What's the funniest thing your child has said today?

[lyrabelacqua]

I was talking with DS1 (4) about health and fitness and eating properly.
"So," I said to DS1, "what are the two most important things if you want to be good at running," (expecting him to say eating healthy food, keeping fit etc)
he thinks about it for a while and answers: "Legs."

DS2 (2) asks for a drink so I give him some orange juice. he looks at it suspiciously and asks: "Has it got wine in it?"

last night getting out of the bath ds (4yo) says to me, 'mummy, it's part of the fabric of life'
'what is darling?' says i
'bold 321 liqui-tabs' says he.
dh and i laughed so much he started dancing around in the buff singing it

DS1 had been watching tv with his sister, later asked me over dinner "so Mum, who's your car insurance with"

Driving through Richmond Park in the rain
DD aged 4 moaning about the rain and the fact that in the summer it shouldn't rain

So I tell her that it is really good and the park looks lovely, all the animals and plants love the rain and that it is good to have some rain in the summer

So after a couple of minutes she says

"Well mummy, the world may like rain but that doesn't mean persons do"

Me 'what shall we get nanny for her birthday'

dd1 (3) 'nanny wants a big slide for her garden'

Me 'nannys a bit old for a slide'

dd1 'its ok we will get her a big old slide'

wewll i thought it was funny and cute

DS (age 3.5) "Mummy do you know the Number Taker that disappears?"
Me - "No darling, I don't know which one that is - what's his name?"
DS - "The number Taker that disappears"

Ask a silly question........

Ds(3) his first day doing poos on the potty, he hadn't quite got the hang of staying on till he'd finished and after 9 poos said "Mummy, are you still very proud of me?"

In some very public toilets "Mummy, you're having your period, would you like a green one or a yellow one?"

Also, "Daddy, Mummy says you're an arse"

all the children in dds school were asked to suggest what to spend the schools fundraised money on to improve wet playtime enjoyment
i asked dd then aged 5 if she had any suggestions and she replied buy us all umberellas so we can go outside

we are evidently modelling good manners to our 2 year old dd because she solicitously enquired 'Daddy, did you have a nice go to toilet?'

DS telling off one of his toys in a game: 'I'm going to be very hungry with you if you don't tidy your room'

Ds 6
I'm going to marry a wife

Me
That's great

Him
I'm going to kiss her

Me
That's cool

Him
After she breaks up with her fella

Me
can you not just find one that hasn't got one?

Him
Yeah I suppose and carried on eating his crisps.

DS 3 in bath with baby sister

"Look ,Mummy,***'s got a bottom AT THE FRONT!!" in an amazed tone.

Also,looking down at his willy in peturbed fashion....

"Mummy,my willy is only small..."

Me "Don't worry,son,it will grow bigger as you get bigger"

ds "But it isn't fair,I want a big one,like Daddys!!"

He is very interested in bodily parts at the moment

Ooh I mentioned this on another thread recently, having recently come back from Paris there are quite a few photo's of certain landmarks, imagine my surprise and when ds 6 called me and when I looked, had his willy stretched to epic proportions and declared, "Look mam, it's like the Eifell tower!"

Have been trying to explain to DS (4) about different countries and time zones, etc - he's grasped that when we're asleep, Australians are awake - but have not been so successful with the concept that Granny and Grandpa are also in a different country (Wales).

DS: 'Mummy, what planet do Granny and Grandpa live on again?'

DH: 'Such a good question!'

Got twin girls aged 2 - one said to the other "that's mine" and the other said "it's mine actually"!!

It was the ACTUALLY that got me!

Also one came running out to me today in the kitchen saying "mummy mummy mummy - look - poo!"
and had her sisters poo in her hand that she had taken out of the potty! Grrrrr!!!!

Watching OUR PLANET on CBeebies this evening, mother animals feeding baby animals, and they asked about being in mummy's tummy - then One of them said "How we get out of mummy's tummy?" - so I told them, "Out of mummy's bit bits" - (daddy's name for them!) - and she said "want to come out of mummy's bit bits again"!!!!
OUCH! but so cute!

slayerette - we get the planet / country confusion aswell (he is also 4).

I was on the phone to my Mum today and ds(4) kept saying he wanted to talk to her, eventually I put him on the phone and he said" I just wanted to tell you, You're a freak!".

I haven't laughed so much in ages.

I was hovvering over the loo in my Dad's house (as opposed to sitting on it). DD (3):

"Mummy why are you doing that? - is it because you've got a BIG BUM?
A BIG, BIG, BUM?
You've got lots of Bums!" (accompanied by squeals of laughter)

DS2 3 months didn't say anything today. But he did latch onto the end of my nose in Tescos.

I was playing with DD, 4, earlier today, and she was doing an impression of a snail crawling along with her finger.

So I said, "Oh, DD, are you being a Sssnail?" (emphasis on the "s" for her speech)

She says "No Mummy, I am being be a rectangle"

I have absolutely no idea .....

My dd (5) passed me my drink and said 'I'm Waitrosing it to you, aren't I?'

Me: now ds, (20 months and can't actually talk yet) Mummy is going to dry you with the towel.

DS: twit twooo

Sat at Breakfast.

My 2 byear old daughter
'Wheres the money?'

'In your cow money bank.' I reply

'NEED MONEY NOWWWWW!!!!!!!'

then put and silence

DS in bed (age 3)

singing "oompa loompa" over and over

dd1 (5) overheard something on the news today and asked 'what's the gaza strip? Why are people fighting'

We explained, and said that two different groups of people were fighting because they wanted to be in charge.

DD listened and said 'Well is there anything we could do to help?'

I said i didn't really think so.

She thought for a while and said 'Well i could make both sides a card?'