Feb 2024 thread 4

[Mummapenguin20]

Thought I’d start new one as old one was full and couldn’t see the next one x

I feel bubbling every so often not a pattern yet I’m 15 weeks but this is my 4th baby x

Baby #1 and I’ve been feeling really subtle sensations so I couldn’t be at all sure if I was feeling baby but last night I’m almost definite that I did!! 😍😍 it felt like somebody blowing bubbles in my belly! Went on for ages!! So amazing!!!

Anyone with first baby having any issues with their OH? Mine is being a nightmare, staying late drinking every night after work (in a restaurant), we had an argument about it last week and he was going to change it this week but he hasn’t and it ended up in a huge argument last night - he stayed up all night, got drunk and then completely flipped out at me at 6am this morning! He was horrible, saying really nasty things. All I could think of was the baby, I won’t put my child through that. I just don’t know who he was 😞

@Kelb79 sorry to hear you're having this stress, it's really not fair on you. Did he ever act this way before your pregnancy, or do you think the pregnancy has triggered it (maybe stress, money worries, or just feeling a bit out of his depth?). It definitely sounds like you need to try talking to him again and explaining what your concerns are, and how it makes you feel. Ultimately he's got to buck up his act, for you and for the baby.

Been prescribed another dose of antibiotics for a UTI, detected in my urine sample given at midwife appointment. Bit worrying cos like my last 1 found at booking appointment I didn't even know cos no symptoms.

Anyone else seem to have had them often with this pregnancy or past?

@Sunshineclouds11 deff movements here too, I’ve had little flutters for a few weeks, thought I was nearly imagining it but it’s too often now I think it must be movement. It’s mainly at night in bed when it’s quiet/still.

on telling work I’d deff just go for it and tell them, it gives them more time to find a replacement. I told my boss at 12 weeks, he was so delighted, it’s such lovely news to share so I wouldn’t worry about telling them❤️

@Kelb79 I’m so sorry you are going through this, it’s so stressful. id wait until he’s sober and have a conversation explaining how distressing it is for you. Explain if you were out constantly drinking all night and he was at home waiting/ not knowing when u were coming home that he wouldn’t be happy either. I’m hoping he sees how wrong this is and changes because it’s deff not the type of support/ lack of support u need at the min x

@CheeseAndCrackersx in my last pregnancy I had a water infection and was on antibiotics from the day I found out I was pregnant to the day I gave birth xx

@Kelb79 so sorry you are going through this right now. You need not extra stress.

how was he before pregnancy? Any signs of this behaviour? Or pregnancy a trigger?

I'd set your expectations with him when he's sober as he needs to get it together !

Exciting to read about movements starting for lots of us. I'm 16 weeks now and today I felt tiny movement sensations for the first time, wasn't expecting them yet. Second baby. I had a wristband from kicks count when pregnant with my daughter- I think I'll order another one (can't find the old one anywhere).
Very excited about our scan on Monday morning, we'll hopefully find out the sex. I'm convinced it's a boy but will be happy either way. I confess I'd always wanted a daughter but have her already so this time I don't have a sneaky hope one way or the other, just impatient to know.

@Kelb79 so sorry to read your update about your oh, that sounds very stressful. I hope when he's sober in the cold light of day you're able to have a conversation about why he's doing this and how it's making you feel.

first time pregnancy, so a little clueless but I applied for a maternity exemption card via form in the post and haven’t heard anything back it’s almost 2 weeks. I sent my midwife a message but haven’t heard from her either. Does anyone know who I can contact re this?

@Clueless13 that's really bad, you should have been given one ages ago. Maybe it's not the same in every area but my midwife did it at the booking in appointment and it arrived via email instantly there and then - I'm in a badger notes area though so everything is digital. Have you had your 16w appointment yet? If not insist they sort it out for you while you're there.

That’s frustrating! I had my 16w appointment last Friday, I did mention that it had been posted and midwife said to wait for it and if it didn’t come get in touch with her, but she’s not replied! I’ll ring next week to see if she can do it online. Thanks! :)

How is everyone getting on in this heat? 🥵 has anyone else had a bad stomach I was panicking last night because I was in so much pain 😩

What kind of pain?

I was doubled over in pain last week, it was like a muscle pain, every little movement was agony.
I got checked out and they put it due to growing belly and possible pulled muscle

@Sunshineclouds11 its was like bad cramping I was panicking something was wrong but without going into too much detail I had a really bad stomach so I’m assuming it was just that

@Shrillwaffle I had a lot of pain yesterday… I panicked thinking it was to do with the stress of arguing with OH but I think it’s probably just growing pains, it was literally all over. I think we’re at a mega growth spurt stage (again!!) The heat is killing me though 🥵🥵

so OH and I managed to have big chats yesterday. I don’t think issues are going to get sorted overnight, he’s much more scared that I realised (both of losing the baby after our previous MC and of this actually working and becoming a Dad 🫣) Talkings a good start at least though 🙏🏼

@Clueless13 how did you apply for your medical exemption certificate? My midwife didn’t say anything at my booking appointment and I sent her a message asking but she hasn’t replied either 🙄🤷🏼‍♀️

@Kelb79 what kind of things have you been rowing about? It’s probably just alot
of anxiety and emotion talking about how you both feel is defo the way forward.

