Wild toddler kicked out of ballet class

[Tayebanks]

I’m really unsure if I’m doing something wrong DD is 2 (28m) and is very wild and energetic, she rarely listens to me outside of the house. We’re not a tantrum family she rarely has them she just prefers do her own thing. Her behaviour has caused me a lot of problems in public with people staring making me feel uncomfortable and because she’s also shy when people stare it makes her cry. She loves gymnastics class and we’ve never had any issues, she’s also very well behaved at nursery it’s just ballet class. We’ve been going for 2 terms now and she seems to enjoy it but recently she’d been getting very distracted preferring to play with the props the teacher leaves in reach than actually participate. I got a text message from the teacher and it made my mood feel dull because I’m actually proud of her improvement of being around new faces and trying her best to be involved but now I feel like that’s not the case. The problem is literally just her getting distracted because she likes to touch everything I do get involved and redirect her but I feel like she doesn’t feel involved. Also when she’s doing her side quests it’s not distracting the rest of the class at all. Do I pull her from ballet or stick it out?

She’s not a free spirit, op admits she’s been given no boundaries.

I gave my ds plenty of boundaries but he still ran round the music with mummy" class like a caged animal and tried to open the windows (presumably to escape). Not all toddlers are ready for organised, structured fun.

Cold doesn’t cause illnesses, viruses do, so running round outside on a cold day won’t cause her to be sick unless she picks up something from another bike there. I give mine high dose vitamin C to help build their natural immune system, it’s extremely rare they’re sick, she sounds like a kid who needs to burn some energy off running round outside, also she’s 2, ballet classes for that age are basically a gimmick to take your money because they’re toddlers, they haven’t the capability to stay fully focused nor should they, I’d be 100% pulling her coz you’re wasting your money, try her again after she turns 4 but I’d also be trying her in many other activities like football etc, let her decide when she’s tried out a few things til she finds her place in something she properly enjoys, does she tell you she likes ballet?

Totally agree, she shouldn’t be there, she’s getting nothing out of it.
But op needs to stop allowing her to do as she pleases because she “doesn’t understand” when op speaks to her.

Classes at 2. What's wrong with a bit of soft play?

It's more complicated than that @Cob81. Cold air makes the mucus membranes at the back of the throat and in the nose more susceptible to infection.

Thank you for your message. We really need to check on mum with wild kids haha

She probably isn’t having tantrums because you are just letting her not listen and “do whatever she wants”. This may be another reason she isn’t listening at ballet. Also, she’s only 2.

But they’re less likely to be exposed to infection in the open air, than in an overheated, poorly ventilated indoor space.

Your little one is only two and obviously very lively and independent. Formal classes are not for all children at her age,

In your place, I'd take her out of the class, it isn't for her at the moment but don't worry about it, she sounds normal enough and there is plenty of time ahead for her to be involved in something that she really wants to do.

i do put boundaries in place at times she chooses not to listen she is 2… you cannot beat and shout at a child. She’s still learning and so am I which is fine. Health visitor and nursery nurse have assured me I am not doing anything wrong and is normal for their development to push boundaries. Do you think I enjoy feeling embarrassed because I don’t.

Thank you

God, there you are again suggesting people think you should beat up and shout at your child 🙄
Ffs…

She's just not interested in ballet any more, which is why other things are too distracting.

It's great to let young kids experience as many new things as possible so that when they are older they can narrow it down and start enjoying a few things that really interest them.

So take her out of ballet and let her do something else.

Jo

Guess we will never know what this text message actually said!

She's a baby stop trying to make her do such strutted activities, of course she wants to play with props which are more attractive to her,

My daughter attended ballet class at a similar age but after two terms of the same repetitiveness she had had enough.
honestly, I wouldn’t worry - a 2 year old doing a regular scheduled class that is ‘structured’ without wiggle room.
the gymnastics is likely a little more relaxed. She will likely prefer going to the park than ballet.
All 2 year olds give a public display at some point so I wouldn’t worry, and what’s more - she is a toddler whose brain hasn’t fully developed yet. The more you relax in public the more she will too.

Our DD’s sound a lot alike we went to a kids party not to long ago and it was chaotic but then again it was mostly adults. She is very full of energy even at home. I’m going to keep her in until the end of term as I’ve already paid and for Christmas photos on the 4th and then pull her out.

She is far, far too young for ballet. You’re wasting time and money. Why did you put her in for the classes in the first place?

This. The class isnt developmentally appropriate for her. Just wait a few years and come back to it and give her the freedom she needs in a different class.

Op I mean this gently, not to judge or goad you, but it feels like you put a lot of power in her hands eg you mention that she chooses to do this or that, she skipped her nap, she chooses not to listen, she likes to touch everything etc
As if she is the boss and you're her PA running around behind her.

You are the parent and at 2 years of age you need to teke control and guide her a bit more.

What are the consequences of not listening? So what if she likes to touch everything, there's a time and place.

It feels like you're scared to go against her or say no to her.

I understand that she is the most precious thing to you and possibly more vulnerable with her health but you can't be afraid to provide consequences and boundaries, otherwise she is going to really struggle at school.

I’m not making her do anything. I’ve put her in classes because she was initially very shy and the hv suggested putting her in groups. I placed her in things she enjoys doing hence the 2 choices. She likes dance and again in gymnastics there’s no issues. She seems to enjoy as she does join in at ballet she just gets distracted in the middle before they have a “disco” as she usually doesn’t have a partner. I have already said this but her willingly being in a group without being petrified is a huge accomplishment for us. like I’ve said I’m thinking to pull her out instead of being constant. No need to be mean I’m already in low spirit.

Are there no playgroups you could go to? More appropriate than any sort of class.

I am interested why your two year old perhaps getting distracted a bit in a ballet group is making you have such a low spirit. Likewise the text from the ballet teacher. And you said she used to be petrified and almost cry if people looked at her. These are extreme descriptions and reactions OP.
Your very small daughter is two. She isn't fully engaging with the ballet. But seems to be fine with gymnastics.
If you create a drama where there is not one, don't be surprised if she follows your behaviour as almost a cue as to how to be.
Try to keep a perspective on things.

I can’t control what happens when she’s at nursery and I’m working. Sometimes she skips her nap and that’s okay she has quiet time instead. She’s at the age where she is on the verge of not needing the nap all together. When we’re out and she’s in the pushchair my options are very limited. At home when I ask her to not do something she listens. If I tell her to put something down and she doesn’t I remove it and she goes off and does her own thing. She’s still learning and so am I as a first time mum. I’ve never done this before and neither has she. I had a mean mum growing up and I don’t want to be a mean mum. There’s only so much discipline options appropriate for her age. If you have any suggestions please let me know