Pregnancy after Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

Hey @bananamonkey it’s frustrating isn’t it. I’m finding the movement sporadic. I didn’t feel much at all last night. I guess they just change position and go to sleep there. Really looking forward to it getting more regular! x

How did this work?

im seeing msgs away back from august?

Hi @mesie yes you will see from the beginning of the thread to the current message. Welcome to the thread!

Yes I think that’s it @Catconfusion. It’s weird because I’m kind of in that limbo period where it’s too early for monitoring, my next MW appointment isn’t for 7 weeks, the MW did say they do go quiet some days so not sure I feel like I could really call her and tbh there’s not really anything they’ll could do at this stage if anything was wrong. Just got to try and be more level-headed, I’m normally really good at keeping cool but not with this!

@bananamonkey it’s totally understandable. You’ve been through a lot and the thought of something going wrong this late on is horrific. Would you consider a private scan in the meantime just for reassurance? I have 6 weeks until my first growth scan due to age and that’s bad enough. The chances of something going wrong at this stage are tiny but it’s still tough! Xx

Hi ladies! How are we? @Catconfusion @bananamonkey @sadtoday21

I had my 22 week midwife app today and got to hear the baby’s heartbeat which was lovely!

Hey @kiki061190 Arrrh that’s lovely. It’s so reassuring to hear it.

I had physio yesterday and my pelvis has been feeling much better. Hopefully it will continue. They gave me a much better tummy support band with Velcro to adjust so much better than the first band. Also went through birthing positions that won’t put pressure on my hip. I’m still not convinced about natural birth for me. How is everyone else? Xx

@Catconfusion It was super lovely. It’s great you’re getting good care for your hip. I think if you would prefer a section then that’s your choice! Everyone should have the right to choose. My bump is measuring right for 22 weeks so I’m happy. How’s the movement coming on?

@sarmum14 massive congratulations!! I’m so pleased for you and happy you are doing so well ❤️.

Hey @Kiki061190 that’s wonderful about hearing the hb today! I had my 26 week midwife appt today and also listened in and was measuring 26 cm too. I haven’t bought anything else for baby boy, except one fleece sleep suit with bear ears! Too cute. It was the first outfit I ever bought! But not really sure whether to buy newborn or 0-3, especially since baby boy will be born in March when it could be cold or warm. How about you? Have you bought anything else? Great to hear you are having regular movement, I find it’s the only thing that calms me down!

@bananamonkey sorry to hear you had some slow movement days, I know how worrying it can be. Hope you are doing alright now and baby is squirming around again! They do seem to hide sometimes for a little while.

@Catconfusion exciting to be thinking about birth already and agree that it should be your choice. I personally probably would be more scared if a c section than vaginal birth, but that might be only because I haven’t had either and don’t know any better 🙄. I think I want to try to do the midwife unit without epidural, if I’m lucky enough to have a choice. Or maybe water birth. But mainly anything to get baby here safely. I’m supposed to sign up for antenatal classes soon too but have been putting it off. Have you thought about this yet?

Hey @Kiki061190 the movements are lovely and regular now thanks. DH still can’t feel but they are strong. I’ve been feeling them up under my ribs so he must sometimes be head down. Glad bump is measuring spot on. I dread to think what mine is measuring as it’s huge. We saw DHs parents last night and they were a little shocked at how big it is as they haven’t seen us in a few weeks. I do love my bump but it seems unnaturally large or 22 weeks. I have the midwife on 31st Dec so I’ll ask her. Regarding birth in my area c section can be chosen just because it’s preferred. I’m hoping to get more clarity on this at my 28 week appointment. xx

@sadtoday21 I think most people are scared on c sections as opposed to natural birth. The risks of both are about the same though seem exaggerated for c section and reduced for natural birth. I would love a natural birth in water but because of my age I need to be hooked up to monitors so it’s not possible. Apparently ladies over 40 are three times more likely to need an emergency c section because labour won’t progress which would be awful. I guess I feel like planning for it will lower that risk and lessen the strain on my hips. We have booked antenatal in February. The nhs ones have been scrapped in our area and private ones expensive but we found a good group for £120. It would be worth you booking now for maybe after Christmas if you can! xx

@sadtoday21 I have been unable to resist all the cute little outfits but have promised myself I’m going to calm down until February and look at what I have left to buy then. I also quite fancy a water birth, they seem quite relaxing for the baby. My next app is at 28 weeks so I’ll wait and see what they say then. Hoping it is possible!

