Wild toddler kicked out of ballet class

[Tayebanks]

I’m really unsure if I’m doing something wrong DD is 2 (28m) and is very wild and energetic, she rarely listens to me outside of the house. We’re not a tantrum family she rarely has them she just prefers do her own thing. Her behaviour has caused me a lot of problems in public with people staring making me feel uncomfortable and because she’s also shy when people stare it makes her cry. She loves gymnastics class and we’ve never had any issues, she’s also very well behaved at nursery it’s just ballet class. We’ve been going for 2 terms now and she seems to enjoy it but recently she’d been getting very distracted preferring to play with the props the teacher leaves in reach than actually participate. I got a text message from the teacher and it made my mood feel dull because I’m actually proud of her improvement of being around new faces and trying her best to be involved but now I feel like that’s not the case. The problem is literally just her getting distracted because she likes to touch everything I do get involved and redirect her but I feel like she doesn’t feel involved. Also when she’s doing her side quests it’s not distracting the rest of the class at all. Do I pull her from ballet or stick it out?

She is more likely to pick up bugs and germs in an overheated room with a load of other kids than running around at the park.

I am trying my best there is a bit of a language barrier as she is 2 like you mentioned. What do you suggest I do. I don’t think shouting at a toddler is an appropriate and I think it would make me look rather mad.

This.

Fresh air is much healthier and as long as she is wrapped up warmly it will be much better for her.

She is two. A toddler.
I would be careful not to expect her to 'perform' in class. It is supposed to be a nice experience. Not one where you assess her. Just let her be her.
You haven't explained what the teacher said to you in her text to you.
Who seems to leave always leave her without a dancing partner.
I would wonder why that was myself. It doesn't sound as though they are making her or you feel 'welcome'.
So leave and find somewhere that does.

My 5yo was the same at 2. She couldn’t concentrate on the structured parts of groups and just wanted to free-flow. We stopped her toddler gymnastics because of it. My 11yo would have followed the instructions at 2 and done what the teacher said but they are two very different children. My 20mo son stands staring at the adult-led activities so he’s somewhere in the middle. 🤷‍♀️

I would sack off the ballet and find something more engaging for her. My DD2 loved a messy art group at a similar age. It had a bit of structure with some songs at the beginning but I made her sit with me every time so she soon got used to it and it only lasted 5 minutes.

You don't need to shout but you do need to start linking behaviour with a consequence. At 2, she should be starting to grasp cause and effect. If she's wandering around the room grabbing props, you pick her up and move her away from the props. If she keeps trying to go back to the props, you tell her in simple language that if she can't follow instructions, you will leave, and follow through on that.

Equally though, don't set her up to fail. If she doesn't have a partner, either you partner with her or you tell the teacher she needs a partner or she can't participate.

She also needs opportunities to burn off her high energy. Being outside does not make you ill and is good for your immune system and your sleep. Wrap her up warm and take her outside.

If she’s not listening when you tell her stop doing something, you pick her up and physically remove her to make her stop. Neither of mine were naturally compliant at 2 and would have become feral if I didn’t try and give off an aura of calm, but no nonsense. It doesn’t have to involve shouting or anything nasty. 1 verbal warning in very simple, calm language ‘DD, please stop doing XYZ’…and if she still doesn’t comply then remove her whilst calmly saying again ‘DD, we don’t do XYZ, that’s why I have picked up you up/taken you out/whatever’. Repeat for the next 3 or so years.

28 months is quite young for ballet? It's quite a disciplined class and actually quite slow for an energetic youngster, perhaps she's just too young and excitable at the moment to be doing ballet. Try later if she still likes the idea?
Running around the park is probably a better way to expel that energy for a while til she naturally calms down.

And just to add, at 2 all my 2 could cope with were free flowing toddler groups and a gymnastic class which was completely unstructured. Oh and a lot of park time, in all weather. Ballet would have been atrocious. You have to give her the chance to be good in a developmentally appropriate environment.

It sounds like a crap class.

