a Good Thing and that there are lots of reasons why I could have measured small, not least the positioning of the bean (or lentil?).

Redheadgal I was wrapped up in a great big ME blanket when I read your post. Man alive that must have been horrendous - especially as it had such strong echoes of your earlier scan. Glad the they couldn't see any reason for the bleed this time, and fingers crossed that's the last time you experience any upsets. It's a pity you felt the scan was a bit cursory - they do spend a lot longer at the 20 week anomaly scan, and hopefully you'll get someone more communicative this time.

oof meita that's not a nice dream, but I think it's just an expression of underlying worry. At 33 weeks you've actually just past the point where lung development shouldn't be too bad if you did have an early baby - so all you need to do now is keep an eye on movements and you're on the home straight . Are your questions specific to the hospital you're booked in to? Such a pain to have those classes later. Is it too late to find a more convenient NCT course - I know they get booked up early but maybe there would be late cancellation. OR, would you consider private sessions with a local independent midwife or doula? Lots of them offer antenatal education and if they're familiar with your hospital they might be able to answer specific queries.

Not sure what to do about the list. Shall I move back to 6+2 (argh, as if it doesn't go slowly enough), or wait. I'm mulling over paying for a private scan - maybe I'll leave myself where I am for now.

Oh, after the scan we went to check out a nursery for DS. He already goes there a bit for playgroups with his CM, but it's a bit further away - there are at least three that are closer but not all take under-3s. It was amazing! They had such a range of activity areas, lovely comfy, warm, slightly chaotic and shabby atmosphere but in a very 'homely' way. All the workers looked mature and sensible. Just have a great vibe from it. Obviously, it's oversubscribed so no idea whether any spaces will come free but it was very reassuring at least.

ooh ooh, forgot to say HappyGirl, yes I bet those bubbles are movements. I felt DS at 17 weeks, just tiny little flutters, and it just got more recognisable as the days went by.

Time for a new thread... Do we need to link the name to the other thread so we're easier for the girls there to find? Maybe 'Pregnancy post-MC, bring your cake but no more wine or tightie whities - Totally's Grads continued'?

Only trouble is, I don't know how to start a new thread....

Redheadgal - big PHEW for you!

Ladybee - when I had my scan last week the sonographer said they can't date accurately at all at six weeks and that baby was measuring 7mm at that particular moment but was very tricky to measure. I know it is hard but try to focus on the little heartbeat.

Hi guys I'm back... are you still on this thread or is there a new one?

Well... I need a massive update :D