Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Hey @sadtoday21 - my BP averaged about 90/70 throughout most of my pregnancy. My MW said that it does go down, but should steadily go back up when you get closer to term, but should still stay within normal limits. No harm in calling MW/Triage, if only to explain how you are feeling and they can advice you. I've overheard many calls to triage this week and the doctors/MW's have all been really helpful to the ladies calling. Don't hesitate calling them if needs be, no point in worrying when the service is there to help you xxx

As for me, I'm back on the ward. Had my assessment today to see how my BP was. All was fine with my BP, but they said that I was symptomatic still and they want to observe me. I have a cannula in my hand so that they can intervene if necessary. They've also started the steroids just in case she comes early. Apparently my reflexes are out of this world and that's a cause for concern alone...I had no idea about the reflexes being linked to preeclampsia.

My whooping cough jab made me feel a little iffy aswell @Catconfusion. More aches in my muscles than anything which generally got me down. I hope you are okay xxx

Hi ladies! I’m just getting some time to catch up.

@sadtoday21 Sorry about the anemia but glad you have the right supplements for it now. Hope you are taking care of yourself. Fatigue has been awful for me the last few weeks. We need as much rest as possible, growing a baby is hard work!!!

@Amanda81 Sorry about the BP being sky high, it’s great they are monitoring you though and you are so close to meeting your little one! I hope you are managing to get some rest.

@bananamonkey @Catconfusion How are you ladies feeling? I’ve popped only this week, finally! Although dressing is hilarious now, what do I wear?

Hi All,

It's really encouraging to read of your pregnancies progressing well. I know the statistics all indicate that miscarriages are common and there's no reason you can't go on to have a healthy pregnancy afterwards, but, at least for me, once you've had a miscarriage it feels as though it's going to go the same way again.

I estimate I'm around 6 weeks now and I've been having cramping and some spotting. It was around this time that the cramping started last time, followed by spotting. So in that respect I'm not hopeful. But, on the other hand, I feel horrendously sick all the time and my boobs are still sore so I still seem to have symptoms which all disappeared around this time last time. I'm thinking of booking a private scan, but with two children and the mania of Christmas I'm struggling to find a time that I could go. Also, if the scan were to show no heartbeat it could just be because it's too early, or it could be because the pregnancy isn't viable, and it might not tell me anything. I'm swinging between hope and pessimism. The not knowing is awful.

Sorry for the long, rambling post. I hope you're all doing ok.

How's it going @Amanda81? Hope you didn't have to spend too long on the ward?

Hope you're feeling better @sadtoday21. Low BP and anaemia will make you feel like crap but do call the MW if you're worried s

Hi @allthesharks it is really hard to shake the feeling that it's going to happen again, I really wish I could go back to being naive but MC really tainted the whole early pregnancy experience for me, although it's much better now. I had an MMC but was told the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks so for me it was useful to have an early scan just after that timepoint I would recommend it. Luckily I managed to get a GP referral to the EPU. Good luck x

How are you @Catconfusion and @Kiki061190? Not much to report here which is good, will be glad to get this busy week out of the way and start to enjoy Christmas! I did go to a local home birth group with my friend on Friday which was interesting. Also a friend of mine had a MC in October last year and told me she's 10 weeks pregnant which is super lovely

How are you doing @Amanda81? Hope you are well and either discharged now or about to be holding baby girl in your arms!

Thanks @bananamonkey I didn't end up calling the midwife, but the iron supplements seem to be helping and I'm having a 4D scan on Saturday and GP appointment in three weeks time to recheck the iron levels. Glad you are almost done with work and ready to enjoy the holidays!

@Kiki061190 yay congrats on your baby bump! In terms of what to wear, let me know when you figure it out haha! I didn't want to spend loads of money on maternity wear, so I just have two pairs of jeans and three sweaters (which aren't actually maternity, just a bit roomier). Can't wear my suits/dresses/pencil skirts though, so I've been thinking about getting one nice maternity dress secondhand for the holidays. Also I live in spandex and tailored sweatshirts! Heels have also gone out the window for now :/.

