Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

@Catconfusion Oh it’s exciting getting a bump though and knowing baby is growing nicely! Delighted for you 💓 Have you started to think of the nursery yet?

@sadtoday21 We decided on the Silver Cross Pioneer, there’s an exclusive one to John Lewis we plan on getting. Around £900 for the package but currently on offer so sitting at about £800 now. I’m truly nervous for the scan now, so worried about bad news but I know I need to stay positive. Only 4 sleeps.

@Amanda81 Oh she is getting ready to come and meet you! December is only a handful of days away now and then it will be baby month for you. Can’t wait! Are you all prepared? I can’t stop staring at baby girl clothes in all the stores, there are so many classic designs out there!

Hey @Kiki061190 - your scan will be absolutely fine, and once you have achieved that milestone you will enjoy it all the more. The girl clothes are just so pretty. I've tried to resist buying too many outfits and she will just grow out of them so quickly. I think we are prepared, but I then start to think...perhaps those towels that I bought her aren't fluffy enough...totally irrational. I think she will be a small baby as my bump isn't massive. Although, my bump is very much all baby and is constantly hard (not fluid squishy). Another reason not to go mad on the shopping for outfits.

@Amanda81 You are so right, I know she’ll be in sleepsuits mostly for a while as well so I need to stock up on some for her. Thanks for the kind words about the scan, I feel more nervous for this one than the last as it feels like more to lose. I’m quite happy though to sit back and enjoy this pregnancy after. I’m 19+4 today and it feels crazy to have gotten this far.

Hey @Kiki061190 we’ve gone for a secondhand Stokke mini which comes with the toddler bed conversion kit. We won it for £100 on eBay so pretty pleased. Just need a new mattress for it. We’re hoping to paint a mural on the wall, maybe a forest. We’ve also found some lovely wallpaper for the ceiling with glow in the dark stars. We’re aiming for a calming environment. X

@sadtoday the growth scans happen when your care is consultant let. My age and my hip issues mean they want to keep a closer eye on me. The placenta can become less effective in older mums so they make sure baby’s growth is on track. X

Oh @sadtoday21 they start at 28 weeks, then 32, 36 and 38. I will see the consultant at each appointment. x

Arrrrh @Amanda81 it’s getting so close. Not long until Thursday and then hopefully you’ll have a clearer idea about the birth. My friend was saying her baby turned literally a few days before her due date so you never know. Great your body is preparing! Literally can’t wait for us to start having them. It’ll be a lovely start with your little girl! Xx

@Catconfusion Nursery idea sounds lovely! I bet it will be a lovely calming environment for your son. I must say I’ve been finding working full time, keeping my house clean and finishing planning my wedding quite exhausting. I’ve had so much social events on and I’m home tonight feeling absolutely exhausted!

Arh thanks @Kiki061190 I didn’t know you were getting married. When is the big day? I bet it’s really hard working full time. My sickness has returned and I’ve not been right since Friday really. So glad I’m not working at the moment. I’m exhausted too. It’s probably the hip pain as well as the nausea. I’m seeing my go tomorrow to see what we can do to manage it. The sickness isn’t as bad as it was but still stopping me from getting things done. Hopefully it’ll pass! Xx

@Catconfusion You have had a tough time with sickness! I hope it eases off for good soon. I am getting married February 2021 so baby should be about 9/10 months depending on when she decides to show up 😊 I have the majority of the wedding planned but looking to tie up loose ends before my due date!

Thanks @Kiki061190 me too. It’s more heartburn and stomach acid issues at the moment. I’m not sleeping very well with it which doesn’t help. So glad it’s not as bad as before. Wedding sounds amazing. Such a nice time of year to get married. Two more sleeps until your scan!! Xx

@Kiki061190 congrats on your upcoming wedding! Do you have a beautiful dress all picked out? That's so exciting that you will start your new married life with a newborn! Only a short while to go now, thinking of you for Friday Xxx.

