What's the funniest thing your child has said today?

[lyrabelacqua]

I was talking with DS1 (4) about health and fitness and eating properly.
"So," I said to DS1, "what are the two most important things if you want to be good at running," (expecting him to say eating healthy food, keeping fit etc)
he thinks about it for a while and answers: "Legs."

DS2 (2) asks for a drink so I give him some orange juice. he looks at it suspiciously and asks: "Has it got wine in it?"

Aww bless Boco!

My dd (almost 4) - said to my PIL's who were visiting - "Guess what? Gran (my mum!) doesn't wear pants...... (pause which seemed to last 20mins -me waiting with bated breath and PIL looking slightly embarrassed)...she wears knickers!!!!!! phew i didn;t want to imagine what she could've revealed {wink]

DD (9), putting her breakfast dish in the dishwasher this morning {smug moment, I got at least one of my kids trained!)
"urhhh Mum, you need 'Finish Odour Stop Bad Smells' ". Word for word. Too much TV methinks!

Dd 6 yo is being referred to an Ortodontist (sp?). On the phone to my mum this morning she reported excitedly "Granny, I have to get dentures" She meant a brace

DD1 (4): Daddy, I want you to buy me 3 pet elephants. Real elephants.

DH: Where would we keep them?

DD1: In the garden.

DH: What would they eat?

DD1: milk

DH: Would that be normal milk, or special elephant milk?

DD1: elephant milk

DH: Where can you buy elephant milk? Do they sell it at Tesco?

DD1: (as if explaining something very obvious) Nooo! They only sell it at Sainsbury's. And Budgens.

DH: What would the elephants' names be?

DD1: Penelope.

DH: all 3 of them?

DD1: Yes.

dd put her hand in her pocket & said, in a disappointed fashion "oh, dere are no daddy pounds in dere, mummy".

ds (watching the end of the news with me, story about the West Bank) said

'mummy, we went to the South Bank last week. Could we do the West Bank this weekend?'

dd (also watching the news, caught the adverts afterwards)

'mummy, you could do with some of that cream, couldn't you?'

(some bloody ad for face cream for elderly wimmins grrr)

at Boco's dd. If only it was that simple...

Another one. While on holiday we visited a beautiful 12th-century castle, explored it and climbed up the tower. After we'd been there for a while, dd2 (just 2) asked "Where bouncy castle?" The poor thing had been looking forward to a good bounce!

DS1: It's Father's Day today, so Daddy had a lion.

I think he meant 'lie-in'

Oh yes, another one ...

DS2 the other day asked what animal a banana comes from

My neice (9 now) became very fascinated with poo when she was about 4. One day she shouted 'Mum, come and look at my big poo'. My sister duely looked and said 'That IS a big poo, where did that come from?' and without a moments hesitation the reply was 'London'. Still makes me laugh now.

DS2 (6) sitting on our bed having a good fiddle.

Me: DS2, could you go and do that in your bedroom please?

DS2: But Mummy look! It's the Leaning Tower of Pisa, no...it's the Sears Tower,no...it's Taipei 101.

Me: PMSL

Dd in garden looking at the snails told dh that it was probably going to the shop to buy fruit and it was probably friends with the snail on her slide.

My 2yo admonishing my 4yo who was grumping upstairs for a shower before bed:

"You ARE having a shower, even if you don't want to, so you might as well stop sulking and smile"

My dd (2yrs) said as dh and I were driving down the motorway " look! sheep!" then a little while later we saw some more in a field I pointed them out to her, to which she replied "they're following us!"

Said this on here before some time ago but thought I'd share again. Ds2 (7) was asking about where babies came from. Decided it was time for a frank talk with him, and used a book for reference. This introduced him to new terminology. He took it all in and asked some really sensible and mature questions. Then he turned to dh and asked:

"So if you put you penis into mum's vagina ........ ....... how do you know it won't go up her bum instead?"

Sorry for lowering the tone.

Mummmmeeeee why are you cleaning - who is coming round???

how about my DS's (5) answer to my plea of 'when can Mummy get just a bit of peace and quiet!'...'you should go to a graveyard, you get buried then and it's really quiet you could sleep for ages!...do you think I need to go thru' the whole death thing with him???

My youngest told a friend of mine...'my Mummy looooooves cop-porn.'

I do enjoy pop-corn.

DS1 playing in the sink the other day "BANG...and the dirt is gone" proper Barry Scott stylee. (he is 3)

Also when he was telling me about how he banged his head at nursery, "but I didn't want compost on it"... cue me slightly confused till we figured out he meant compress.

On holiday a few months ago DD (aged 13) repeated a line from Little Britain "I'm a lady, I don't have testic-ley" much to our horror and amusement. This was closely followed by DS (aged 8) repeating the same line as "I'm a lady, I don't have tooth decay". As I nearly wet myself laughing, he still keeps repeating it and I haven't the heart - or nerve - to correct him!!!!!!!!

Racing around trying to get out to school this morning

me : Come on, Dads already left for work so he cant help us to get ready and out.

DS (aged 7) but he never helps us even when he's here.

Hmmm. Too right.

DS (5) had been driving everyone mad getting them to refill his water pistol so eventually he was told we'd run out of water. He said 'Okay then, can I wash the car with juice?'

ds (2.10)...I'm not going to grow into a man...I'm going to grow into a biiiiiiiiiig tree.