How are you doing @Catconfusion?

I'm 27+4 today, had some anxiety yesterday because both sides of the family decided to book 10+ hour flights (very expensive) to come here for the birth at the same time (late March/early April). This made me anxious because, while I know they have to book in advance, now I'm worried about what will happen and also I'm not sure I really want everyone here right after the birth? I have mixed feelings about it. Anyway, start of the third trimester on Thursday and scan on Saturday, just can't wait for this week to be over and hope that baby boy is doing ok in there!

I’m so sorry you’re going through this @allthesharks For some spotting can be normal and everything progresses fine. Sometimes it’s a sign something is wrong as you found with your first. Personally I’d wait a few days until you’re approaching 7 weeks and then have a scan as a heartbeat should be seen by then. In the meantime you could ask if your GP would prescribe progesterone. Tommy’s did some research suggesting it can help prevent loss for ladies who spot during pregnancy. I was prescribed it, even though spotting wasn’t an issue with my mmc. The doctor just felt it was a good precaution when there’s a history of miscarriage. Anyway, I really hope you get some good news soon! Xx

@bananamonkey I’m good thanks apart from a horrible head cold. It all seemed to kick off after the whooping cough jab but I’m feeling better now.

Great news about your friend. She must be over the moon and not far off the 12 week scan.

I’m intrigued by home birth even though it wouldn’t be an option for me due to underlying factors. Is it something you’re considering? Xx

@sadtoday21 I’m good thank you. Just bought some baby accessories like an in ear thermometer and cleaning kit in the Mothercare sale. Just trying to get a few things each month. I’m so sorry to hear about the anaemia. Great news you’re feeling better though. You must be so excited about the scan. Can’t wait to hear all about it.

As for your family coming, I’d decide what sort of boundaries you’d like in place. Are they staying with you? If not it’s totally understandable to see them in short bursts. It’s such a big thing having a first baby and they’ll hopefully understand. Xx

@Amanda81 thinking of you and hoping you’re doing well. I guess either way baby will be here soon. Looking forward to your news! Xx

All is good with me apart from the nasty cold I’ve had which is on the way out. Baby is still quite inconsistent with movements. Yesterday was quite quiet and I didn’t sleep well because I’d not felt much. Wouldn’t say I was particularly worried but just a bit uneasy. Today has been a bit slow too. The movements are there but very sporadic. I just think it’s the AP at this early stage. I’m 23 weeks now so still a little early for a routine. My friend told me on Saturday she didn’t feel a thing until 24 weeks so I’m just glad I am getting daily movements, albeit gentle ones. He does seem very stimulated by sounds so we’re playing music when we can to get a reaction.

I’m even more sure about having a c section after having a chat with a couple of friends. One had an awful induction experience and wonders how I would have coped with my hips as it was long and drawn out. The other had an amazing experience with an elective c section at 45 years old. She’s really glad she did it. I am dreading my consultant appointment after Christmas because I have a feeling she’ll try to push me down the natural route. I think it’s partly funding but they seem so keen on achieving a natural delivery if possible. I guess I just need to advocate for myself and my situation. Whatever happens it’s so exciting! I can’t wait to be a Mum! Xx

Thank you for the support. I didn't know that @Catconfusion. I had progesterone pessaries to prevent premature labour with my second DD, but I didn't realise they could help early on. I started them at 24 weeks when my cervix was shortening and she was born at 33 weeks, although that was 5 weeks further than I went with DD2, so I think they did help. The spotting seems to have stopped now. I've had the odd painful cramp but mainly I just feel so, so sick. Which is hopefully a good sign.

When I was pregnant with my first I remember someone telling me that movements can slow when you're physically busy and doing loads. I found that to be true for me.