@Catconfusion that nursery plan sounds so lovely! I can't wait to do ours. How are you feeling these days?

Had midwife appointment yesterday and listened to baby again. She also measured bump and I was measuring 25 (cm? I don't know, but she said its good if bump is the same size as gestation and I'm 25 weeks tomorrow, so that was all right). I also had the whopping cough jab - and I have to say that it does hurt, it's not an exaggeration! I couldn't sleep all night because it was slightly sore and I was sleeping on that side. Also starting to feel a bit huge and uncomfortable now - and I may need to breakdown and buy one or two maternity outfits soon. Anyone know where I can get a chic looking dress for winter that goes with black tights and boots? I looked at Seraphine, but I'm put off by the fact that I can't try it on and not sure how easy it is to return things. Otherwise, just a bit anxious that baby's movements are still not totally in a pattern - or at least they seem to shift when I'm out and busy, so hoping for a quiet day at home today when I can feel him more.

@sadtoday21 Yes I have my dress and thankfully I think I should have enough time to fit back in after baby. We always wanted a baby at our wedding but there was never a guarantee it would happen. 2 sleeps! I’m nervous now. There will be so many discounts on with Black Friday so this week is a good week to pick up some maternity wear. I love good old Asos for things that won’t break the bank.

@Catconfusion Oh the acid reflux is horrible! It comes and goes with me but can make it hard to sleep. I’m finding sleeping more and more uncomfortable.

Hello all, I'm new to the threads. We lost our little boy in May at 20 weeks, I was absolutely devastated, I really thought I was out of the danger zone. Now I know there is no such thing. We started trying again as soon as we could and have just last week found out I'm pregnant. (5-6 weeks) We are over the moon, but I am terrified, I am so scared something is going to go wrong again. I just want a baby so badly but just feel like it's not going to happen. I'm pretty much preparing myself for the worst and I don't know why. I literally can't get it out of my head,everyone I got I the loo I expect to see blood. How do you all get through each day and cope without going insane with worry?

@Cthomas87 Welcome! I am so very sorry for your loss. Was your loss discovered at the scan?

Congratulations on your pregnancy. In terms of anxiety, I don’t think it goes away at all. I’m 20 weeks tomorrow and I still feel anxious every day. Thankfully the ladies on this thread have been a lifeline for me, you can speak openly about your anxieties here and everyone has felt something similar.

Massive congratulations on your upcoming wedding celebrations 🥳 @Kiki061190. Your little baby girl will make a lovely flower girl I am sure! Not long now for your scan...looking forward to pics.

Welcome @Cthomas87 - very sorry for your loss. Like @Kiki061190 says, the anxiety never goes away, but I do find having a support of like-minded lovey ladies who have had the unfortunate experience of a loss to have been massively helpful. I'm currently 35+5 and although the anxiety has reduced the further I have progressed (after two losses) the worry never really goes. I think once you have experienced loss, you become much more aware of the potential problems and regrettably less naive about pregnancy...

Arrghhhh...the whooping cough jab @sadtoday21 - such a killer on the arm. It too mine a week to disappear! I've not really bought much with maternity clothes other than over the bump trousers/jeans and a few maternity tops. I'm trying to make it through without splurging on the clothes...i fit my Yorkshire stereotype unfortunately 😂

I hope the heartburn isn't too uncomfortable @Catconfusion - I have it a lot at the minute and can truly sympathies. You've probably tried doing this, but I have stopped eating meals and eat little and often. This has reduced my heartburn in the early hours and is no longer waking me up. I still get it after eating, but I can sip ice cold water to help reduce the discomfort. Also, with your hip pain, have you got a pillow to help with any pressure on your hips whilst lying down?

Hope all is well with you @bananamonkey

Had the MW appointment today...yep...still breech. Presentation ultrasound scan tomorrow to confirm breech position and what type of breech...and will most likely get a date for an elective CS. Pants, but can't be helped! All measurements and health checks are okay, and BP has come back down a little from last week. Seeing the MW every week now until she is here. I'm starting to get a little emotional at the thought of meeting her...like proper teary! Must be the hormones kicking in.

