Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

999 replies

sadtoday21 · 10/08/2019 14:07

Starting a new thread for all of us that find ourselves pregnant again after one or more heartbreaking losses. I know it is really hard to join a pregnancy thread after miscarriage and we all fear the worst will happen again, but let's go on this journey together and hold hands along the way.

This is a safe place for all the ladies on the first pregnancy missed miscarriage thread and for any newcomers who want to join - you are all most welcome! All of the ladies on here have suffered one or more miscarriages and most of us have had particularly difficult losses, such as mmc and other complications. You don't need to be pregnant again to join - you are also most welcome if you have had a loss and are trying again. But we will be sharing scan photos and details of the new pregnancies, in case anyone might find that to be triggering.

Tagging @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @Kiki061190 @3204ECL @Babypending @Ginmonkey84 @MrsMGE and please add anyone else I may have left off. Without further ado, let's start the roll call.

About me: Age 31, trying for my first baby. Previous mmc at 12 weeks in February (hb stopped at 9+4), this turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy and I was monitored by CX hospital for three months. CP in March.

Now 9 weeks, EDD in March, if I make it that long. Oscillating between hope and extreme anxiety every day!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
26
Rubyroost · 02/12/2019 22:27

Ha thanks, though it was me who ended up losing my rag and shouting after he was unbelievably leary. It's a tyre place so their only job is to take wheels off and on again. I though the first time was just a silly mistake, never expected it to happen again!

Like I say I didn't have this pattern that people speak of with my last one and this one, well its bloody non stop in comparison so hasn't given me cause for worry, the pattern is constantly at it! My current nearly two year old is pretty chilled and placid, so I'm hoping it doesn't mean that this one is going to be some kind of active maniac once out my womb. 😳

Regarding day time, I think as well as not noticing because you're busy and perhaps on your feet at work, the movement tends to lull them to sleep (or that's what I read anyway) so sometimes it's not til you sit down and relax that you feel or notice them moving again.

Catconfusion · 03/12/2019 06:45

@sadtoday21 just from what my midwife said it seemed like a sensible timeframe for the stage I’m at. I have to say though I’m feeling near constant flutters. It’s great you’re getting into a routine and the kicks are visible from the outside. I can’t wait for DH to feel them. He tried last night but only I could feel it. It’s so difficult because every baby is different but I’m sure you’ll start to feel more and more in the weeks leading up to your scan. Then if you’re feeling significantly less then normal you’ll know when to get checked out. Xx

Hey @Rubyroost good to see you here. The tyre guy is an idiot. It sounds like to did the right thing to have a go. Xx

Rubyroost · 03/12/2019 09:32

Ha thanks, I feel a bit like an imposter so I'm going to nip back to the other group. Good luck to all you lovely ladies on here x

Catconfusion · 03/12/2019 12:27

Hey @Rubyroost not at all. Join in whenever you like. Always nice to chat to you! Xx

Catconfusion · 06/12/2019 07:49

Hey @sadtoday21 how did the consultant appointment go? Hope you got some clarity on movements.

@Kiki061190 how’s that bump growing? I bet it’s popping more and more each day.

@Amanda81 not long now until you meet your little girl. How are you feeling?

@bananamonkey has knowing the sex helped with the anxiety? I’m certainly feeling less worried for now.

As for me I’m coming up to 22 weeks. Movements have been a little weaker over the last few days but consistently there so not too worried. It feels like he’s in a different position as I’m feeling flutters on the opposite side. I’m loving feeling him move though.

How’s everyone feeling now we know the sex of our babies? I’m over the moon we’re having a little boy. However yesterday I had a bit of a panic about possibly never having a mother daughter relationship as this might be our only child. It was weird as up until then I’ve not really thought about it. I don’t have a good relationship with my mum and suddenly thought about how I may never have a female to female bond with my own child. DH has also been talking lots about going to watch football together and getting him into sports and I’m pleased they will have that time. It’s just got me thinking about my relationship with him and what it might be like. Hopefully we’ll both be close to him in different ways. I already love him more than anything.

I’m so happy and pleased to have our healthy boy so it’s not disappointment. I guess hormones stir up strange emotions. Has anyone else had feelings like this? I know rationally each baby is a little soul regardless of sex and I’m just pleased to be becoming a Mum but it was a strange wave of feelings.