I feel better today it was just last night it was horrible 😩 thinking it’s probably the heat

@Shrillwaffle I deff notice I’ve kind of an upset stomach feeling the last week or so but it must be a growth and maybe stretching spurt as a few ppl have commented how I’ve really popped out this week😅

the heat has been killing me all week but today it’s cooled down a bit where I am, it’s 20/21 instead of 29/30 so that’s deff helped. I see it’s down to 15 on Monday, I’m delighted 😂

@Kelb79 delighted to hear ye have had a chat about things, do u think the drinking will ease? We had a similar situation back in feb when I got pregnant (ended in MC) I found it very distressing also so I know where your coming from❤️

@DmcinT im really hoping he reigns it in a bit 😐 he has major issues with insomnia (from overthinking mainly) and has convinced himself that 2 or 3 beers a night help him to drift off better. I can’t get it through to him that it makes your sleep quality worse though!! He was worse for a long time, would come home and stay up super late watching TV and drinking more. But he’s stopped that at least.
I really do appreciate the efforts that he has made and I’m trying not to expect too much at once but I guess I just really hoped that me being pregnant would be enough to change things 😐

it’s scorching in Cornwall today where I am! I can’t find any energy at all and have such a headache!! Im going for a cold shower!! 🥵🥵

@Clueless13 my midwife emailed me my exemption card whilst I was in my first appointment with her. I didn't have to apply for it or anything and I don't have a physical card just a virtual one. I'd chase that up again if I were you x

Hi all,

I've been hovering with this threads for a while, never wanting to fully commit due to 3 precious losses, this will be our first baby.

Currently 19 weeks today due on 3rd Feb.

Just wanted to ask for opinions on finding out the sex of baby. We have had a gender scan 2 weeks ago and have a cannon and scratch cards from it and the gender in an envelope upstairs and are yet to open it. I think we're both unsure if we really want to or not, so any pros and cons to not knowing would be great.

@Clueless13 I had a right mare with my exception and only got it yesterday. My midwife Centre whenever I asked kept telling me "oh you just apply online for it now" at my 16 week appointment I asked again and was told the same, I told them the only thing I had found online was a system that they had to log into to issue it, not me. So she went off and got a poster with a QR code and told me to scan it, I did and low and behold it was the same website I had been on and they had to log in as the midwife with an nhs email... I explained again and she said "oh I don't know anything about that I'll just do a manual one" so she filled in this bit of paper and told me to complete the rest and send it off. It read like she should have also provided an envelope (likely paid already) but didn't. Anyway I did that straight away and it came through yesterday so took almost 3 weeks!

They should just be able to log in online and issue it there and then....

That should read *these threads and previous losses.... and further down exception.

Apologies for all the typos 🙈

I have also really popped out this week (17 +2) I was abit bigger pre pregnancy (size 14) so I was worrying how I'd look but then bump shape seems to be coming out nicely!

bad bowels also all week. Frequent Diarrhoea (tmi sorry!) and trapped wind after my dinner (guessing because it's my bigger meal - I have a smoothie for breakfast then small lunch)

a few pains here and there . A lot must be going on for us all!!!

@Havanalily1806 total personal choice. I am team surprise but I get why people want to know . The intimate gender reveals are lovely and you can 'prepare' better in away clothes wise.
The reason I want a surprise is because at the birth, I want DP to look first and tell me 'we have a daughter' or 'we have a son' - I'll likely be so high on drugs but I just think that moment will be so special.

@Havanalily1806 It's a totally personal thing whether to find out the sex or not. For me, I'd always want to know because it helps them feel more like a real person to me. I like to say he or she instead or it or them, and to choose their name and start to think of them as that name.
We already have a 3 year old daughter so we also think being able to talk about "your wee brother/sister" will help prepare her and have her feel involved.
Much less importantly, if it's a girl we need almost no more stuff whereas if it's a boy we'd need some clothes. We have some of my daughters clothes that could be unisex but not many. I don't go massively in for pink or blue but still clothes are pretty gendered especially as they get a bit bigger.

I’m team surprise but I did find out with both of my first two and was really happy with that as well.

This time, I’m really looking forward to having the experience at birth of pushing to find out whether I have a boy or girl/ finding out the gender whilst in the exhilaration of having just had a baby.

I have plenty of newborn/ 0-3 in gender neutral from a friend and am happy to buy bits after they are born. I also have a preference for gender neutral clothing anyway so it doesn’t bother me (my eldest two are older so I’m starting again with stock of clothes)

@Havanalily1806 yes that’s the same form I was told complete and send off, I remember reading the part about the envelope and thinking the same! Ah how annoying, I’ll give another couple days and ask my midwife again.
Thanks everyone :)