Wild toddler kicked out of ballet class

[Tayebanks]

I’m really unsure if I’m doing something wrong DD is 2 (28m) and is very wild and energetic, she rarely listens to me outside of the house. We’re not a tantrum family she rarely has them she just prefers do her own thing. Her behaviour has caused me a lot of problems in public with people staring making me feel uncomfortable and because she’s also shy when people stare it makes her cry. She loves gymnastics class and we’ve never had any issues, she’s also very well behaved at nursery it’s just ballet class. We’ve been going for 2 terms now and she seems to enjoy it but recently she’d been getting very distracted preferring to play with the props the teacher leaves in reach than actually participate. I got a text message from the teacher and it made my mood feel dull because I’m actually proud of her improvement of being around new faces and trying her best to be involved but now I feel like that’s not the case. The problem is literally just her getting distracted because she likes to touch everything I do get involved and redirect her but I feel like she doesn’t feel involved. Also when she’s doing her side quests it’s not distracting the rest of the class at all. Do I pull her from ballet or stick it out?

Oh I had this with my DD. I think it was actually the noise which overwhelmed her (music was loud, teacher was loud , the kids were loud) and because it was a class of two year olds, it was super chaotic and random without much structure from week to week. An email went round reminding parents that it was a class and that children who were distracted or unsettled (my DD was surely one of the few it was aimed at) needed to do better. It was a gentle email, but the underlying message was: "get it together"
We left the class, because I realised it wasn't really fair to anyone, and we'll try again in a month when she is 3 and can enter the next class stage which promises a little more structure.
They're still so little OP, if ballet isn't quite right for your DD yet, just give her time and try again in a little while.

This!!! ⬆️

She’s 2!! And only just 2 at that…why would you even think about putting her in structured classes of any kind?? My mind boggles sometimes, it really does!

Pull her out and try something else.

It sounds like you are very self conscious about your DD’s behaviour when she sounds like a normal 2 year old. You used the word wild when your dd doesn’t have tantrums and will happily accept consequences like you taking away an item that she shouldn’t be touching.

You set Dd up for failure by taking her to a class for 2-5 year olds. Most 2 year olds aren’t ready for that kind of structure where as the average 4 year old is likely to follow instructions. If you want dd to do a class then find one that suits her personality. Just because she isn’t ready for classes now, it doesn’t mean that she’ll never be ready.

You’ve got to admire 2 year olds for being themselves and not giving a shit what others think. When she’s older and more vulnerable to peer pressure, you’ll wish that you gave less of a shit about her behaviour right now. If it was antisocial like hurting people then my comments will be different but her neurons are firing like mad and her senses are in peak condition - of course new accessories are more interesting than sitting down and listening to the music.

People will always look at 2 year olds. They’ve forgotten what there’s were like or thinking thank fuck it’s not me in that mum’s shoes right now. Have more faith in the fact that your dd isn’t being antisocial and doing stuff like screaming or hitting out and let people look 👀

Dd started a fun street dance class at 2. The teacher put the smaller children at the back, they danced, but not necessarily the right routine.
We didn't try ballet till she was 6. She stuck it for a couple of years, it was too strict. She stuck with street dance until she was 10 and then ditched it for karate.
If it's not a very relaxed ballet class, I'd try something else.

She’s 2. How much “ballet” are they actually doing? Honestly just stop worrying about it or take her to the park instead. It really doesn’t matter.

I don't know of any 2yos who would do that well in a structured, adult-led class.

Neither of my two would have done any good at a ballet class like you describe. In fact, I think they were pushing 4 before we tried any sort of structured class. Up until then we were doing mums and tots/stay and play type sessions only. They were all free play, and maybe a story at the end, or a craft that they were all "encouraged" to come and do.
Both are in the middle of primary school now, and thriving.

You've described a perfectly normal 2yo. :)

@Tayebanksthere is a HUGE difference between shouting/beating a child and not putting any boundaries in place.

At two they are more than able to be told no firmly yet kindly.

And she is not “literally a baby”. She is not a baby, she is a toddler.