2 year olds should just be self directed at this point - encouraged to enjoy movement etc - and left without a partner/!? it sounds wierd

I cacn't imagine taking a 2 year old to ballet unless it was some sort of free flow.

Surely this is an achievement??

But honestly, I don't think that ballet is right for your kid.....

How old are the other girls in the class and why is she being left to her own devices while the teacher and her assistant take a child each? At the very minimum they should alternate which girl gets left to her own devices.

This is less about her being 2 and more about the teacher not teaching properly. You probably need a bigger class with more 1-2-1 support. At this age ballet is about building discipline / resilience / listening not necessarily about technique. So a class where she’s with older girls may not be appropriate.

She's two

She's not meant to comply

i remember trying lots of activities with my two when they were toddlers and lots just didn’t work. My son was really physically active at a young age and quite boisterous and I remember taking him to baby gym and him knocking the other slower babies down so he could get past them. We didn’t return! He also hated a music class and didn’t want to sit down whereas my daughter loved it. Take her out of the ballet class and try something else - maybe just running around a park or soft play is more suitable at the moment. It doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong. Don’t take it personally. Some activities just suit some children and not others!

‘DD, we don’t do XYZ, that’s why I have picked up you up/taken you out/whatever’. Repeat for the next 3 or so years.

The last sentence 😂😂 So accurate. My DD2 is a lot more compliant now but she’s 5. She is getting a bit more feral again at home because she’s containing it so well at school so she has no energy left by home time.

Ballet classes were horrific for my toddler. All those cute little children lined up doing exactly what they were told and then my Wild thing rampaging around following his own interpretive dance Guidelines. We didn’t go more than three times. Just find something else to do.

Tantrums happen because children are given boundaries that they don't appreciate. If you aren't giving her boundaries, she has nothing to tantrum against.

OP please relax.
I am guessing she is either your first or you only have one child. Because we are all the same with our first i think. Kids at that age are supposed to get distracted, playing with those props is what it would be expected! This time is good to observe her, what she likes naturally, what she is willing to try. Nothing too structured.
Mine are teens now. One of them would be quite spirited at age 2 and i remember feeling exhausted with him. He refused to try a sport at the age of 3.5. When he was 5.5 he said he wanted to try. He is now competing in the senior team in that sport and loves it. He is doing very well at school and focusing- which I wouldn't have imagined when he was small.

Dont be so hard on yourself. You are doing great. She is doing great. My only advice is to let her try and to absolutely ignore the attitudes of others. She is still a toddler. Her behaviour is completly normal. Enjoy her. x

I was going to suggest Rugby Tots. My wild toddler loved it - lots of running around and fun games. He also did an outdoor Forest School toddler group, which he much preferred to any of the indoor groups we tried.

In other words-you’re doing great!!

My dd went to ballet class and thrived at 2, but didn’t cope well at all with toddler swimming lessons. We stopped them till she was 4, then she loved them.

She's not ready for ballet and you're expecting too much of her. (Don't get me started on the general curse of ballet classes.) Give it a year then try it again, or maybe something more like football.

Every two year old is like that surely...? Mine wasn't ready for structured activities then, but at 3.5 is much more able. I'd start leave it for now and restart ballet when she's 3 or 4 😊

Yeah I didnt really notice it until our last lesson on Tuesday as I usually sit with her. I didn’t because she wanted to sit and watch as she had just recovered from a viral infection. It’s more so dancing around to nursery rhymes and dance party which she joins in and is involved aswell as the more ballet warm up (sorry if I already mentioned this to you) it’s just when it comes to the partner part I’ve just realised is when she just chooses to go off and do her own thing until they move onto something else

She’s two. Leave it til she’s older. Sounds like she needs to be taken to the part for a run-which ie perfectly fine.

Lol, no 2 year old needs to be in a ballet class, even a proto-ballet class. Even kids who live to dance don't start essond til at least age 4.

She's young and clearly highly motivated to explore and direct her own play which is totally age appropriate. Maybe find a playgroup or free play session that you can go to together. You can try again with structured classes in a year or 3.