I also had my last arranged project meeting today! A bit of a milestone! I know I will probably get a call from a client saying can we meet la la la, but there's nothing in the diary now other than desk work 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌

Love and hugs to all xx

Hey ladies, I just saw the GP and it turns out I have a temperature. She’s diagnosed a low grade virus which explains why I’ve just wanted to sleep the last few days. She’s just told me to rest up and plenty of fluids. Highly unlikely to affect the baby. I do feel rotten though. She thinks the near faints were low blood pressure related even though it was fine today at the appointment. Apparently we have an extra pint of blood at this stage of pregnancy and it can take a while for the body to adjust. My doctor retired today so I got her a card. She’s such a good doctor with Gynae/obstectric stuff so I’m a really sad. I now need to find a replacement.

@Amanda81 Congratulations on having your last client meeting. A shame baby is still breech but hopefully now you’ll get a date and know when she’ll be here which is so exciting. It’s such a life changing event having a baby so tears are understandable. I’m already feeling a bit like that. Let us know when you have a date!

As for the hip pain I’m not suffering too much at night. I do have a pillow but for comfort more than anything. Movement triggers it the most.

@Cthomas87 I’m so sorry for loss. I’m 20 and a half weeks now and can’t imagine how painful and shocking that was. You’re in the right place for support. These ladies have been a lifeline! Just take each day as it comes and focus on the next milestone. Your chances are very good this time.

@sadtoday21 If I’m honest a bit grotty with this virus I have but I’m sure it will pass. Thanks for shaking though. I’ve tended to buy non maternity dresses but in a stretchy material and sized up. Skater style dresses tend to skim the bump. It is difficult when not many shops stock maternity. I think Jo Jo and H&M are amongst the few. I’ve just discovered Vertbaudet online and they have so nice stuff. So glad you’ve seen the midwife again and heard the heartbeat!

Have a good rest of the week! Not long now @Kiki061190 xx

I'm so sorry for your loss @Cthomas87, I can't even imagine how hard that was for you. The only thing to do I think is take it one day at a time and make mini-milestones for yourself. For me it has got better with time, although I'm still anxious but the first 12 weeks were the hardest. Every time I've had a wobble these ladies have talked me down so please keep talking x

That's great you are so organised for the wedding @Kiki061190! Your scan is so close now

@sadtoday21 the maternity selection in shops is crap, I have bought a lot of stuff online, for me I like ASOS, H&M and New Look stuff. JL have some of the more higher end things and although it's not really my style JoJos have a lot of dresses. Also Seraphine stuff is always on Ebay.

Get well soon @Catconfusion I've had a few dizzy spells, I struggled last time standing for long periods and had to do the washing up sat on a chair! It's a blood pressure thing for me.

At least you'll have a date to plan for @Amanda81! Fingers crossed she still might move, stupid question but are you doing the exercises to encourage movement? We did them in antenatal yoga class as DD was transverse for a bit but I think they're on YouTube. May not help but maybe worth a try.

Had a couple of quiet days of movement which always freaks me out but then last night was pretty active when I sat on the floor. I think he/she has moved as I have a lot of pressure on my bladder and now walking longer distances feels a bit trickier. Can't wait for the scan so I can relax a little more providing everything's OK.

Thank you all for your support. I really am struggling at the moment, just can't get the thought that something is wrong out of my head. This sounds silly but I was very nauseous in my previous pregnancies so I kind of want the nausea to kick in now so I know there's actually something in there; keep imagining I'll get to the 12 week scan and there will be nothing there. At the moment I don't really have any symptoms which is just adding to my anxiety!

@Cthomas87 It’s so hard as symptoms come and go and they’re not consistent with each pregnancy, all 3 of mine have been different. My mmc was discovered at the 12 week scan so this time I cried with relief that there was actually a baby in there, felt like I couldn’t trust my body. Can you ask your GP to refer you for an early scan based on your history? I had to push a bit but the EPU were happy to see me at 8 weeks and that really helped the anxiety.