@Catconfusion It’s funny how they move around into different positions. I had little one kicking my tummy late at night last night but she had been quite hidden all day. I’m starting to pop now, it’s slow but I defo look more like a pregnant woman now. Starting to love having a little bump. It’ll be so exciting when your DH can feel the kicks ☺️

It’s so hard to resist @Kiki061190 but we’re going to stop for now too. I’d definitely go for a water birth if you can. I’ve heard nothing but good things about them. I love being in water so gutted I can’t go for it. Xx

Thanks ladies, movements are pretty regular again now, although the lovely swishing feelings have ended and it's proper kicks now. Had my DD in my bed last night so was awake a lot and realised baby is pretty active at night, they are tag-teaming me already, one kicking me in the front and one in the back! I'm in 2 minds about whether to have any private scans now, if the movements keep consistent then I think I'll be OK but we'll see.

Started working out my mat leave at work yesterday and got the form to register her on the nursery waiting list so things are feeling a bit more real! I've been so wrapped up in pregnancy, MC and TTC this year and I need to start thinking about there being an actual baby soon.

So lovely to read about the baby outfits, they are so cute! And yay for hearing the heartbeats!

I think I'd opt for a section in your shoes as well @Catconfusion, I can't imagine being hooked up to monitors is conducive to a straightforward birth and if there is a higher risk of emergency CS anyway then elective would surely be much better. I had a water birth @Kiki061190 and can't recommend it enough, I'm hoping for the same this time. I'm also going to do a Hypnobirthing refresher course and rent a TENS machine again. The MW suggested a home birth which is appealing in a lot of ways but I need to think more about it, DH didn't seem keen when I mentioned it.

My bump is huge, I look about 7 months gone, god knows what I'm measuring! I measured big last time but DD was less than 7lbs, just super long. I'm also tall with a long body.

@Amanda81 how did your appointment on Monday go? Did they book you in for a c-section? Thinking of you Xxx.

@Catconfusion in your case I would probably also opt for an ELCS, I would rather plan it then have to do an emergency one. My DH can't really feel the kicks either yet - he has once or twice, but he doesn't have enough patience to sit there long enough to really feel it. I also think with AP its not as visible to the outside as it would be otherwise. I can sometimes see my tummy move, but its very quick and I can't see limbs or anything like that. Great that you signed up for some courses in February, I need to get on it!

@Kiki061190 I don't think they will go over birthing options at your 28 week appt, unless you ask specifically (I just had mine a bit earlier as 27 weeks this Thursday). They said they usually discuss birthing plans etc. at 31 or 36 weeks and you can tour the hospital from 36 weeks too. I like the idea of being in the water before giving birth to manage the pain, but not the idea of actually giving birth in the water, if that makes sense? But I'm always curious to hear about other's experiences, like @bananamonkey, to learn more what it is really like. It's great you are finally starting to pop!

Is anyone doing a babymoon in the second trimester? I'm thinking about going somewhere local in UK with DH for new year's. Just looking to do a short, romantic getaway in the countryside that is low key, maybe rent a cottage somewhere. Do you ladies have any recommendations on where to go? I don't want to fly and would prefer to take the train (we could rent a car and drive, but I'm a little worried about icy roads and DH doesn't usually drive on this side of the road here). Would like it to be no more than 3 hours or so from London. Any thoughts? Just need to do something special as we will be spending holidays all alone here without any family and feeling a bit down about our lack of any plans or festive spirit.

Well, test results from my appointment yesterday came back as anemic :(. I figured, since I used to have terrible anemia for years and was/am a recovering vegetarian. I know I just have to take an iron supplement now and its very common in pregnancy, so not really the end of the world, but I do feel worried that I have let baby down somehow with poor eating habits. I just struggle with eating a lot of meat in my diet. Also explains why I am now feeling so tired and terrible all of the sudden...literally all I want to do is sleep! I've been helping DH with some of his work on top of my own and it just all feels a bit much. Just want to curl up in a ball and stop doing anything!

Oh @sadtoday21 that sounds tough. Get the supplements down you and take good care of yourself. Don't think twice about your eating habits are, a lot of society today are vegetarian, vegan etc and by taking the additional supplements all will be absolutely fine. Try not to do too much as well.

As for me, I've had a gruelling 3 days. Went for my appointment on Monday and it turns out my BP was sky-high (182/95). It was straight to triage where I spent most of the day being monitored. Bloods and urine was clear, and was released on the basis that my BP would be checked the following day by the community MW. The community MW came round yesterday and my BP was super high again and there was a small trace of protein in my urine...back to triage for me. BP wouldn't go down and Bloods and urine have not come back satisfactory, so am now medicated for hypertension and am being monitored for onset preeclampsia as I've had other symptoms and my urine has traces. They did give me a CS date which was the 20th December when I would be spot on 39 weeks. However, discussions at the hospital today was very much this may change during the next few days. Back to the hospital on Friday for further monitoring to see how I am responding to the medication.

Scary how things can change over a couple of days!

