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Original poster

Noooo. Dbaby is broken and I can't find a guarantee.

281 replies

loosechange · 26/05/2016 18:23

He won't stop crying unless he's being held by me, preferably sleeping on one exposed boob, although at a push I can reclothe.

He is declining tuneless songs and cuddles from his siblings, and putting him down got me into a lot of trouble. Who needs words to shout?!

I can't find his warranty, and am not sure I could face returning him, collection was bad enough.

Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Willow2016 · 01/06/2016 00:32

FBuzzard
Even the daily mail managed to realise this was a humerous thread not an advice thread did you not read the article?
Read the thread and you will see its all a bit of fun.

(even though you were being kind to offer it OP doesnt want advice!)

Jodsno1 · 01/06/2016 04:16

My 2011 model came glitch free from another user, but now that's it's nearly 5yrs old it is developing terrible glitches and bugs...noise emits really loudly when told NO and worst of all it now answers back with a 'I will have last the last word' bug!! AND has developed a new language that needs censored when taken outside the home

Mumof5crazyassboys · 01/06/2016 04:37

My 15 model is perfect although i had to try 01,02,11 &12 before i found a good one. My 11 & 12 models seem to be the worst they must have some kind of magnetic attraction which causes them to constantly be in fight mode with each other. My 15 models only issue is his teething parts.

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/06/2016 04:43

I'm pretty sure neither of mine came with any kind of warranty. Luckily my 2006 model was quite a good one, only a few issues, but generally ok. The 2012 model though - dear me! It even needs jumpstarting occasionally, when under extreme duress!

I'm taking the 2012 model to be serviced soon - complete electrical overhaul of the major circuits, just to make sure nothing is malfunctioning, and it's just a temporary glitch. We'll see!

OP - despite the joking nature of your post, and FBuzzard's failure to enter into the spirit of the thread, it is nonetheless a good idea to take a look at what she's saying as it might be pertinent. Might not be, but might be. Quick trip to the service centre might be in order?

CatchIt · 01/06/2016 05:30

I've got the 2012 pink Olympic edition which, whilst a bit glitchy, seems to have run quite well. EatVegetable app is missing though it intakes soup so I've been able to sneakily bypass any major issues. RunSleep functions well though it needs to be recharged in my docking station which is a bit of a pain as it claims its own recharging station is faulty.

I'm a bit concerned now as I've currently got a 2016 blue model due in just under 2 weeks. It was a good idea at the time but having read the reviews of this years model I'm worried now!

DH1.0 1978 version is running well having recently installed a handyman app it's finally managed to put together items for the 2016 model. It's been a bit slow and seems to have a major snore error that I've just not been able to debug. I've tried shoving it, pushing it and have resorted to even hitting it at night to get it to stop. It works temporarily but seems to reboot itself. So frustrating. The WashingIroning app runs very well but LoadDishwasher is really crap, my 2012 model does a better job!

Guuguu · 01/06/2016 12:16

Not a mum yet, but I care for babies and young children almost daily. I find the following apps useful for obtaining extended sleep: sun exposure + physical exertion. For late 2015-2016 models, climbing around on equipment and up and down uneven cushion mazes is sufficient physical exertion. For all models however, swimming and sun if available, does a sweet trick.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/06/2016 14:24

Hate to disillusion you, Guuguu - but that doesn't work for every model - my 2012 version is like a dynamo, the more you wind him up, the more he goes! Sun and movement just fill him with more energy - I think he must have a solar battery attachment!

BIWI · 01/06/2016 17:01

Oh no, Thumb! Does your 2012 model not have the 'power down' button?

Lweji · 01/06/2016 20:49

On my model the giggling mode works wonders to enter sleep mode. He also seems to have a hybernate mode from which it's really difficult to turn on. On occasion it seems turned on but if you shut it down again you discover that nothing was saved and it's as if it was never on.

OrlandaFuriosa · 01/06/2016 23:45

Took Three of my god models to the park on Monday, 09 blue, 13 blue, 16 (3 weeks) pink. All started off with very noisy engine sounds, was worried about electrical connections as sparks between the blues. 16 once plugged in to dedicated recharge supply settled down to normal input/ output mode. 1 1/2 hours and short recharge later, good blue functionality. Continued in afternoon with 2 hours in indoor dedicated model space, lots of other models, pink and blue. Could see no problems in putting into sleep mode later.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/06/2016 04:17

BIWI - if he does, I haven't found it! Luckily the solar/momentum charge doesn't last more than a couple of extra hours Hmm so he's usually out before I am.