As for the c section. I have an emergency c section with my first and I didn't find the recovery too bad at all. I was discharged the next day (although that is unusual, it was because my DD was in NICU in a different hospital). I was travelling up to London by train every day afterwards. I was in pain for about 5 days, but it was manageable. I had a vaginal delivery with my second and, it wasn't awful, but I needed stitches and I wouldn't say the recovery was that different for me. I imagine it would all be much calmer if the c section was elective too. Whatever you decide will be the best decision for you.

@allthesharks I’m really pleased it’s eased now. Here is a link to the research... www.tommys.org/our-organisation/about-us/charity-news/hope-many-couples-progesterone-shown-reduce-risk-miscarriage-some-women

I used the pessaries until 16 weeks from 4 weeks and have had no bleeding or complications. It might be worth seeing the GP tomorrow and asking.

Yes I definitely think the busier I am the quieter baby is. I’ve had some pretty decent kicks this evening so I feel reassured.

Thanks for sharing about your c section and vaginal birth. Any information from people shoved experienced it is helpful. We’ll definitely ask for what we want.

Let us know how you get on in the coming days. Fingers crossed for you! Xx

Hey ladies. Just a quick update from me...I was released again on Saturday, but am getting daily visits by the MW at home and am back at the hospital tomorrow for a greater level of monitoring. They are certainly taking good care of me. I think my body might be starting to prepare for the big event! Last night I had the most uncomfortable tightening across my bump from 11pm until 10am this morning, it was coming and going and varying in intensity and it has calmed down a little now, but still there in the background. My MW said to keep monitoring, but doesn't want me to leave it too long to go in. 😱 sorry for the short post...but I am in a little discomfort and will catch up proper when I get the chance and feel a little more comfortable. Love and hugs to all xxx

Hi @bananamonkey not much going on here either! I am feeling baby move a lot now which is nice but also a panic when she doesn’t move for a while. Looking forward to a bit of rest next week.

@Catconfusion sorry to hear you’ve had a cold! I hope you start to feel better soon. Baby boy will be kicking away non stop soon. Mines had a quieter day Saturday but yesterday and today she has been hyper!

@sadtoday21 It’s hard because I’m trying to keep my personal style but with a growing bump. Not the easiest. I can’t believe you’re almost 28 weeks. It’s insane. You’ll be meeting him soon enough 💓

Good luck today @Amanda81, sounds like she will be here any day now!

Glad you're feeling better @sadtoday21, hope you are getting some rest x

Sorry about your cold @Catconfusion, it sucks when you can't take any meds, hope you feel better soon. I'm the same as you and @Kiki061190 with movement, some days are a little quiet then some are much more active. Friday she was super wriggly, I think because it was my day off so I was talking out loud a lot more whereas my work days are fairly quiet.

I am definitely considering a homebirth, I wouldn't have done it first time round but if everything goes the same way then there's no reason why I couldn't. There are a lot of pros, I like the idea of being at home and it being more convenient, it'd be easier to arrange childcare and nicer not having to make that uncomfortable journey to hospital, although we're only 10-15 minutes away by car so if I did need to go in it's a short transfer. And if I can avoid the post-natal ward as much as possible that'd be great. The MLBU is great though so I wouldn't mind going there again if I could get access to a pool again. My friend who I went to the group with is having one in the next month (she's 35 weeks but her first came at 37 weeks so could be anytime now!) so I'm hoping to find out more from her experience. Plus there is a new homebirth MW team in place locally from January which should make it easier to do.

I'm living in maternity skinny jeans and my normal jumpers at the moment as they're all quite roomy, I have a couple of maternity dresses for work but that's it. No idea what to wear at Christmas! I do have a loose fit gold top but may look like a giant bauble in it!

