Wild toddler kicked out of ballet class

[Tayebanks]

I’m really unsure if I’m doing something wrong DD is 2 (28m) and is very wild and energetic, she rarely listens to me outside of the house. We’re not a tantrum family she rarely has them she just prefers do her own thing. Her behaviour has caused me a lot of problems in public with people staring making me feel uncomfortable and because she’s also shy when people stare it makes her cry. She loves gymnastics class and we’ve never had any issues, she’s also very well behaved at nursery it’s just ballet class. We’ve been going for 2 terms now and she seems to enjoy it but recently she’d been getting very distracted preferring to play with the props the teacher leaves in reach than actually participate. I got a text message from the teacher and it made my mood feel dull because I’m actually proud of her improvement of being around new faces and trying her best to be involved but now I feel like that’s not the case. The problem is literally just her getting distracted because she likes to touch everything I do get involved and redirect her but I feel like she doesn’t feel involved. Also when she’s doing her side quests it’s not distracting the rest of the class at all. Do I pull her from ballet or stick it out?

So she's not actually been kicked out?

Honestly as much as you think she isn't distracting anyone it sounds like she is and she's obviously not enjoying it so yes I would take her out of the class.

She's 2! I think 2 structured activities is way too much at that age. A 2 year old should be playing and exploring. It sounds like shes bang on where I'd expect a 2 year old to be.

Dd did ballet for 14 years. Her school wouldn't even consider letting them start until they're 4. She tried swimming lessons at 3.5 and I was asked to remove her (all very polite and framed as she wasn't getting anything out of it). She re-started at 4 and was ready to listen to the teacher and went on to swim competitively at national level.

I'd suggest pulling her and trying again in a year or so.

Sounds like she is a bit bored there so yes I’d take her out and try something else.
In my experience ballet classes are quite disciplined and can be boring for a lot of children.
She could try something else like a different kind of dance class or a sport

Take her out of classes. I bet she would enjoy a session running around at a local park better.

Don't take it personally OP. It's about finding the right activity (and person running the activity!) for the right child. I'd pull her out and try another class, but don't think of it as a failure or that you're doing something wrong. It's just that some classes suit some children.

My children were wild active toddlers but well behaved at school. They're now teenagers and are all doing really well.

My 2yr old was like that. It sounds too structured. I found a ‘messy play’ type of class, lots of different stations to explore (including a spaghetti pit)! Helped her blow off steam, whilst doing her own thing. Ended with a short sit down to chill, listening to a story with a biscuit/cracker. It was brilliant in also preparing her to get used to sitting down quietly once she had done her own exploring. Don’t worry - she lasted 3 weeks in structured toddler ballet!

She’s not getting anything out of it is she as she’s not ready yet so there’s zero value in taking her for her side. Let alone disruption to teachers/others. She would get more value at a park.

It just sounds like ballet isn’t the right thing for her just now. Are there any other dance classes with less structure than ballet? Even in the very early stages of ballet they work on the discipline which she’s maybe just not ready for

Your 2 year old is doing what 2 year olds do, the issue is you have her in a structured class rather than her behaviour. Gym is a bit different as there is more scope for burning off energy but I'm not sure I would bother putting my toddler in any classes like ballet etc.

She is only 2. She's telling you through her behaviour that ballet is not the activity for her right now. Right now she wants to explore.

Drop ballet and let her have more unstructured time. She can rejoin ballet later.

My wild one was too young really for ballet we persevered for a while but change of teacher who was harsh with her put her off for good we changed schools but she didn’t really enjoy it afterwards, she loved a nature class we signed up for which was craft a story a good walk and hot chocolate all weathers, tumble tots might work for now try her again at about 5 if you want her to do it.
She dose need to learn to listen to you outside the house though. if she’s not going to take her home a few times and see if it changes her behaviour. It will be distracting the other kids that also want to play with the props and are using self control to stop them selves as there not meant to it’s not really fair on them.

‘We’re not a tantrum family’ … you know they no one chooses to be a tantrum family? And it doesn’t reflect on you as a parent or person.

It’s tricky to tell because she joins in and gets involved. But when it comes to partner work the teacher and t/a take a child each and then she’s left with no partner which leads her to do her own thing.

Very few two year olds are ready for structured classes. This isn’t a parenting failure. This is normal.

the two year olds who are compliant enough for structured classes do exist but are not the majority.

take her out.

Super weird to expect a 2 year old to do a structured class without parental support in my view. I can see some would enjoy it but if she doesn't why still go?

When I say not a tantrum family. I mean she doesn’t throw tantrums at all. She just doesn’t listen and does what she wants to do. Both to me are normal for toddlers. I know what it’s like for mums to turn their nose up it makes me feel small and start to doubt if I’m enjoying motherhood. I would never do that. Apologies if it came out that way

Also, if she doesn't listen to you, are you sure she's not having tantrums because of her personality (as is the case for my kids, nothing to do with me) or because you aren't putting in boundaries and ensuring that she does listen to you when you're out and about? Because if you're just letting her do whatever she likes whenever she likes then she's got nothing to have a tantrum about.

So shes not ready to wait her turn yet? (Because she's 2?)

The class isn't right for her. Even children a lit older can struggle to just sit there and watch without some sort of fidgeting

If shes not tantrumming what is she doing in public to make people stare and you feel uncomfortable?

She’s 2…. Just bring her to Tumble Tots or something unstructured.
I’m amazed you think she can just bimble about doing her own thing instead of joining in and you think it’s not distracting the rest of the class, though??
Imagine if they all did this?

Maybe she'll be more of a rugby kind of girl?? Probably too soon to say one way or another but you could try both when she's a bit older.

You don’t need to waste this much energy on a ballet class for a two year old. It’s not for her, which is neither here nor there. It’s not meaningful. Put her in swimming - or nothing. Take her to the woods or the beach or something.

I don’t let her do what she wants. I haven’t for over a year. She just chooses not to listen majority of the time( i could say put it down she won’t listen I’ll take it from her). At her 2 year development I asked the hv if I was doing something wrong she said no. It’s a pushing boundary thing. We used to have tantrums last year but I used to ignore them and now she doesn’t bother to kick up a fuss

You might be onto something 😆

This. Of course it’s distracting for the other kids having her just wandering about and touching everything something… even if the teacher does leave it in reach. Maybe ballet class just isn’t for her yet, and that’s fine.