However, I have found that there is a bug in the system - if anyone is heard to mention the goddamn phrase "he'll sleep well tonight!" then it seems to fuse his input module, and makes absolutely certain that he'll not power down for extra hours! Angry

saffronwblue · 02/06/2016 04:27

Anyone know how to override the default Sarcasm setting on the 1998?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/06/2016 04:29

Oo no, sorry saffron. That's an unfixable bug, but it should time out in a couple of years. You could try responding literally, but that may create further bugs.

YorkieDorkie · 02/06/2016 21:31

Ahhhh!!!!! My DBaby has just broken too!!! Each time I try to power it down it just fires back up again!! There's no way I'm going to be able to rescue the battery for tomorrow Confused. DH is currently trying to find a way to remove the back up power but it just seems never ending.

HSMMaCM · 02/06/2016 21:52

My 1999 model has lost its homing device. Only reappears about once every 3 days !

sallyhasleftthebuilding · 02/06/2016 22:02

My 1999 model has lost its homing device. Only reappears about once every 3 days !

The newer models have a "find me" app linked to an iCloud account -

Have you looked to see if you can down load an upgrade?

OrlandaFuriosa · 02/06/2016 22:44

If you want an effective homing device, see my second or so post about apps and add ons. V effective. But functioning carries costs. . expensive.

melawski · 03/06/2016 03:40

I have a 2013 model and he goes from 0 - 100 in 5 seconds. Currently in the thick of winter it is discharging a green thick goop from it's nose. I'm sure it's faulty and the warranty has definitely expired, but with consumer rights expecting a reasonable length of the product acting as described I'm sure I have a chance of getting the some sort of consumer returns action going on.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/06/2016 03:42

Unfortunately, melawski, returning it to the manufacturer is going to be a bit tricky... Grin

BIWI · 03/06/2016 08:10

Anyone worked out how to get their models to connect to your phone? I know I have a signal, and good reception, but both my models appear to have a fault in terms of receiving and responding to any calls or texts I make.

I'm wondering if there's incompatibility with their smart phones and the Motherboard?

momtothree · 03/06/2016 08:21

I'm wondering if there's incompatibility with their smart phones and the Motherboard?

That's a ROM (read only memory) problem - you may have to try injecting some cash into this issue

mathnerd · 06/06/2016 22:05

I had to join just for this thread. But I found it through a source other than DM. I've spent the last day practically in tears from laughter. I really needed that.

I have 1999, 2001 and 2002 models, all blue. The 1999 model is a joy, but has some manufacturing defects that cause skeletal system bugs. The 2002 model has the same defect, though he's a bit worse off and the "legs" app doesn't always work, but we've fixed that with the wheelchair patch. Thankfully the specialty service station I take them too is fantastic. The 2002 model just developed the anti-social bug, at least with the home units, but based on my experience with the 1999 model, this should be self-limiting and resolve itself in a couple years.

Unfortunately the 2001 downloaded the "drug addiction" malware. It's been a tough fix, but it seems to be finally working. There's frequently short relapses, but those are becoming shorter and farther between.

My 1953 model DP didn't seem to come standard with the "how to deal with troubled teens" app, but he did come with the "fix everything around the house like a pro" expansion pack, so we just send him to fix broken things in order to reboot.

Lweji · 06/06/2016 22:09

BIWI, check that the sound is on full blast and vibrate shake is on too.
Failing that, turn off all peripherals. Grin It tends to focus the main hardware pretty sharp.

123therearenomoreusernames · 06/06/2016 22:19

I have a blue 2002 model who went into sleep mode some months ago and only rarely emerges.

Although today he did hoover and wash a floor. I am wondering if this is a temporary bug fix or a much overdue update. He's obviously after something

PacificDogwod · 06/06/2016 22:25

mathnerd, sounds like you can do with all the technical support you can get - glad this fred gave some light relief Thanks

My 2003 MkI model has developed autocorrect and I cannot figure out how to disable it which is annoying as his autofill is rarely what I actually wanted to say.
2004 MkII model mainly smells bad Confused - not sure technology could smell bad, but this one does. Weird.
2008 MkIII model is faulty, auditory input is not working due to problems with erosion and leakage. He will require to go to a specialist service station and some welding will need to be done.
2010 MkIV appears to not have been fitted with any kind of logic circuits and is very noise at unpredictable intervals which can be irksome. I am hoping an upgrade will be along soon.