Facebook status updates you wish you could write. XXXX...

[Tigresswoods]

Following the success of this thread in "Conception" I thought I would share its cathartic qualities here in "Pregnancy" too.

I'll give you a starter for ten:

Tigress has no symptoms at 6 weeks except for exceptionally sore nipples

See, you can't write THAT on Facebook!

comeonbishbosh is fed up of everyone commenting that her bump is 'quite small' and hardly thinks she is cheating or getting off lightly at this pregnancy malarkey.

Flowerbee is fed up of being so knackered all the freakin time - and is sure her cats are spiking her Ribena

MamaLazarou misses sex . The inclination is there, but the ability is gone.

GracieGirl's baby's head is 3/5ths engaged!!!

GracieGirl is amused by DH and my Mum panicking that baby is on its way, and remains surprisingly calm. Or maybe head is in the sand??? I'm only 36 weeks, surely I've got ages. Though head has been engaged for 2 weeks already.

GracieGirl should probably pack that hospital bag though, else if baby does make an early appearence it will look very fashionable wearing hospital towels and god only knows what random outfit DH will bring in for me to go home in!!!!

GracieGirl is convinced her baby is trying to escape out of her belly button!

lola does NOT want to go back to work in the morning. lola would like to enjoy being pg and wonders when this will come. lolaprobably wont be able to sleep either and wonders why she did not getgetget a nice quiet job where she did not need to talk to ppl. Because some days i do not want to make pleasant convo. Rant over. This thread is fab

boodleboot really hopes that her little boodlebean is growing in her womb and NOT her only remaining tube.....

Never take anything for granted as one day your life is like the next woman and the next your worst nightmare.

Tigress thinks she must have been brainwashed by her NCT classes as she for some reason believes there will be no pain at childbirth and doesn't see the point in all the pain relieving drugs. La la la la la la...

Pigleychez...Wishes her family gave a shit about her, her baby, her toddler and DH!!!

Sorry for that little rant! Feel maginally better now

GracieGirl hopes little BoodleBean is behaving too.

GracieGirl is hoping Tigress is right about there being no pain in childbirth.

GracieGirl would have been on Mumsnet earlier but felt a sudden need to clean and has just spent 2 hours cleaning every tile and fixture in the bathroom with a toothbrush!!! I have gone mad!!

JamieJay wishes a well meaning family friend would stop hassling DH/FIL if I am pregnant every time she sees them - if we're not saying anything then we don't want people to know yet!

hoops has just managed to poo by herself after 2 months of v painful consipation, woo hoo

hoops also hopes that boodlebean is in the right place

Squirtsmum doesn't have the joys of a sit down job so will be on mat leave by 36 wks even if MIL thinks Squirtsmum is just being lazy!!

or

Squirtsmum wants to know why ppl don't tell you about the burping/farting/crying/excess hair till after your pregnant

or

Squirtsmum is really horny, even after fun this morning, and is now contemplating a Dr Hilary Jones, Philip Schofield and Dara O'Briain sandwich...hmmmmmm moist

Love this thread

xxxx

Well after just having to get out of bed at midnight to be sick for the umpteenth time today (and constantly every day for the last 5 weeks)I wish I could write;

CazEM is sick of feeling sick and has completely forgotten what it is like to feel normal!

onlygirl was supposed to be going to the drs to be put on the pill but instead got a BFP!!

Glasto really doesn't appreciate everyone telling her the baby will be LARGE just because DH is 6ft 2 and of a large build.

Glasto wants to know why no one warned her pregnancy would give me a hairy belly

Glasto is still getting morning sickness at 21 weeks, and is apparently having a boy. What's all that about then?

Glasto is secretly sad after being told PFB is a boy.

Tigress can't get the idea of pancakes out of her mind

Gracie thinks her 37 weeks bump has 6 elbows - its all pointy!

Tigress can no longer see her lady garden

I have the same problem glasto- whispers... hairy tummy. Im going to bleach it! allthatjazz cant believe her mat leave is so far away so is her next scan.

KarrierBag has just been sick through her nose and it's burning

KarrierBag is fed up of being pregnant and is hoping the next few weeks go by quickly!

bloomingbex has just found out she is 4 weeks pg!! Slightly concerned that my work trousers are already straining at the seams....

"After 10 weeks of throwing up, yes, I HAVE TRIED GINGER. SEVERAL TIMES."

Tigress had a tearful day yesterday but is having an elated day today. Hormones are weird and wonderful things!?