@Amanda81 that sounds like a nightmare! I'm so sorry you are going through this right now, but its good that they caught it and you are on medication now. Are you feeling ok? I know BP can sometimes be really high without any other signs. The good news is that you are being closely monitored and they will definitely move the c-section up if you need it sooner. You've come so far already, a few days earlier won't make any difference now and baby girl will be here soon! I can't believe it! Hope you take good care of yourself and rest as much as possible. Xxx

Hey @sadtoday21 try not to think it’s anything you’ve done. As you say anaemia is really common in pregnancy. I can understand it’s upsetting to find anything wrong no matter how serious. Could you take some time off for rest and to let the supplements work? I hope you’re feeling better soon. Xx

I’m so sorry @Amanda81 that sounds scary. It’s great they’re taking such good care of you and monitoring you so closely. Wow so within the next week she will be here. That’s amazing. It sounds like they won’t hesitate in bringing that date forwards if need be. I’ll be thinking of you during this time and hoping all ok. Looking forward to hearing news! Xx

Please don't feel bad @Sadtoday21, as you say it's really common in pregnancy, your body has a lot more blood and is working really hard right now so you just need a little top up. I've been anaemic on and off a lot of my adult life both as a veggie and not, it's just one of those things. Try to get some rest too x

That sounds tough and worrying @Amanda81, hope you're feeling OK and taking it easy. Sounds like they're taking care you you and baby snuggles are so close now! x

Thank you for your kind words @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @bananamonkey - I've slept for most of the day, but still don't feel 100%. Fingers crossed for lower BP tomorrow and that all is starting to improve. I have a feeling it isn't...but that could be me over-thinking. 38 weeks tomorrow, the end is in sight.

I finally purchased a pair of shoes that I can just slip on and off. Don't know why I've left it so long, but I couldn't bend over my middle anymore 😂😂 and now that a C section is booked, I have a feeling bending won't be on the cards for a while after she is here.

How are you all? Hope you guys are doing well. Xx

@Amanda81 I have everything crossed for you that the BP is low tomorrow! Good that you are resting today, but sorry you are not feeling 100%. I would trust your instinct and say that if you aren't feeling well, probably best to expect that they will want to do the c-section sooner than later. Have you researched c-sections and are you comfortable with the idea of it now? Baby cuddles are imminent! Just keep thinking about that and know we are all here to support you Xxx.

Thanks @Catconfusion and @bananamonkey, it helped me a lot to read your messages. I picked up the iron tablets today and will take one tonight, so hopefully will be feeling better soon. I know its a really minor issue in the grand scheme of things, so I'll just try to take it easier until I'm back to normal. BTW, the third trimester is crazy! I still have a week to go until I get there, but already feeling much more pregnant than ever before. Bump is larger now (how do I possibly shave anymore?) and baby is kicking often and I love feeling him squirming around. It feels good to feel "more pregnant" again, the second tri was a little disconcerting for me tbh, especially the first half. Only one more week until the 4d scan, hope baby is growing well! How are you ladies doing?

Arh @Amanda81 I bet you’re exhausted. I hope they just do it at this stage to prevent any more worry. I’ll be thinking of you. Good tip about the shoes. I’m already struggling to bend. Mainly due to hips. Bump is big. I did a rough measurement from pelvis to top of uterus and it’s 25cm at 22 weeks. Hopefully it will slow down a bit now. Let us know how you get on! Xx

Hey @sadtoday21 great you’re feeling regular movement. Hopefully the iron tablets will help with energy levels. Wow one week to third trimester and 4D scan. That’s great news. Hopefully anxiety levels will be more manageable with the increased movement patterns. I bet you can’t wait to see baby boys face!

As for me, I had my whooping cough jab on Tuesday and I’ve not felt very well since. Mainly flu like symptoms with muscle aches and a sore throat. Might be a coincidence but feeling quite rough. Baby is kicking away so that’s been nice to feel. I’m just resting up and getting plenty of fluids. All I’ve managed to do today is go out and vote with DH. Hopefully a good nights sleep will knock it on the head! Xx

Hey, I'm around 7 weeks pregnant after losing my 5th baby in October. Stressed to high heaven and on occasion I've had some very pale pink mucus when I've wiped, doesn't last long but has happened 3 times in the last 8 days :/ has this happened to anyone else?

@Amanda81 how is your bp today? Are you feeling any better? Hope you are doing ok xx.

I think it’s normal not to feel great after whooping cough jab, but hope you feel better soon @Catconfusion!

As for me, I’m not feeling great either all of the sudden. Had extreme fatigue last night, so tired I could barely get up and cook myself something to eat. Slept for about 10 hours late this morning and then when I woke up and went downstairs I had a bad dizzy spell (suddenly nauseous and like I was going to pass out so quickly sat down and drank some oj with the iron tablets). I took my bp and its 95/61 - is this too low? I'm worried that the low bp + confirmed anemia is what's making me feel so terrible. And also seem to have caught a slight cold. Should I call the midwife or just try to rest today? I have a good idea that they will say the low bp/anemia caused this and that I should eat and rest, but not sure whether this could be anything more worrying than that.