Hey guys. It's been a very long week, but I am coming to the end of it all. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia on Monday night which required urgent attention and was whipped into theatre at on Tuesday morning once the had stabilised me, Holly was born at 1.45am weighting 5 lbs 13. There where other complications where the placenta had to be manually removed which meant I was in theatre for a long period of time. I am making a good recovery and little Holly is now home settling in. I'm on a cocktail of drugs which has made me pretty drozzy for the last couple of days, but starting to put the whole chapter behind me. Here she is...

@Amanda81 what amazing news, massive congratulations!!! Holly is absolutely perfect and gorgeous. I was just thinking about you and wondering if she was here yet! I am so sorry you had to go through such a stressful time with the preeclampsia and then complications post-surgery, but really glad to hear you are recovering well now. Thinking of you both and wishing you all the best for this wonderful time bonding together Xxx.

Congratulations @Amanda81 she’s so beautiful! 😍 I had a feeling she must have made an appearance.

Sorry you had to go through the stress of hospital and surgery, hope you are recovering ok and settling in nicely at home as a new little family x

@Amanda81 Congratulations on the birth of Holly! She is absolute perfection 💓 Sorry you had complications during labour but she truly is the best Xmas gift 🎁

Oh @Amanda81 she’s beautiful and I’m so happy for you. You must be so relieved she’s here. It sounds like you’ve had quite the ordeal but thank goodness you’re both doing well. Such a beautiful name and very apt given the time of year. I can imagine she’s the best Christmas present ever! Xxxx

Thank you all. I do feel very blessed and I am very thankful for the NHS for looking after us both. We had our first night at home last night which was lovely and we managed to cover two feeds during the night which tbh is amazing considering that we are both knackered - we will get into a routine I'm sure and things will become easier.

I must say the 'skin to skin' contact thing is amazing...that's where I'm feeling the most of our bond developing. So looking forward to you all getting your little ones...everyone is so close now xxx

@Amanda81 so glad you’re home and managing to feed. It’s amazing! What a journey it’s been. It makes me so happy to see the first baby on our little thread when I think about what we’ve all been through.

Couldn’t agree more about the NHS. I can’t fault the treatment we’ve had and access to resources so far. Xx

We are getting close to the max limit on the thread...make sure you tag me in to the next thread guys as I need to stay with you guys to hear all of your updates and to continue offering support xxx

@Amanda81 I can't wait to hear all the details when you are more well rested and I'm fascinated by what happens after birth! Congratulations on your first feed! Must be an amazing feeling. How are you doing otherwise? Don't feel that you need to update us if you are really tired and want some time to rest, but here for you if you need to talk! Xxx

All, here is the link to the new thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3773369-Pregnancy-after-MMC

Hi, not sure if this post is still in use or not.
I had a miscarriage at 7+3 in October 2018, I’ve been trying again since January 2019, and on 02.01.20 finally got my long awaited positive.
I truly thought I would be overjoyed and I am happy but I am so scared, every time I feel a slight twinge I go to the toilet to check there’s no bleeding etc, i just feel like a nervous wreck and I feel like every second of the day is dragging.
Just looking for some reassurance and to chat to people who are feeling the same really?
Also I had really extreme sickness last time from before I even found out I was pregnant until days before the miscarriage happened however this time my sickness is much less sometimes only every other day, is this normal or is this a bad sign?
Thanks in advance hope you are all well x

I miscarried a whole year ago and each day it pains me to hear about others finding out about a pregnancy and seeing other people with babies.. I don’t want to be like that. It’s been so hard. It doesn’t help that I’ve been having a hard time getting my period on track or having a period at all. So ttc is hard. I’m also very scared.. i miscarried at 12 weeks.. when i went to my first appointment they had a doctor who was in training.. they let him try to get the babies heartbeat. He thought he had it and said he had it and hearing it i started to cry i was so happy. Then another doctor came to listen and what he said was “I’m sorry we can’t find a heartbeat. The heartbeat you heard was your own.” Instantly i felt like throwing up.. it was like they just played some sick game. I was so mad.. anyway. Does anyone have any tips on ttc ?