@Cthomas87 it’s such a difficult time waiting for scans. With regards to nausea, I was really ill leading up to my mmc so sickness doesn’t necessarily mean all ok. So if you’re not feeling it yet could just be this pregnancy isn’t affecting you in that way. I do feel for you. It was such a difficult time but remember every pregnancy is different and there’s an overwhelmingly good chance all is ok this time. Xx

@bananamonkey I sense blood pressure may be an issue for me as well on top on the big I have. GP said it’s so common at this stage. Not long until your scan. I’m so excited for you. You’ll be so relieved when it’s done! Xx

Hi ladies,

I found out I was pregnant a couple of days ago at 10 dpo. Feeling extremely anxious about this one as it is my second pregnancy (first ended in MMC at 14 w in July).

My experience last time was pretty bad, felt awful throughout first trimester with a lot of morning sickness. Went to 12w scan and baby was measuring small, was told I'd had got my dates wrong, which I hadn't as I'd been tracking my cycle for months. Went for another scan 2w later and no heartbeat with baby measuring 12w.

3 days of medical treatment failed so had a D&C. Readmitted two days later with retained placenta and an infection. Was due to have a second D&C but the doctors kept changing their mind. Finally decided I would should have it but I wasn't nil by mouth at that point. Ended up passing it myself overnight.

They sent genetics which I am still waiting for the results of 5 months later. Apparently they didn't fill out the paperwork properly and also didn't label my samples so I've had to go for a DNA test to prove they are genetic samples from my baby! Just got an appointment through for the results and it isn't til Feb. If all goes to plan I'll be second trimester by then!

As you can imagine feeling very anxious about it all!

Hey @CrazyCoonz I’m so sorry you’ve been through this and the hospital messed up your sample. Good they did some genetic testing. I think generally it’s after three losses they test the baby. Such a shame the appointment’s so far away. One loss is extremely common as traumatic as it is to find out so late so your chances are very good this pregnancy will continue normally. Just take each day as it comes and aim for each milestone. Ask your GP for an early scan at 6ish weeks if this will help your anxiety. There’s plenty of support on this thread. Xx

Hey @bananamonkey - thanks for the tips. I've been doing all that I can with trying to get her to move. I've even been crawling around on all fours for weeks upon end with cleaning the carpets throughout the house. It's excruciating when the movements are different for a period of time, isn't it! Thankfully your movements are back to being familiar, but sorry to hear that you are finding it harder to get around...the joys of pregnancy.

An update from me...I went for my presentation scan. She's in a Frank breech position. The sonographer was great and went through all the usual checks. She is weighing around 5.3lbs now and she commented that my bump was all baby with very little room for her to to move around and is therefore not surprised that she hasn't moved for a while. I saw her practice breathing which was lovely. Given the comments made by the sonographer and the consultant (re: bump is all baby and my small frame) I have declined the attempt to manually move her. They want me back on the 9th Dec where I will be scanned again and booked in for a CS delivery. It was so nice to see little girl again and to hear that everything looked good. The downside for me is that as her bum is essentially where her head should be and i will get no relief from the heartburn as she can't engage...sounds gross, but today I've had a ridiculous amount of wind (burping) and it's making me sick in my mouth. Just proper Ming!

Hey @Amanda81 glad to hear you had such a detailed scan and appointment. It sounds like she’s a really good weight too. It must have been lovely to see her practicing breathing. The 9th Dec will soon be here and you’ll get to know when she’s coming. Sorry to hear about the heartburn. It’s such a horrid thing to have. Not long now though. You’re doing so well! Xx

Hey @Catconfusion - the practice breathing is an amazing sight on the screen. Actually seeing her torso move to a breathing cycle was magical. Women are just amazing! I am still amazed that our bodies can go through this. I had my usual cry at hearing the heartbeat 💗 I get so emotional every time xx