Have a lovely weekend everyone! Xx

Kiki061190 · 06/12/2019 07:57

@Catconfusion Hey! Happy Friday! My bump is growing steadily but nobody can actually tell I’m pregnant to look at me, I have to actually tell them. Can’t wait for it to be obvious. How is yours growing? I’m delighted to be having a daughter, I can’t wait to meet her! I’m 21+1 today and I honestly can’t believe how far we have came along as a group. I completely understand your anxiety!!

Catconfusion · 06/12/2019 08:52

@Kiki061190 I’m sure your bump will pop soon. Baby will be doing a lot of growing over the coming weeks. I can imagine it’s a little frustrating to keep telling people. Mine is huge and very in the front which seems typical for boys. With me people think I’m close to my due date so keep explaining it’s a few months off.

It is amazing we’re all becoming Mums in the next 4 months after all we went through. I’m so pleased it happened so close together for us all. We need a newborn baby thread.

I think for me it’s really sinking in. I’m starting to worry about all kinds of stuff like being a good parent. Bringing baby boy up to be kind and a good person. Also what will happen if we die young. Our parents are getting elderly and we’re not close to siblings so not sure who he would go to. Guess we need to sort out a will. Parenthood is exciting but a little scary too.

I just felt overwhelmed yesterday when I started thinking about it. I’m much calmer today and just so grateful it’s happening. Baby boy is already very much loved. Xx

Kiki061190 · 06/12/2019 10:24

Oh @Catconfusion it is totally scary. So much to think about, we’ll all soon be responsible for a child until it’s an adult. Crazy!

I also forgot to say earlier, I think my little one has changed position and was less active for 3 days there but seems back on track today. It’s weird how they can do that!

sadtoday21 · 06/12/2019 10:27

Thanks @Catconfusion for asking about me! The consultant appointment was a bit rubbish, 3 hours waiting around for them to just check blood pressure, urine, hb, and tell me I need to be monitored after labour for the molar thing. The consultant couldn't answer any of my questions about movement and wasn't reassuring at all - just said to "call the midwife number if you are ever unsure." Not helpful, I already know that! Very much a waste of time.

26+1 today and can't wait for third trimester to begin. The good thing is baby seems to be a bit more active these days, going from 10 to 20 kicks a session 5-6 times a day. He now seems to move sometimes even when I don't eat or do anything to prompt it. But he still goes quiet when I'm stressed or really busy, it seems. So he was active all day yesterday but quieter at night and I had to wait until 1 am to make sure he did at least 10 kicks. But he woke me up this morning with a few kicks as well.

Now I'm just wondering about what the third trimester is like, anyone know? I've noticed that my body feels a bit different towards the end of the second tri, nothing bad at all, just a few slight twinges in my boobs and constipation that remind me of first tri and my skin finally clearing up to normal. AND major insomnia! For some reason, I just don't sleep anymore. It's not because I'm uncomfortable or that large even (bump still seems manageable) its just that I am awake. All the time. Very weird. I'm not complaining at all because I've pretty much felt physically fine this whole time, but I'm just observing it and interested to know what other changes will happen next.

@Kiki061190 don't worry about the small bump, I still have to tell people I'm pregnant too! My bump is measuring the right size for my dates, but people are idiots. And when I go to the hospital I still feel like all the other women are much much larger than me (of the 30 women there yesterday there was only one who had a smaller bump!). I don't know if they were further along than me or not, but it always feels like I'm the smallest bump in the room. I want to know when we will all be really large and it will be hard to move? 30 weeks? Anyway, I'm sure your bump is perfect! How are you feeling otherwise?

@Catconfusion I think its totally normal to feel that way, I definitely would in your position. I thought I wanted a girl because of pressure from my in-laws, but as soon as I found out I was having a boy I realised that was really what I wanted all along and nothing else. Now all I want is this little baby boy. But I do hope to still have a sister for him at some time down the road, so I understand what you mean, it would be nice to have one of each. I think also given your relationship with your mum its normal to want to have that mother daughter bonding experience. Don't worry about feeling this way, its partly the hormones and the stress of pregnancy, and it doesn't mean you love your little boy any less. I know you are going to be a really great mum and you will find special ways to bond that are different and unique.

@Amanda81 when is your exact due date, I want to count down the days! How is baby girl doing? Any updates on the c-section? How are you feeling? Thinking of you! Xxx

@bananamonkey how are you doing? Have you thought at all about visitors after birth and when they should come? Our family has already started asking me about flights/hotels, etc. and its a bit overwhelming TBH. They all have to spend thousands of pounds to come because they are so far away, so need to book early, but I worry about making plans at this stage and not sure yet whether I want family around right after birth. As a second time mum, what do you recommend?

