Wild toddler kicked out of ballet class

[Tayebanks]

I’m really unsure if I’m doing something wrong DD is 2 (28m) and is very wild and energetic, she rarely listens to me outside of the house. We’re not a tantrum family she rarely has them she just prefers do her own thing. Her behaviour has caused me a lot of problems in public with people staring making me feel uncomfortable and because she’s also shy when people stare it makes her cry. She loves gymnastics class and we’ve never had any issues, she’s also very well behaved at nursery it’s just ballet class. We’ve been going for 2 terms now and she seems to enjoy it but recently she’d been getting very distracted preferring to play with the props the teacher leaves in reach than actually participate. I got a text message from the teacher and it made my mood feel dull because I’m actually proud of her improvement of being around new faces and trying her best to be involved but now I feel like that’s not the case. The problem is literally just her getting distracted because she likes to touch everything I do get involved and redirect her but I feel like she doesn’t feel involved. Also when she’s doing her side quests it’s not distracting the rest of the class at all. Do I pull her from ballet or stick it out?

I don't think anyone has told you to beat and shout at a toddler and it's utterly bizarre that that is your go to thought.

People are suggesting that you give ages appropriate consequences for bad behaviour to ensure your child doesn't grow up to be a little brat who gets her own way and ignores instructions

I think she’s too young for a ballet class. I wouldn’t take my 2 year old to a formal class, she’d just be wondering around doing her own thing for most of it.

And I don’t think this text from the teacher said that the dd was being kicked out

the Op is one for drama and exaggeration

We’re not a tantrum family she rarely has them she just prefers do her own thing.

That sounds like you don't provide boundaries so she isn't learning to cope with a 'no'. Tantrums are the first stage in learning to cope with not always being able to do whatever you want. If you don't provide reasonable boundaries you are letting her down.

My kids are long since grown up (and totally competent adults) but neither of them would have managed a ballet class at 2 years old! At that age I just took them to toddler groups, tumble tots, play dates, the park etc. We didn't do any structured activities until they were about 4.

This was my daughter (now 25!!). We got ‘expelled’ from ballet class when she was nearly 3 for the same thing! She did her own dance, sometimes tried to stand on her head etc! The teacher asked us to come back when she’d maybe started school and learnt some discipline!! I felt a bit offended at the time because she was usually a good girl! She just had her own mind and looking back wasn’t really a ballet dancer! She took up drama class instead and she loved that! Sometimes it’s just not suited. Just so you know, she’s a wonderful adult now, did a degree, got a first and has been living for a couple of years in Australia! We laugh about it now!! Just as long as she’s generally well behaved I wouldn’t worry and find another class. She is still so young to follow instructions for a half hour or so.

Mine were just too young at that age to do anything structured or that didn't include lots of big energy stuff. I was bamboozled when everyone else's sweet little toddlers would sit down for a story or nursery rhymes while mine just wandered off to do their own thing.

We started Rugby at 3 and that was much more successful, although still a bit unruly for the first cous of terms.

I didn't do any classes until my eldest was six. She's so focused at 16 and has done her hobbies for years, no chopping and changing or giving things up. The younger two started earlier than her and are not as focused. But age two is insanely young. The park or a playgroup or a friends house would give her loads more.i really wouldn't be down. She's doing nothing wrong and she isn't wild. Use the saved money for a nice day out for you both.

That could have described me exactly at pre-schooler ballet (I was eventually 'asked to find something else that was a better fit').

I remember it all very clearly - I loved wearing the special outfit but I hated the syrupy patronising ballet teacher who talked to us as if we were all cats rather than people and I was very frustrated that we didn't seem to actually be learning any ballet, just doing a very quick ballet-type warmup and then playing games to music. I was hoping to learn actual moves with French names and then routines that I could perform, as seen in books/TV/films about little girls doing ballet. I ended up just joining-in with the parts that seemed to me as if they were ballet-related and then wandering off to climb up stacked chairs and see if there was anything interesting left on the hall windowsills that I could play with quietly while they got on with the irrelevant bits.

For a full picture, it later turned out that I'm autistic, which I don't think would be related to whether I was interested in doing ballet or not but may definitely have contributed to the rather direct 'problem-solving' attitude to the perceived failures of the class and feeling no obligation to obey the teacher if she was annoying and wasn't doing the thing I went for.

I was not harmed in the slightest by being withdrawn - I didn't like it much anyway as it wasn't an actual ballet class in my eyes (though I missed the outfit) and it was actually amusing in later years when I was a massive teacher's pet (fawning) that I had been chucked out of a class for poor behaviour when I was young.

Even my absolutely ballet obsessed son wouldn’t have enjoyed a ballet class at age 2. Stop, and try again in a couple of years!

We quit ballet because of the rules, soul destroying! Now into musical theatre and so happy!

What rules?

Ballet sounds a bit too structured for her at this point. To succeed at ballet you have to be willing to take and obey instructions and to have a lot of self-control. Obviously no one expects a 2 year old to have this in spades, but your own girl probably needs to grow a little more in this respect before ballet is a good fit for her. Stick with the gymnastics. And maybe something really physical like judo?

Very bizarre and quite frankly mad. At this age her wanting to touch things and not listen has nothing to do with my patenting. I discipline with action if she’s been told not to touch something and she’d still touching I’ll remove the item which I’ve been told to continue doing and that’s the correct approach. She’s literally a baby and can’t hold a conversation there’s very limited options and she has plenty of time to learn.

As a parent sometimes you have to adjust your expectations around who your child is. I'd love a girly ballet type, my little girl is a wild, messy haired, whirlwind. She hated ballet and found it boring, she likes gymnastics, horse riding and tree climbing, I think she'll love hockey when she's older. I'd suggest just finding something more her bag, than forcing her to behave there - it's meant to be fun! At the same time, as others have said, work on boundaries and gently guiding her to do as you need.

2 seems a bit young for ballet. My DC were 4 and 6 (DS) when they started ballet. 'Terrible Twos' is an accurate description of most two year olds. Give up on structured stuff till she is older.

For you…. my son dislikes musical theatre (too many kids screeching and being unprepared), loves ballet. Age 2, he would gave hated both!

She used to have tantrums however she doesn’t anymore. When she is told no she doesn’t meltdown or kick up a fuss is what I was trying to say. Majority of the time she listens it’s just that 20% of the time which is a bit frustrating but again she’s only just turned 2 and is still learning

OP go and learn to swim. It's a safety thing for a parent. I learned when I was in my middle 30s and found it fun. And so much more fun at the beach or on holidays with a pool.

She’s too young!
Also the way you say….’the teacher leaves in reach’…. Do you have any discipline over your DD? Or is it always someone else’s fault? Also she likes to do her own thing lol!!! So when you say no she has a tantrum????

come on.

What exactly is “very bizarre and quite frankly mad”?

Poor kid. She’s only 2!!!! What are you trying to do here? You’re expecting too much from a 2 year old. Most are still in nappies at that age. Let her run wild in a playground.

To be fair, my son isn't a tantrummer, he's just one of those SUPER COMPLIANT children who loves a routine and a task.

All we have to do is come up with some pithy phrase for each rule, and he'll happily chant it and do his task. (Like "clips and zips" for getting in the pram, or "go before you go" for the potty). I guess it doesn't feel like boundaries when they LOVE boundaries.

Have you spoken to the ballet teacher about choosing your daughter as a partner to see if it makes a difference. It seems very unfair that they are leaving your child out and blaming her for getting distracted.

Sounds like she would prefer a walk in the woods wearing wellies and playing with sticks etc.