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Original poster

Carers kissing children??

203 replies

Magic69 · 20/05/2013 19:29

Hi there I wanted to ask mummies how they feel about childrens key workers kissing the children.

My son's key worker met him at the annual summer fete and she picked him up lovingly and for a good 5 mintues slobbered on him, kissing him endlessly on both cheeks.

I was shocked......i didnt say anything at the time (kicking myself) but i am thinking of writing an official complaint to the nursery manager.

I felt it was inappropriate, not to mention cold sores. I personally would never kiss another child, and if i were to i couldnt slober on them incessently...surly a peck would have sufficed?

does anyone see where i am coming from?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Shinyshoes1 · 20/05/2013 19:33

does anyone see where I'm coming from ?

No I dont . I think what she did was harmless but then ive never been in that situation. She obviously cares for him very much

FarelyKnuts · 20/05/2013 19:34

Did she really slobber all over your child? Seriously? Might you be exaggerating just a wee bit for effect?

And no, I couldn't give a shiny shite if my childminder kissed my child on the cheek (coldsores more likely to be transmitted by mouth to mouth contact). I think it's lovely.

BUT.. if it bothered you why on earth didn't you just say "would you mind not doing that?" at the time?

sleepdodger · 20/05/2013 19:34

Dc nursery do kisses
I'm pleased they show true interest emotion and affection
It's hugs and cuddles
If they didn't get them there they would have no daytime affection 5 days a week Hmm
Would I let a stranger anywhere near them
No way
Would a stranger want slobbery children on them probably not Grin

SoupDragon · 20/05/2013 19:36

"not to mention cold sores"

The cold sores you didn't mention she had or the ones she didn't have at all?

notapizzaeater · 20/05/2013 19:36

I'd be delighted - my ds (10) still throws his arms round his fav teachers for a hug.

Scruffey · 20/05/2013 19:37

My ds's teacher kissed him on the head at school - i know because ds told me. He's 7. Lucky ds!

MousyMouse · 20/05/2013 19:38

I'd be happy that dc has such loving involved carers.

mervynmouse · 20/05/2013 19:40

The carers at our nursery kissed and cuddled the children and I also thought it was lovely and great to see that they had genuine affection for them. If you're really worried about coldsores you could have a chat with whoever is in charge and make sure everyone knows to be careful if they have one but I would have thought they are aware.

Sirzy · 20/05/2013 19:43

I think its great he has carers who care.

Original poster
Magic69 · 20/05/2013 19:47

BUT.. if it bothered you why on earth didn't you just say "would you mind not doing that?" at the time?
------------

i know i should have done.....i am kicking myself

I am writing to the nursery to complain about the situation

Its not that i dont want the staff to be affectionate but there are limits.....i was just very uncomfortable with it

OP posts:
lostinindia · 20/05/2013 19:47

Id be sad if they were told they couldn't kiss and cuddle the children. I think its lovely that your DS keyworker is so fond of your son. My heart would melt if I saw nursery staff do the same to my DC.

Sirzy · 20/05/2013 19:48

why are you uncomfortable though? what harm is it doing?

GColdtimer · 20/05/2013 19:49

An official complaint? Really? That is ridiculous. I think it's lovely she cares about him so much. Did it upset him? Doesn't sound like it.

looseleaf · 20/05/2013 19:51

Funny to read this just after my thought at a playgroup today. I was struck by how much affection and interaction the children with family caring for them got (there was a dad, couple of grannies and mums) compared to some unusually useless IMO nannies who just sat and ignored their charges. I think it's unusual as seen fabulous relationships at nursery with non-family members but in light of my morning I'd say you're astonishingly lucky as long as it didn't annoy your DC or wasn't put on for show because you we're there (sounds possible?)

NumTumDeDum · 20/05/2013 19:52

Are you feeling displaced in some way? Personally, I would rather that my dd felt able to form an affectionate attachment with her carers. She's 4 and needs that during the day. I can't see any reason why that is worthy of complaint. If she'd been cold and discouraged your child from physical contact, would that have been better in your view?

seeker · 20/05/2013 19:53

Well obviously you've made up your mind. But it might be worth considering that nobody agrees with you......

WidowWadman · 20/05/2013 19:54

My children's nursery nurses do, and are in general very affectionate with the children, and the children show the same affection for them. I like it that way, as I know that they're in an environment, where they're loved and where they love to be.

looseleaf · 20/05/2013 19:54

Ps it was an unusually bad example today though as the playgroup organisers twice told a nanny to watch her charge more and she still didnt and it almost got quite heated between them as the little boy twice got his fingers stuck in a heavy door as he tried to open it unsupervised

lurcherlover · 20/05/2013 19:54

My son adores his key worker and talks about him all the time. She is really affectionate and often kisses his cheek. I think it's lovely and it makes me feel better about putting him in nursery really.

I think it's really sad that you're complaining. You'd have a lot more to be worried about if she wasn't loving towards your child.

SauvignonBlanche · 20/05/2013 19:55

You're complaining about staff caring about your child? Hmm

OlyRoller · 20/05/2013 19:55

Please don't write and complain. You will make the carer feel self-conscious and cautious instead of relaxed and natural.

I agree it would be wrong for a child should be deprived of cuddles and kisses and real affection while they're in care. Just hold your tongue and as long as your child is happy, consider it no big deal.

motherinferior · 20/05/2013 19:56

My childminder did lots of kisses and cuddles. Hell, I do lots of kisses and cuddles when I get my paws on a toddler now mine are bigger.

DerbyNottsLeicsNightNanny · 20/05/2013 19:58

My childminder gives my ds (3) a kiss sometimes, I felt a bit weird when I first saw her do this but actually I think its quite sweet & shows she really likes himSmile

StrawberryMojito · 20/05/2013 20:00

Please don't make the complaint. Instead consider the thought that your child might benefit from having a key worker that is that fond of them.

I absolutely cannot see where you are coming from. My DS was in nursery 3.5 days a week from 10 months and I wanted him to have as much affection as possible from the staff as he loves his cuddles. Luckily, they were only too happy to oblige. He still knows who his mummy is but is very settled and happy at nursery.

BoysRule · 20/05/2013 20:00

When my DSs childminder told me she kissed him night night when she put him down for his lunch time nap I was delighted. Children need to feel loved and adored by adults other than their parents. It is an important part of their development to have meaningful relationships with other adults.

I can understand that you personally might not be comfortable with it, but I think that is how you should approach the situation. It's not 'complaint worthy' it is just a personal preference.