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Original poster

I am sitting in with Shiney and her plumber has just texted her to say

536 replies

BitOfFun · 12/12/2009 23:55

...from "Hello, hope you're well, if i don't see you beforehand, hope you have a nice Christmas"

after a brief comment along the lines of "You'll be pleased to know my plumbing is in full working order" (possibly with my evil encouragement...), he has now replied saying

" I want to kiss with tongues. I want to kiss, stroke, lick and suck boobs and nipples. I want to gently stroke the inside of thighs." There is more, but I'm sure you can imagine...

What?!

Any thighs and nipples? Not hers in particular then? I am hoping she will send back "I want to suck penises"...do you dare us?

OP posts:
dizzycringles · 13/12/2009 23:05

ah feck Sazz, shown up twice on one thread shall have to start learning my manners/ morales AND days of the week

MollieO · 13/12/2009 23:09

Well I thought it was very very funny and I don't know Shiny, BOF or Shiny's plumber.

Rindercella · 13/12/2009 23:11

Bet you wish you did know Shiney's plumber though Mollie, eh?

Rollergirl1 · 13/12/2009 23:13

Shineon: I'm sorry, it must seem like a personal attack. I just thought it was a bit lazy taking the piss out of some poor guys' texts, who as far as he is concerned, is getting the right amount of interest back.

And then when I thought about the other threads i've read of yours, which I have admittedly enjoyed and laughed at, I just started to wonder if you weren't just a bit of a wind-up merchant.

I'm probably borrowing myself deeper, but I don't generally help myself.

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/12/2009 23:18

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supersalstrawberry · 13/12/2009 23:22

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HerBeatitude · 13/12/2009 23:22

"now the whole of mumsnet thinks he's a cock cos you decided to lead him on by text and make him look like a twat."

Er no, he made himself look like a twat. Shiney didn't tell him what to text, he decided to talk about arse stretching all by himself. (Love the tradesman's entrance remark whoever made it btw

MollieO · 13/12/2009 23:24

Actually his crass crudeness does remind me of an exp who did retrain to become a plumber .

Rollergirl1 I've reported your thread as it seems pretty personal to me.

dizzycringles · 13/12/2009 23:29

ah Shiney noooooooooooooooooooooooo, don't be upset please was a great thread and is destined to be a classic I mean come on, in how many other threads do you get bum sex and trolling accusations, MN meet ups and tradesmen's entrances all in one?!?

you are MN genius and don't dare forget it

mrsboogiefairylights · 13/12/2009 23:34

arse stretching? its too late to read the whole thing now..what page is the arse- stretching part on?

dizzycringles · 13/12/2009 23:35

its pretty much a theme the whole way through you should take you time and read it over a cup of tea in the morning, just don't spray it on your monitor !!

night all

Original poster
BitOfFun · 13/12/2009 23:36

Pages are the work of the devil- go to Customise and get one big page!

OP posts:
POTC · 13/12/2009 23:37

This sounds just like the carpenter that my estates management company send out He also turns a seemingly innocent text into an excuse to send porn style ones Weirdos!!!

PrincessFiorimonde · 13/12/2009 23:48

Shineon, I have read several of your threads and found them really funny. The penguin thread had me agog/aghast/amused for days. And I say nothing of the squirty cream...

So please don't get this wrong - but I agree with Rollergirl when she said 'I just thought it was a bit lazy taking the piss out of some poor guys' texts, who as far as he is concerned, is getting the right amount of interest back.'

That's how this has all read to me too.

Ok, I'll now go away and get over myself, as I daresay other posters might suggest.

VinegarTinselTits · 13/12/2009 23:57

god some people need to loosen up, maybe a bit of arse stretching would go a miss on MN tonight

nobody held a gun to the 'poor' guys head and made him text dirty, come on its doesnt take much with some men does it! i'm sure he got a wank and a laugh out of it, dont feel sorry for him

Original poster
BitOfFun · 14/12/2009 00:04

Yeah, this thread is really starting to bum me out.

OP posts:
mrsboogiefairylights · 14/12/2009 00:05

customise?? one big page?

/licks pencil

/makes notes

VicarInaTinselTuTu · 14/12/2009 00:08

this has given me a real laugh tonight and cheered me up no end.

if the bloke was daft enough to, ahem, chance his arm (or fingers as the case may be!) in the first place then he deserves all he gets! bloody hell, he was texting porn to a women he has met all of twice! so no i wouldnt feel sorry for him either - shiney probably saved him a bob or two on 0898 numbers!

but shiney how in gods name are you ever going to pick up a phone and tell your boiler is overdue a service!!! mine is, but my plumber looks like Jim Royal off the Royale Family....

Original poster
BitOfFun · 14/12/2009 00:09

It is the way to go. Makes skimming the big threads much easier.

OP posts:
BackUpYourPhotosNow · 14/12/2009 00:16

but bof, I like to be able to click on a name and go to that point in the discussion, at the moment that isn't working for me so then I discovered some of the threads are a big page some are lots of little pages, I've tried changing stuff in customise but its still pants and takes be to the begining of each thread.....

sorry am rambling should be in bed and not making much sense due to calorie control

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 14/12/2009 00:19

Yikes! Missed all this tonight and have to go to bed now, just to say I haven't read all the lastest, but Shiney and BOF, I'm on your side if rqd

hairymelons · 14/12/2009 00:21

This is why you shouldn't randomly start sending porno texts, it may well end up on the internet.
As above, he had a wank or 3. I don't think anyone needs to feel sorry for him. Arse-stretching oddball.

VicarInaTinselTuTu · 14/12/2009 00:32

is anyone else presuming that this guy probably hasnt really had sex with like a real women...yet...ever?

he seemed to think ladeez like to have their arses stretched, followed by bumsex, followed by a good ole blow job to finish the job...im sure all us girls would have been totally satisfied by that then! NOT!

wanker. (probably literally)

PoppityMerryGentlemen · 14/12/2009 10:31

Oh, I see the headteacher arrived and spoiled the fun.

There's always one.....

I think she needs rewiring, know a good electrician anyone?

RumourOfAHurricane · 14/12/2009 10:40

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