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Original poster

I am sitting in with Shiney and her plumber has just texted her to say

536 replies

BitOfFun · 12/12/2009 23:55

...from "Hello, hope you're well, if i don't see you beforehand, hope you have a nice Christmas"

after a brief comment along the lines of "You'll be pleased to know my plumbing is in full working order" (possibly with my evil encouragement...), he has now replied saying

" I want to kiss with tongues. I want to kiss, stroke, lick and suck boobs and nipples. I want to gently stroke the inside of thighs." There is more, but I'm sure you can imagine...

What?!

Any thighs and nipples? Not hers in particular then? I am hoping she will send back "I want to suck penises"...do you dare us?

OP posts:
IQuibbleThereforeIAm · 14/12/2009 12:42

Just text him and say 'I'm really sorry, but I think my brother and his mates may have got hold of my phone the other night and sent you some stupid texts, if so please ignore!'

StretchAndBitsOfTinsel · 14/12/2009 12:46

God, what a thread! I feel I ought to change my name now [boak]

Rindercella · 14/12/2009 12:49

Stretch, never was there a nickname more appropriate than yours on this thread

SnotBaby · 14/12/2009 12:50

I have been reading snippets of this to DH (as he wants to know why I keep saying "BAAAAAAAAAAAAA!") and he can't believe it, I think he considered Mumsnet to be all breastfeeding advice and polite biscuity politics.

He has consulted his inner male text perve and believes every word. Thank God he's not a plumber

pixiestix · 14/12/2009 12:52

at Stretch - I am never going to be able to look at your name again without feeling a little queasy

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 14/12/2009 13:10

Tell him you can only get hot on the airwaves
(or wherever texts go when they leave the phone) real life just doesn't do it for you

It's a techno thing

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 14/12/2009 13:17

Afternoon Queed by the way

I think I may have had a visit from THE(perve)PLUMBER, look what happened to the lego

Mamazontopofsantabeingrude · 14/12/2009 13:24

I am totally gutted i missed this.

Cannot wait till we get me Bof reality a nd DWP in theh same room at t he weekend.

goona bring the yellow pages round and start texting plumbers me think

YouKnowStuffingIsForLunch · 14/12/2009 14:12

Poppity

Well done on all th Vizing you did in my absence BTW, are there any duties you had problems with?

RealityIsHungover · 14/12/2009 14:23

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Mamazontopofsantabeingrude · 14/12/2009 14:25

"are you a scouser? i blardy love scousers i do" cousin?? fabbo. will bring some glasses for him to munch on.

I actually cannot wait. though am now starting to [panic that i shall look decidedly silly if im th eonly one dressed up

RealityIsHungover · 14/12/2009 14:28

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Mamazontopofsantabeingrude · 14/12/2009 14:30

well i will wear "the" dress again then.

more so cos i've got nowt else.

though had considered getting my hair gel'd back and coming as Jb himself

RealityIsHungover · 14/12/2009 14:33

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Poledra · 14/12/2009 14:35

I'd go try that dress on, Reality. I wore a dress to my work Christmas do this year that I'd had since I was 22 (which, admittedly, a much longer time ago that your 21st ).

Anyway, dress seemed fine but appeared to get tighter as the evening wore on. I had to unzip it to drive home as I couldn't bear it a minute longer.

I suspect, had I not been driving home (and therefore been drinking) I might have unzipped it at a less private moment.....

I'd never have survived the days of corsets.

RealityIsHungover · 14/12/2009 14:37

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whomovedmychocolate · 14/12/2009 20:59

I need a plumber.....I don't care about the arse sex so long as he can fix my boiler before Christmas

giraffespullthesleigh · 14/12/2009 21:05

was this him?

PrincessFiorimonde · 14/12/2009 21:58

Shineon... I wouldn't have posted last night except that I was bit pissed and certainly grouchy. Also I hadn't seen the other thread.

Apologies if I annoyed you.

twoteens · 14/12/2009 22:37

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BitOfFunWithRudolph · 14/12/2009 22:41

Could this plumber be showing his plums and pipe to other women?

It wasn't North London though, not really. It was the middle of bloody nowhere...and we were on our own...and he wanted to drive over...eeek

nellynaemates · 14/12/2009 22:54

I hate to be another party pooper but I read through the thread and can't help feeling it was a bit unfair on this guy.

I know if the boot was on the other foot and someone did that to me I'd feel utterly humiliated. I've got no problems with the beginning because you didn't invite that first text and it was funny but you should have set him straight, not goaded him on and published the results.

You can all roll your eyes and yawn at me if you like! I just think if there had been a role reversal and someone had posted after finding out this happened to them they would get sympathy, not told to get a sense of humour.

Rollergirl1 · 14/12/2009 22:55

This guy is gonna hassle you now. If you haven't already then you deffo need to respond saying that your phone was in someone elses hands that night and that you're not expecting any further correspondence.

Wouldn't wanna be ya...

twoteens · 14/12/2009 23:04

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BitOfFunWithRudolph · 14/12/2009 23:12

It's standard wanky text stuff. The odd thing was how quick he was to get into it. I'm sure it's harmless enough.