OP posts:
bananamonkey · 06/12/2019 12:50

Thanks @Catconfusion the scan helped massively but now I’m having a few quiet days of movement so obviously stressing out again, googling horrible things at 3am this morning. Hoping it’ll pass soon, trying some cold Diet Coke now to see if it prompts anything. Have my work Christmas party tonight, have no idea what I’m going to wear but hopefully it’ll keep my mind busy.

@sadtoday21 sorry your consultant appointment was a bit crap. With visitors I think it depends on a variety of factors, like how well the birth goes, how you are recovering, what your relationships are like, how helpful they are and whether they’re staying with you. My family are a few hours away so my Mum did come and stay for a few days but then it got a bit much and DH’s paternity leave was only 2 weeks, that time is super precious to enjoy just the three of you. Everyone else was local so could just pop in for a couple of hours. I much preferred it when my mum came a few weeks later when DH was back at work. Also depends on if you’re breastfeeding, those first weeks are pretty tough and it took me a while to master more discreet feeding once it was established properly. It does get easier though!

Amanda81 · 06/12/2019 15:57

Hey everyone...nice to hear from you all. I'm 37 weeks today and this week has been super nice with taking things a little easier. I've taken the opportunity to sleep a lot and unashamedly say I've only been up for 3 hours and now I'm back on the sofa in my PJ's! I'm looking forward to Monday (scan and consultant appointment). We should be given a date for the C section. I can still feel little one is bum down, but she has moved down (engaged?) a little which has given me some relief from the heartburn. The emotions are coming on pretty heavy now. I keep picturing her being here and then turn out to be in floods of tears. The other day I almost choked on my lunch as my DH said 'just think, we will be parents in a couple of weeks' I almost choked on my tears 😭

22 weeks @Catconfusion ! So nice to hear that you are feeling lots of movement. I think the hormones can play tricks with us and make us query things like you are. Totally natural to be thinking about the 'what ifs' though, and I do think it makes you think back to your experience of being a daughter and how your mum was with you. I really did hope my LO was going to be a girl...given my family genetics. If mine was to be a boy I would have constantly been worrying about the possibility of having an ill child, even though I have the all clear (well, population risk!). Please don't worry that you are having these thoughts, it really doesn't mean anything about your relationship with your little boy. Probably does mean that there may be some underlying and unresolved feelings about your relationship with your mum...but you have more important things to focus on right now. Put it to one side for now, and just picture you, your DH and your little boy kicking a ball around in the park and feeding the ducks 🦆

I still feel quite small too @Kiki061190 - I had the MW on Wednesday this week and they do checks on weight once you get beyond 36 weeks. I've put on 1 stone 3 lbs altogether. The MW wasn't worried and said all perfectly normal. Obviously I have a bump, but still people miss it if I'm wearing a dark baggy top. Have you started wearing clothes that accentuate your growing bump? That's what I did in the end.

My actual due date is the 27th December @sadtoday21. The MW said that they will probably schedule in the CS (if she doesn't turn) for either the 38/39th week stage...which could be anywhere from Friday 13th! 😮 The third trimester has been the hardest for me (sorry to be gloomy). I've had carpal tunnel, bad but not severe PGP, heartburn, constipation and insomnia. It's also hard having to slow down and not been able to go full pelt at things like I normally would. Also not been able to tie your shoelaces without acid reflux has been quite gross. But...it's only 13 weeks of it, and some women get really bad symptoms and have to stay in hospital...so I'll take my experience as a positive one. Also, regarding movement. I've had days where she has moved less (but I've still felt her) and it has panicked me...but I've never felt the need to go in to get checked over. It's come close. Keep doing what you are doing and monitoring baby. You are doing great!

Some really good tips there @bananamonkey - thank you for sharing. My family live 5 hours away and would probably need to stay over. The though of which just fills me with anxiety as I really want to get to grips with breastfeeding without the stress. I think I can hold them back from visiting for a while, but my DH's family are 3 hours away and they will most likely pop over for a day and won't need to stay over. Google is the worst. It can give you a positive and negative outcome for any scenario. I googled hiccups at 35/36 weeks recently and it pretty much said that there might be a problem with the cord. I asked my MW, and she said yep, perfectly normal to have hiccups and that some babies come out of the womb with hiccups. Try not to google. Enjoy your Xmas party and I'm sure what ever you end up wearing you will be positively glowing!

sadtoday21 · 07/12/2019 21:57

Wow @Amanda81 its hard to believe you could be meeting her next week! You must be so excited/nervous. Definitely keep us posted on what happens after Monday. Thanks also for your honesty about the third tri, I can feel myself slowing down a bit more now too, but honestly not sure what to expect. Mostly I've just googled everything I can think of relating to pregnancy and now I'm just obsessing about the long wait. I think I need a new milestone to work towards - what's a good one? Or rather what is the next one? Also, random question, do you have an outfit picked out to take baby girl home in?

