What's the funniest thing your child has said today?

[lyrabelacqua]

I was talking with DS1 (4) about health and fitness and eating properly.
"So," I said to DS1, "what are the two most important things if you want to be good at running," (expecting him to say eating healthy food, keeping fit etc)
he thinks about it for a while and answers: "Legs."

DS2 (2) asks for a drink so I give him some orange juice. he looks at it suspiciously and asks: "Has it got wine in it?"

My father took DS (3yo) to Mumbles and, looking over the bay, he said to DS 'see over there, the other side? There's Llandarcy (a town)'.
DS said 'No, not Llandarcy. Ít's landrover.'

PMSL julen!

DS (5) asks me is "dam" a bad word. I explained that there are 2 meanings - one to block a river and the other a bad word.

He gets out of car, drops his book-bag and says loudly "dam". Then "the one in the river, not the bad word"!

Last week I mentioned that it was my parent's wedding anniversary. So DS (still 5!) says "so how come you were born in May and they only got married in June?". I explained that they got married in June and I was born the following May. "Did it take them THAT long?" he says.

My ds is 6, he said, "hey mam" remember years ago when I was 4?"

DS#2"Can I have some more strawberries?"
Me: "Yes"
DS#2 "Why?"
Me" Because I love you"
DS#2 " I was hoping you'd say that"

Technically he is right but it was said in a decades ago fashion.

Have a suspected UTI and dp taught my little two year old dd to point at me and say 'cheesy fanny' which she pronounces as chizzy fahnee. Hope she doesn't remember it!

A while ago now, but I took DS1 into the cubicle in a shopping centre loo. Unfortunately I was having a period, cue a loud announcement by him 'Mummy, you've got string hanging out of your willie'

Someone made an idiotic statement on the radio this morning and DH says aloud to the air "What planet do they think they're on??" DS1 who has been quietly reading in the next room pipes up "Earth, Daddy, we live on Earth."

dd1 (13) said "don't worry, mum - I'll do the washing up"

made me laugh - especially when three hours later, I did it myself.

Dd this morning when jumped out of car to post fathers day card said, why did you put grandpa's card in the bin? Me: a man will come nad take it to his house. DD: I wnat to go in the bin so man will take me to Granpa's house!!!!! We live in London and they're in Scotland.

dd found an old Valentines card that DH sent to me years ago .. y'know, one of those noisy ones that you open up and they play a tune

.... well .....

anyway, this one sings ...'You're Gorgeous', so DD declares - 'this is my favourite song, and was walking around in aimless circles singing (in a very untuneless voice, thanks to me I'm afraid)... 'Because you're gorgeous, I'd do anything for you-is, because you're gorgeous, I'd do anything for you-is'

WONDERFUL!

When we stopped at the services last weekend dd1 said at the top of her voice,"daddy,look at those big balls over there ,i bet you couldn't fit one of those in your mouth?"

She was pointing to some big gobstoppers.

arf!

Dd,she is 2y3m.I called to my parents to ukraine and they put her on the phone and told her to say how much she loves me.and she said"mama, i love,so loudly,loudly,loudly"

The other time she was reading a verse to me and on the middle she stops and says"and so on and on and on.You should know,mama

DS1 lying on his tummy watching TV

DS2 sitting on his legs, scribbling away with a biro on his brothers naked bottom

Me, curious as to why asks 'What are you doing?'

DS2 'I've run out of paper'

He was three at the time, they are now 21 and 18.....

ds, 3.5, having learnt that eating fish would help his brain grow, then asked dh "What will make my testicles bigger, Daddy?".

Whilst looking at Grandparents new house, from the outside, for the first time:

Me: 'Thats Nannies bedroom, thats the your bedroom and thats.....'

DS2: 'the car bedroom'

I think he meant the garage

And when the 'tummy bug' became a 'bummy tug' which I think describes it exactly!

Husbands can be as bad

My mother proudly said yesterday, that she had lost 10lbs in weight

To which my husband replied

'Did you leave your handbag at home?'

Guess who's out of the will......

My daughter (sorry new to all this and don't know the terms yet!) who is four is doing healthy eating at school. Her dad has recently put on a bit of weight and she had no qualms in telling her teacher this. She said 'my dad eats lots of chips and chocolate and is getting bigger and bigger and when he stops eating them he gets smaller and smaller.' Needless to say he is on a diet and is watching what he eats!!
It made me laugh seeing what children call their mums bras. My daughter calls it a boobie drawers!!

DS2 (again!) whilst showing a picture of his not too slender father, taken at Disneyland,with Tweedledum said:

'My Dad's the one on the right'

Well, even I had trouble telling them apart!!

And the time he announced at age 9, that he had begun puberty and I asked nervously 'How do you know?' and he said he had black hair 'down below'. He went back upstairs only to re-appear 10 minutes later saying:

'It's ok Mum, it's just the fluff of my jogging pants'

Phew!!

Welcome to mumsnet Presh78.
My ds2 calls my boobs potatoes

oh and dd (just turned 3 ... although this has been a fave for a while now) always says when she sees me in the shower : ' mummy has fluff on her mini-moo, gotta hoover it uuuuupppp' with a chorus of laughter

she even says it when we're out and about in times of glee - but 'thank the lord' she says it so fast no-one is non the wiser!!

btw, click on the acronym list at the top of the page to find out what all the abbreviations mean or you'll be baffled.

moo. she is 11 months old