Feb 2024 thread 4

[Mummapenguin20]

Thought I’d start new one as old one was full and couldn’t see the next one x

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I feel huge and going into my 23rd week tomorrow 🙈 I'm definitely much bigger than I was with my first. I will be having the test for gestational diabetes as I was just over the threshold for my BMI and thankful I am as my first baby was born at 9lbs 14oz!
If you had GD last time have you been referred to be tested for it this time too?
How many previous pregnancies have you had?

My MIL is an amazing woman, I adore her, but she's getting way too involved in planning for baby. She doesn't want us to buy anything until she's done all the shopping she wants for him and she's saying she wants to pay for the travel system. She's putting ideas in my partners head about us urgently needing to set up a nursery even though right now we plan to keep baby in our room for up to a year. This is all really new to me and I don't know where to draw the line between gratitude and wanting her to butt out. My own mother does not care so it's comforting to have a mother figure who does.

That’s really unfair, I would be upset if I were told I couldn’t plan or buy anything for my own baby!! I think a polite but blunt “We’d like to plan everything, we really appreciate your support but we’ll let you know” … or maybe agree what items you’d like her to buy. Crazy… I’ve been upset with my MIL for sharing my medical details with her friends, this would be a total no.

I suspect it’s coming from a place of love and that she genuinely doesn’t understand how it’s landing. I’d maybe say to her something like “we really appreciate your generosity, but want to do some research on some of the items you’re mentioning and do some planning around what we need to get before they arrive. We are going to start making a list of the things that we would like to get but will share it with you when we have done our research so that if you do want to get the baby any gifts then you’ll know what we need.”

then you’re in control of ‘what’ gets purchased but she can contribute financially in the way that she is hoping to.

@Cheetocat I know you've mentioned your MIL before and I think you share quite a close relationship. If that's the case, I'd say a face to face conversation is the way to go. Just be honest with her about how you feel, that you want to be able to buy things for baby, that is an important part of the nesting and bonding process for you as well, and although you know she's excited about getting involved and it's so wonderful that she cares so much for baby already, that's she's going to be an incredibly important part of this baby's life no matter what she has or hasn't bought.

Perhaps come up either with a list of things it's important to you that you get and tell her you want to buy these things but anything else she'd like to get you is up to her, or as Glasspaw has said give her a list of things you do want (either specific, or 'we'd love for you to choose the XYZ') either way finish with a reminder you don't want to accidentally double up on buying stuff.

Also, have a frank conversation with DH about the reasons why you decided to not do the nursery now (probably also prewarn him your going to have a conversation with his mum) and that it's important to you that he confirms your still on the same page about not doing the nursery now. that way next time MIL wants to talk to him about the nursery he's more likely to confirm your decision that it's not happening now.

@anony1111 9lb 14 😬 wow!

I've one child, how about you?

I did have GD before, and ended up on insulin. They tested me at 14 weeks and I was all clear. I have another test in a couple weeks at around 28 weeks. When are you being tested?

I measured my waist - was 26 inches, now 41 inches 😩 and high from right under my boobs - and it is a girl this time so maybe there's something in it!

@Cheetocat I think I'd say that you don't want duplicates and waste as babies don't need too much and you've been given/bought stuff already. Lovely she wants to be involved, but it's a bit (lot) too much!

Has anyone else noticed increase in discharge? It’s the “normal” colour etc I’ve just noticed a bit more, but I do have a stitch in.

im 25+1 today so I’m hoping the next 48 hours are very boring and little one doesn’t copy his big sister.

Also this weekend …… Honestly! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Ah @Nemo145 oh no I'm sorry! What awful weather to have to wear a bloody boot as well. Hope you recover soon.

Yes I have days when discharge is so heavy I feel like I've wet myself. It's really unpleasant, and makes me feel not very clean.

