Noooo. Dbaby is broken and I can't find a guarantee.

[loosechange]

He won't stop crying unless he's being held by me, preferably sleeping on one exposed boob, although at a push I can reclothe.

He is declining tuneless songs and cuddles from his siblings, and putting him down got me into a lot of trouble. Who needs words to shout?!

I can't find his warranty, and am not sure I could face returning him, collection was bad enough.

Any suggestions?

You could track your order online and request delivery to a neighbour or other safe place.

I've ordered a pink model.
So... you're pandering to gender stereotypes...
Didn't they have a gender neutral version?
Tuts.

Cody - they didn't have that option when I made my order. Was rather frustrating. They haven't let me add it on as an optional extra either!

Lweji - I did originally order the yellow model, but they made a mistake at 20 weeks and it was shown to be a pink model that was being built. The returns procedure at that point was far too convoluted... I dread to think what the post delivery returns are like. I should really have read the small print..!

I have the 87, 88 and 98 models. All have had similar glitches but definitely improve with the gf/bf app. 87 model has found the duplicate app and 2016 next generation model will arrive September. .

I have two pink models, a special millennium version and a later 04 version. Also a blue 04 model. The pink millennium model is responding well to basic commands, but sometimes the software has a glitch and it becomes deaf. The pink 04 model has a fault I cannot trace - it hides things and cannot remember where. It responds to basic commands with a yelping sound. The blue 04 model also has a malfunctioning auditory system, but I understand this is normal for the blue models. Its speech patterns are mainly incoherent, and it has a football program which I can't work out how to disable.

I have the same problem as Galdos with my '03 and '07 models (both Blue editions). When placed in programming mode the instruction often goes in one microphone and out the other. Indeed frequently it doesn't even get as far as the first microphone.

There also seems to be a major bug with the search / pattern recognition function. When the 'search' mode is engaged, either through external instruction or internal requirements, the object being searched for becomes completely invisible to the visual apparatus, even when in plain sight.

Also has anyone else found that the default models come with an absolutely tiny amount of memory? With anything other than the shortest program I'll come back and find the unit wandering aimlessly around and in need of being reprogrammed. Does anyone know where the slot for an extra memory card is?

Faldo and SDad have highlighted infuriating features that I would have thought the manufacturers should have cracked by now:

The football app. There must be a remove/disable function, but unfortunately there appears to be a virus which actually just spawns more and more, both of football and of other sports ( cricket, wrestling, rugger, American football)

The abysmally low level of memory

The poor microphone connection system

To which I'd add

The extremely expensive apparently only way to keep the battery topped up

The constant ads for new apps and add-ons

The inability to switch on the pick up clothes, wash clothes and washing up functions

The complete failure of the revision app to work.

As I said before , there are issues with the 1997 version, but you would have thought they might have got them ironed out, indeed even put an ironing app on there as standard 20 years on..

The constant ads for new apps and add-ons

LOL

To
Ericaequites Sat 28-May-16 22:59:02
"I have a 1936 mother which has lost much of its memory, and now its output is highly irregular. Unfortunately, there are no spare parts available."

I have a 1935 Joystick model with major memory lapses that beats the family members/caretakers...want to place it in the Joystick & Motherboard warehouse for wornout models, but 1 sibbling insists on upgrading the Joystick at home...I will soon abandon the program all together!

I have 2004 and 2008 versions.

The 2004 version has very little useable memory, loses all the hard work I put into it and seems to need constant access to electronics.

The 2008 version seems to have some very random (and unwanted) ability to find dogshit. The toilet app doesn't work on it either, it gets so far but it glitches just before the flush.

Also, has anyone noticed incompatibility between versions? Because my 04 and 08 versions are completely incompatible. They look like they're talking to each other, and then it all goes wrong, and one version always ends up overriding the other, leading to error messages being sent.

I've also had "version not found" errors.

I've looked at my contract, and at no point does it mention any incompatibility issues. My warranty expired ages ago. Hopefully someone knows a patch I can download???

Just after I'd typed that, the 04 version came to me with a tooth in its hands. It's lost quite a few of these parts and it costs money to dispose of them. The 08 version hasn't lost quite as many parts yet, but I'm sure it has the same malfunction.

They're definitely falling apart.

My blue 2005 model has a faulty auto-correct function - generally gets 2/12 right - I have tried many updates but it persists

The pink 2005 model is stuck on "know it all mode" which is irritating.

2002 Pink Model has reset and is in standby mode - seems to still need plugins and is in full advertising mode which won't disable

DH has spent the day playing with the 07, 09 and '11 versions. They have the enthusiasm app enabled as long as the correct bribe is inserted into operating instructions. He has had a great day.

I on the other hand have been trying all day to install a software upgrade on the '13 version. I'd like to get the waste disposal function to work autonomously... I can't seem to crack it and the device is malfunctioning as payback

My 2013 edition was doing well with waste disposal but then it malfunctioned and I can't seem to get it working again. Apparently the potty add on is scary.

Mine are fine when connected to wifi -

BloodyBones, reallly! Can´t people joke around? I actually found this post/thread quite creative and funny...as long as the newborns aren´t being neglected the mums can destress a bit...you should try it TOO! All the best!

My 2005 model seems to have had a problem with database input yesterday. I did think the upload was too fast, and it turns out that when he started downloading the data today there wasn't enough of it.
I hope the hardware can cope with the move to the 6.0 upgrade in a few months.
I may need to work on the input interfaces.

charlee we know babies cry. We know they're not really broken. Read the thread...it's a joke ffs.

Oh sod off charlees, it's a joke thread

So, not GF.
Is that BloodyBones again?

Btw, it's bad form to spam MN.
HTH

Oh and our website, you know, the one you're on, has plenty of useful info on settling a baby too.

The best being putting some headphones on and going lalala.

If only that worked lweji.

Thanks jellybean I'll look into that.