2 to 5 is a ridiculous age range for one class! That means there could be kids who have not long been walking (I had a late starter!) and some that are in school. No wonder the older ones are able to listen better. And what gives with not allocating her a partner? I'd take her out.

Rugby Tots and Little Kickers (football) both have narrower age ranges and welcome girls and boys. Even those who just want to wander around holding the ball.

2 to 5 is way to big. 4/5 year old are in Pre-primary ballet, not in a toddler class!

Eh? My 4 year old has never tantrummed a day in his life. He is very well behaved. Children can go through the process of learning boundaries and what “no” means without being the type of child who flails around on the floor. Some kids tantrum and some don’t.

One thing that stands out to me is that she doesn't have a partner. Why is that? The teacher should ensure that if there is an uneven number of children in the class that she joins with another pair. In fact the teacher should probably pick the partners for the children so that they all get to dance with different people each week, or better still abandon the pairing. How awful to have one child left out. That's bad teaching imo.

Sounds like a normal 2 year old to me. What 2 year old pays attention in ballet class?! My child would also be obsessed with the probs as well as watering off to look around. They haven't got the memo yet about adults wanting them to do shit for no reason. I'm surprised this class is so uptight. My childs tantrums started just before age 3, so there's still time.

I’d try her at mini kickers or something

'She's literally a baby'

She's not a baby any more, is she? She's nearly 2 and a half. She's a toddler and needs to start learning some general boundaries, and that includes listening to what she is told and following instructions, not just doing her own thing. The time to learn is now. She is absolutely not ready for anything as structured as a dance class.

By the way, the 'ballet class' sounds pretty rubbish to me. Having an age range of 2-5 year-olds in one class is ludicrous. You are totally wasting your money on that. I'd take her out of there and wait until after Easter when she'll be three.

Once she's better at listening, copying what other people do, co-operating and following instructions, she'll be able to join in a proper dance class and benefit from it. Then maybe find a different, decent dance school. She might prefer disco or modern rather than ballet anyway.

A ballet class at 2 is ridiculous. Posting with a title saying toddler kicked out of ballet class when there's not mention in the description that she was actually kicked out os also ridiculous.

A child her age is yet to reach the stage of physical development and co-ordination to be able to do gallops in pairs in a dance class. So that could be why the teacher is not expecting her to join in that bit.

At two, some kids aren't ready because they cling to their mum's legs and won't join in, some aren't ready because they want to run around like your daughter does. My daughter was like yours a year ago, we took a break and joined a different dance class this year. It's less structured, she loves it and actually learns the dances too.

What did the teacher say when she text you? Why don’t you try a football class like little kickers or something more sporty to let all her energy out

Sounds great to me 😁

She’s 2. Pull her out. Theres plenty of time when she’s older to try ballet class again.

Everyone is expecting far too much from a 2 year old. I assume you have no older children to compare it with?, but really this is how they are supposed to be. The ballet instructor sounds ignorant of natural child development and should not have embarrassed you by sending that ignorant email.

Be honest, OP, all these fancy hobbies are for your benefit, not your daughter’s: you are living vicariously through her.

Do something more age appropriate and unstructured with her. You can always revisit these activities again once she is a little older.

My two year old was like this when we did ballet classes so I just pulled her out. There were little girls there the same age who were clearly so into it and hanging on the instructors every word. My daughter would be the other side of the room pulling faces in the mirror, hanging off the bars etc. I just accepted that it wasn’t her thing, she needed something a bit more energetic and ‘free’ at that age.

Sorry but this reminded me of DD, who never tantrumed, never wailed or kicked and screamed or anything. I started her at ballet when she was I think 3, tbh she’d shown a slight interest and I thought she’d look cute… she was bored out of her mind, figured out if she said she needed the loo she got a break from it and (we were asked not to watch as it might distract them) the teacher started saying things like “she got a bit distracted / she stopped wanting to participate towards the end”.

After a couple of weeks of this I peeked through the door and the other cute ballerinas were practicing whilst balancing on the back of a chair… my DD was just running up and down the hall like a nutter 🤣🤣🤣

I pulled her from the class after that 😂