The private 4D scan was over the weekend was amazing 😀
We saw his face so clear and all of his features and as much as I believed the nhs scan it was lovely to defo see his bits to 100% confirm boy 😂

Thanks everyone for the advice, I think I will have a chat with her about how involved she's getting, I know she just wants to save us the burden of buying everything and that it's coming from a good place, she's just overstepping a bit and I want to experience buying little things for baby and preparing for him. All I've bought so far is a pair of slippers for the hospital.

Just out of interest - when does everyone plan to stop working and start maternity leave?
I've currently planned to finish at 37+3, first baby so no idea if this is too late!
But I'm hoping I'll be well / able to do a few weeks from home if I'm tired/uncomfortable/unable to drive!

I work a desk job for the most part so I'm really hoping it won't be too bad!

I'm going to do the same as you, @msp2023 . I plan on finishing at c.38 weeks, but working from home after my christmas break (so won't be going into the office after c. 32 weeks).

My first too, so might have got it wrong, but don't want to be sitting around too long feeling anxious, particularly in January which is quite a miserable month anyway!

I am going off at exactly 37 weeks, my job is totally remote though so think I should be able to manage to then! 2nd baby x

I’m planning on working until 38 weeks.. I’m also hoping for an elective C section so will confirm with work closer to the time I get a date (hopefully) for my section so there’s not much time inbetween :)

@msp2023 I just discussed this with my boss this week, I’m finishing at 30 weeks but I have a 3 hr driving commute everyday that’s really taking it out of me and I’m high risk. Because of our summer holidays I’ll be due back to school in sept 24 whether I finish in Dec or feb so I’m happy to be finishing soon.

Working from home after Christmas
Mat leave to start 38 weeks

I'm wanting to keep my AL to add onto the end.

Second baby

@Nemo145 I posted about discharge only the other day and asked if anyone else was experiencing 😂 so your not alone! I'm finding it rather annoying as it just feels like I've peed myself it's that much 🤦‍♀️🤣

I run a restaurant that closes from new year until valentines so I’ll be off and probably totally bored from then! I definitely think that’s too early (about 33 weeks for my date) but we’ve got loads to do around the house so I’ll probably make use of the time!! 😝😝

Second baby. Planning to work til my due date, but I'll be working from home that last couple of weeks just in case.

@DmcinT that's a long commute, and would be horrible heavily pregnant.

What're you planning to do with your leave before baby comes everyone?

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 i literally have to decorate my whole house 🤣🤣 it’s a self build that we moved into 5 years ago but never finished! There’s soooo much to do!! OH has caused a huge bottle neck as he’s building a music studio and dragging his heels like you wouldn’t believe. All the building stuff and stuff that will live in the studio is scattered around the rest of the house so I literally can’t get anything sorted until he’s done that!! I’m getting soooo stressed!! I’m trying to do stuff while I’ve got a bit of energy but there only do much I can do until he gets sorted out 😐😐

I had a serious nesting moment today and sorted out a a pile of stuff…. Now im
feeling super lightheaded and baby is going insane wriggling!!! Anyone else had that?? 😳😳

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I'm hopefully planning on kicking my feet up and doing nothing!

I'm very much an obsessive planner and love getting things done super early so I'm hoping to have everything ready by end of Dec/early Jan (due first week of Feb).

Then I can hopefully have just a few weeks of peace and quiet before everything changes!

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I think I am
more than likely going to have an elcs around the 39 weeks so spend them 2 weeks with my dd who will be 22 months in feb as the guilt of having another baby when she’s so young is starting to set in!

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I’ve a really busy December so once that’s over I’m planning on really chilling out and doing nothing for the first few weeks of Jan. I’m in Jan 22nd to remove my stitches so realistically I need to be ready by then as baby will be born pretty soon after that I’d say.

@Kelb79 I’ve had a few moments of overwhelming need to clean/tidy things 😅 and I’m getting some strong wollops in the evenings

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4931921-due-february-2024-thread-5

Spoke to soon, we've already got a new thread. Deleting mine!