Thanks @bananamonkey that seems like solid advice! My family and in-laws keep asking about how when they should come/how long they should stay. I have no idea what to say and its not like I can send them back across the pond if it all gets too much (8 hr+ transatlantic flight for all of them). How many weeks do you need alone with baby and DH before you want visitors? I don't think any of them will actually be helpful, but of course it would be lovely for them to see the baby all the same.

How are you ladies holding up @Catconfusion and @Kiki061190?

OP posts:
sarmum14 · 07/12/2019 22:07

Hi all, it's nice to see so familiar faces here and hear all the happy news! Just wanted to say a quick hi 👋🏽

sadtoday21 · 07/12/2019 22:54

Hey @sarmum14 great to hear from you!! How are you doing these days? Hope you are keeping well Xxx.

OP posts:
sarmum14 · 07/12/2019 23:06

@sadtoday21 v well thank you. 10 wks pregnant so following behind lots of you. Congrats on your lovely news!!! How're you doing? I've been glancing over some previous posts in this thread and think I am where some of you were, anxiety-wise, at this stage. Feeling well and had a private scan at 8wks which was good and have one referred by midwife next week so fingers crossed. Anyway, sending love to you all. Xxx

Amanda81 · 08/12/2019 09:55

Wonderful news @sarmum14 and it's so nice to hear from you and that all is going so well. Congratulations! Xx

Amanda81 · 08/12/2019 10:03

Hey @sadtoday21 - I had a milestone at 28 weeks as I had the GTT test and the 4D scan. You then enter the 3rd trimester and I found that the movements became more affirmed and these occupied me. To be honest although the third trimester has been difficult for me it has flown by, by far the quickest trimester. We had a lot of house prep to do within this time, which probably helped pass the time. Since I've slowed down time has started to slow a little, but I think I'm a little grateful for that feeling of slowing as it is all getting overwhelming. I haven't really sorted her a going home outfit, I plan to keep her in baby grows for the first few weeks. I have got a lovely blanket that my mum has knitted for her, which will figure quite a lot in her first photos. Oddly it's a rainbow type pattern (very subtle), I say oddly as my mum doesn't know about the sentiment about rainbow babies and when she gave it me I explained the link and the common term used amongst those who have lost. What milestones do you have planned? X

allthesharks · 08/12/2019 10:28

Hello, could I join this thread?

I had a miscarriage on the 30th October at 7 weeks. I'm pregnant again now without having a period in between so I'm not certain of dates but I estimate around 5 weeks. I have two children from my previous marriage who were both born premature, so I always assumed I'd have problems at that end of the pregnancy, but didn't think I'd have problems so early. My partner previously had chemo and from a recent semen analysis he was told he had 0% normal morphology and that it's highly unlikely he'd conceive naturally. We started trying and I got pregnant immediately. Then I got pregnant immediately after the miscarriage so conception doesn't seem to be a problem, however we don't know if the poor morphology was the cause of the miscarriage.

I have estimated when I'll be 7+3 which is when I miscarried before and it'll be Christmas Eve. I'm trying to stay positive but until we're past that point I feel like it's not really happening.

Catconfusion · 08/12/2019 10:39

Yay @sarmum14 so great to hear from you. I’m so pleased you found us and am really happy for you. Your chances are fantastic if 8 week scan was good. I’ve got everything crossed for you. Keep us posted on how you are. What a lovely Christmas present! Xx

@sadtoday21 I’m so sorry your consultant was rubbish. You’d think there would be some standard advice regarding movement. I guess it’s so individual it’s difficult to say what’s normal or not but still some guidance would be good. Glad they will keep an eye on you post birth. My friend who had the pm was monitored and it was fine, no further issues.

Thank you so much for your kind words. It was such a weird day. I’ve felt fine ever since. There is no use worrying about the future. Life can be tough and there’s no way of predicting what parenthood will be like. Overall I’m sure it will be amazing despite any struggles so I’m just keeping focused on that. We love our little boy and just can’t wait for it. Maybe he will be our only child and that’s completely ok because I’m just grateful it’s happening Xx

@bananamonkey I completely feel your pain. I had a couple of slow days with movement. We went to London for a comedy and music concert. Every time the music started baby was kicking away so I’m so much more reassured now. Funny how it can slow up and speed up. Guess it’s down to position. How are the movements now? Xx

I’m so excited for you @amanda81 and pleased you’re nearly there. I can imagine you’re tired. Not long now though and your little girl will be here. Her blanket sounds beautiful. DHs mum has made something similar for us without realising the significance of rainbow.

