Be honest.. when does parenting get easier?

[Liverpoolgirl50]

I had PND for the first year so there is a definite fog around that, my DD had a cows milk allergy and reflux, and was a pretty poorly baby. It got a little easier after she turned 1 and started walking - I was actually beginning to really enjoy it all. She’s about to turn 20 months and BAM - tantrums.

Fall to the ground, won’t get up, won’t be held, screaming tantrums. In the middle of Tesco, usually, because I’m trying to hurry her along or won’t let her have something. I try and manage them as best I can - getting to her level, asking her to use her words to explain the problem, even good old distraction. It is works 9/10 times but god the whole process is exhausting.

Does this phase last a long time? She’s a fairly strong willed little girl and I’m doing my best, but for example, when will going out in public become enjoyable again and not an anxiety inducing activity? 😂

Tbh it doesn't get easier. It gets more difficult in different ways and easier in others are you go along.

Mine are 10 and 7 and are both now more physically able and independent but emotionally a nightmare. It's like dealing with a 10 year old toddler.

I think all kids are different. DD1 is so much easier at 4 than she was at 0-2. But I know people who had easy babies and were hit hard by threenagers.

I think you just have to roll with it and look for the good bits.

Mine is 14 and to be honest she's pretty easy 🤣 the issues are now about hair/makeup/friendship fall outs. I sleep all night and have a house full of teenage girls most of the time so they entertain each other.

Every age has easier bits and harder bits. DS17 is out with mates, won’t sleep properly until he gets in 🙄

Toddler tantrums try to change you view of them. Don’t dread them. Just see them as an age appropriate way of communicating.
I made a conscious effort to not get annoyed. Getting annoyed makes everything worse. Stay calm. And never take it personally. That goes for all ages actually.

Parenting is hard work, you get out what you put in.

My eldest got easier at around 5, my youngest is 4 and I'm really really hoping she will be the same (definitely hasn't happened yet). But as others said, it's easier in some ways, but harder in others.

Mine are 22, 20, 21, 19, 17!
It just gets different, better? No. There are some lovely times which you must savour, but it is hard.
Enjoy the ride

Yes it just changes over the years and becomes different.

27 moved out decent partner & job is easiest so far.

Kids are all different but i found from 3-4 things got easier, mine is about to turn 5 and is so easy, can take them anywhere and so fun to do activities with. We have a one year old so i can really see the positive changes, hang in there things get easier

Agree there's pros and cons to all ages.
I did really enjoy age 3 though.

Tantrums, I used to get myself worked up and upset when they happened in public.
I had to keep reminding myself he's not doing it on purpose there is a reason or communication issue which he can't express.
I used to get down to his level and cuddle if he wanted or just stay there.
I did realise telling him stop made him worse. Sometimes not saying anything and providing touch works better.

Yes I feared that would be the answer 😂 I love seeing her little personality develop, but I secretly hoped she would get her dads calm demeanour and not my stubbornness, but I know it’ll do her well when she’s older!

Her language is coming on leaps and bounds at the moment, so maybe when she can express herself better the tantrums will calm. (And we will probably have a whole new challenge by then!)

Mine are older and I found them easier when they were that age so it’s not a certain age for everyone.

Mine was when he started to edge into 6 years plus (I also had two younger gurls but they were utter angels). Everyone delights in telling me how horrific the teenage years will be but me and my brother were totally fine, all my friends were fine, so....ignoring the negativity.

Depends on lots of things. My 16 month old is easier than he was at 6 months because he actually sleeps now and he’s not as clingy and is fun! He does have a temper ab slices to throw himself on the floor etc in a way my other kids never did!

My 10 and 12 year old are really good company. It’s not without its challenges but in general it’s been much easier since they were in primary. They are both very good kids.

IMO it gets much easier than toddlerhood! That was mentally and physically exhausting. Once they started school it was fine - not easy but not the hell of the toddler years. Teen years I have loved.

This!!! My eldest DS was actually at his easiest as a baby and young toddler. I now have an 8 and 5 year old, and it’s easier in lots of ways, but much much harder and more heartbreaking, worrying, emotionally draining in others.

So true - I’m rubbish at taking things personally but only with my eldest DC. The youngest I have parented so much better, experience is a wonderful thing.

My DS was the same at that age. I wouldn’t bother with the getting down to their level and asking them to use their words to explain. Most 20 month olds don’t have that ability, even if their speech is good.

I’m currently really enjoying 2 and a half (surprisingly) with DS. He’s still a handful but communication is way better and he’s just so much fun. We do coffee dates and all sorts now. Tantrums are still fairly regular but I’m hardened to it now. The screaming feels more like background noise these days.

I don't relate to people who say it doesn't get easier, either they have a very different experience and /or personality to me (or my children) or they are the kind of women that just love to doom-monger and scare other women, you know the kind I mean, the same people who delight in telling you to sleep when you're pregnant.

For me, it has got easier with every year that passed, and continues to, I hated the baby years, the relentless need to keep every need of theirs topped up. I'm not saying parenting gets easy, but give me a sulking teenager over a screaming toddler ANY day. Teenagers still need you a lot, and it is emotionally tiring and stressful worrying you are saying and doing the right things, but it's still nothing compared to waking every hour, having a baby screaming at you with no way to tell you what's wrong, not being able to leave the house on your own. In high school mine can walk themselves to school, make themselves breakfast, wash themselves, cook me dinner, do the dishwasher, strip their own beds. My eldest even irons now! They're also really good company, currently sat watching stranger things with them. I get a lot more joy from them now, and critically for me, more time for myself.

It's still a challenge, I'm sure it always will be, but much more manageable and fun. The primary school years are definitely the sweet spot though!

@Liverpoolgirl50 , nope, unfortunately, it gets worse. My mum used to say be thankful that you can put them to bed and you know where they are. Wait till they start going out. It's a minefield!!🤭🤭🤭

@freespirit333 agree.
I’ve got a 4 year gap and calmer second time round.

From 25 years plus I'd imagine

Mine are 8 & 11 and still can still be quite demanding although I have a lot more freedom and can sleep in at weekends

My small children were really easy. It was definitely preferable to dealing with young adult issues.

Another shoe dropped today when my mid 20s DD lost her health insurance that her employer said she was entitled to and now says she isn’t. She’s in university full time and works a lot, but won’t be able to afford health insurance without leaving university and working more, so I’ll have to help her because I think getting her degree will ultimately be better for her life than getting more hours at her supermarket job so she can get health insurance.

Sometimes it feels like it’ll never end.

Q)When does parenting get easier?
A) when they move out.

I also don't really 'get' the 'it never gets easier'. There's a reason that a childcare worker can only legally look after four two year olds but can be in charge of 30 5 five year olds. Very few people would find babysitting a just walking baby for the day more relaxing than babysitting a 9 year old. The background worries might get bigger but in a day-to-day 'can I sit down and have a cup of tea and read my book' way it clearly does get easier for the vast majority of children.