What's the funniest thing your child has said today?

[lyrabelacqua]

I was talking with DS1 (4) about health and fitness and eating properly.
"So," I said to DS1, "what are the two most important things if you want to be good at running," (expecting him to say eating healthy food, keeping fit etc)
he thinks about it for a while and answers: "Legs."

DS2 (2) asks for a drink so I give him some orange juice. he looks at it suspiciously and asks: "Has it got wine in it?"

LOL at the wine

DS points at my bra on the washing line and says to nana "that is mummy's boobie shelf"!

In the middle of Debenhams DS1 aged 4 called bras "boobie pants"

Today DS2 13 months had managed to get biro and scribbled on my cream sofa. I had my head in my hands and DS4 said "are you cross Mummy" and then "would you like me to sing you a song to cheer you up" now how could I stay mad when I have him singing Twinkle Twinkle at me to make up for his little brother's actions!

mummy you promised we could watch dallas

Ds2 comes off his school bus and I ask him if he's got his rain coat. He said "I told you I didn't need it" I said "well, the forecast did say rain today".

His response with a wave of the hand....."forecast shmorecast".

How old is he?

11 going on 73. There's a lot of laughter here and he's the root of most of it

ds asked where his belly buttons were. I pointed out the one he has. No, I got hundreds and hundreds he says
I can't convince him otherwise.

I'm seeing your ds1 being a scientist when he grows up and your ds2 should not be trusted with any of your secrets

DD (2), looking through some Simpsons top trumps cards "it's Moe!"

Ds2 - Mummy, where do lions and tigers live?
Me - er, tigers in India, lions in Africa (that's right innit?!)
Ds3 - Noooooo, lions and tigers in the zoo!
Ds2 - But mummy, what do they eat in India and Africa
Me - well they run after smaller animals and eat them (hmm, am not a zoologist!)
Ds3 - noooooooo mummy, tigers eat fruit. I seen them on the tele.

I was in my local store today with ds (age 2.7).

A fairly elderly lady came in with unfeasibly long, frizzy hair - but otherwise quite trendy.

Ds says "Look mummy! "I think it's a witch ... with shoes on."

DS 1 (2.5yo) has taken to repeating 'I want wankin'

Which roughly translates as 'please mummy may I watch my lion king video?'

pmsl @ witch with shoes on!

DD (aged 4 going on 24!) - told me that she had watched Kate Humble dive with basking sharks (bit of a Sprinwatch fiend!) She then told me 'they don't eat people they eat.......(pause).....planks'

DS1 (3) was being particularly well behaved in the supermarket, so I told him, "You are a star". He replied, "I'm not a star. I'm a superstar".

'Mummy, you're supposed to play with me!'

DD1, 4 next week!

DD aged 18 mth was playing with my nephew aged 3. she wouldn't do what he wanted her to do so he was telling her off. After quite a mini rant he asked her was she bothered. DD 'NNaaaaahhhh'.

she has no idea bless her.

Nephew than asked can i bring her back to play when she is 3 as she can't play properly some days.

Another Springwatch fiend here.

Whilst feeding ducks today:
DD(2) "Billoddie! Billoddie! Where are you? Are you hiding?"

DD (2) picks up a plastic funnel while playing at the water table at toddlers. says at the top of her voice 'mummy milk' (she thought it was a breast pump)

Oh no its my DS1 again...
Went into loos at Debehams (long queue). He is just about potty trained. He went first, he sits and points his his willy down as per at home. Then my turn. The WHOLE QUEUE heard him shout 'Mummy push your willy down!!!'.
Somehow I made it out of the store before shrivelling up with embarrassment.

On being told to lie down and go to sleep, he gave a defiant shriek of

"I never go to sleep! NEVER! Not for forty-twenty nights!"

he's 4.

DS2 (4) was being a bit of a monkey yesterday and dragging his heels when we went to collect his brother from school. I asked him to hurry up a bit and commented that he had not really done much he was asked that day.

He replied (very seriously but with a big grin on his little face) "No, I am not very pleased with myself today."

How can you be cross when they are so cute?!

My new neighbours have chickens but DS2 (7) said the eggs they lay will not have chicks in because they do not have a cockroach!