I can completely understand why there was relief at having a girl after going through so much and worrying about the genetic issues.

Thanks for your kind words too. It must have been hormones as I’ve felt a lot better since. I think you’re right, it has a lot to do with the troubles I have with my mum and maybe trying to put it right through my own child. I’ve asked my Mum to help with the nursery so maybe that will help things. Parenthood definitely stirs up and issues with your own parents. Xx

So I’ve had a busy couple of days. We had a lovely festive trip to London and although it was knackering I’m glad we went. I also saw my orthopaedic consultant on Saturday. He’s told me he doesn’t think a natural birth would bring my hip replacement forwards. Although finding a comfortable birthing position might be tricky. He has said he thinks the recovery will be more difficult and I will probably need to keep up physio but has said it’s a personal decision. I’m still leaning towards a c section. I just feel like with my hips there’s a bit more uncertainty and when we bring age into the mix, it may be the safer option.

Have a lovely weekend everyone! Xx

Catconfusion · 08/12/2019 10:44

Welcome @allthesharks and I’m so sorry for your loss. Also it sounds like you and DH have been through a lot. I guess time will only tell how this baby progresses. It’s such unfortunate timing to get to that stage at Christmas. Will you have an early reassurance scan before then or wait and see how things progress? Fingers crossed for you!

My ex’s Dad had testicular cancer and was told he wouldn’t have another child due to the treatment. They fell pregnant quickly with my ex’s sister. Miracles do happen and it’s amazing how nature will find a way! Xx

Kiki061190 · 08/12/2019 17:03

@sadtoday21 Hi there! I’ve had such a busy week I’m just sitting down to catch up. How are you feeling anxiety wise? Have you bought any more things for baby boy?

@Catconfusion How has movement been? My OH felt kicks last night for the first time! He had felt a little tiny kick once beige but the movement is getting nice and strong now. Absolutely delighted! A section may be the best option for you as you have issue with your hips. Have you bought any more things for baby?

Catconfusion · 08/12/2019 17:43

Hey @Kiki061190 it slowed a little which was a little worrying but it’s back again now. Amazing that yours can be felt through your tummy. I think with the AP it will be a while before I get to that point.

Yes a section is looking most sensible. I’m hoping my obstetric doctor agrees when I see her at 28 weeks.

I’ve not bought anything else. We’re trying to hold out for the sales now and save some money. How about you? Xx

Kiki061190 · 08/12/2019 18:17

@Catconfusion It’s so crazy feeling them now! I’m guessing she’s getting bigger and bigger, she’s certainly a wriggler. Has feeling movement made you less anxious? I feel her every hour almost now unless she’s napping so I feel a sense of relaxation about everything just now. Have just booked in a 4d scan for the last week in January. Looking forward to seeing her again.

We have actually bought quite a lot now, we’ve had some good deals and will defo take advantage of the sales. I think the next big thing is to buy the furniture which is exciting! Our pram came Thursday and we have the bedside crib too. I got some sheets for it today and some of those grow bags for the baby to sleep in? So sweet!

Catconfusion · 08/12/2019 20:41

Yes @Kiki061190 they are about 30cm long at this point so getting big. Definitely feeling less anxious. It’s so nice to not need a scan for reassurance but just wait for the kicks. A 4D scan sounds like a lovely idea. We can’t really afford it but luckily have our nhs growth scan a few weeks after Christmas. Time seems to be moving quickly now! Xx

bananamonkey · 08/12/2019 21:16

Just popping in briefly to say hope everyone had good weekends, sorry haven’t had chance to read everything but congratulations @sarmum14! So great to “see” you over here, it’s great you’ve had a good early scan, not long till your next one!

Welcome @allthesharks, seems like you’ve come a long way already, it’s all about those little milestones x

After 2 days of complete silence baby jalapeño got moving again, it’s so hard not to think the worst every time this happens! They like to keep us on our toes. She’s come back dancing with proper kicks now as well as flutters which is crazy but lovely, I thought it was just wind bubbles but they’re very definite thumps. Also managed to get through a whole weekend with my mum without revealing the sex 🤣