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Original poster

Carers kissing children??

203 replies

Magic69 · 20/05/2013 19:29

Hi there I wanted to ask mummies how they feel about childrens key workers kissing the children.

My son's key worker met him at the annual summer fete and she picked him up lovingly and for a good 5 mintues slobbered on him, kissing him endlessly on both cheeks.

I was shocked......i didnt say anything at the time (kicking myself) but i am thinking of writing an official complaint to the nursery manager.

I felt it was inappropriate, not to mention cold sores. I personally would never kiss another child, and if i were to i couldnt slober on them incessently...surly a peck would have sufficed?

does anyone see where i am coming from?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Thurlow · 20/05/2013 20:41

A complaint? That's a massive overreaction. Imagine how the keyworker will feel when she hears of it. She cares for your DC and shows him affection, and instead of thanks all she gets is you complaining about. Do you really think your DC will have as nice a time at nursery after you've complained and everyone knows not to be affectionate with him?

Honestly, it smacks of you having some serious issues. It sounds like you are guilty about someone else caring for your DC.

My CM kisses and cuddles her mindees all the time, it was one of the reasons I chose her. DC gets kissed all the time at home, I hated the thought of her then not getting any physical affection the days she was with the CM.

All I can think is your poor DS Sad

MissBlennerhassett · 20/05/2013 20:43

Don't write the letter.

fishybits · 20/05/2013 20:44

One of the questions I asked at each nursery whilst looking for the right one for DD was " are you happy to pick up and cuddle DD". I am delighted that DD runs into the room every morning looking for her key worker and a cuddle.

Your op makes me Sad for your son.

Shaky · 20/05/2013 20:45

Blimey, I'm a midwife and I kissed a toddler in my clinic last week. I looked after the lady during her last pregnancy and did all her post natal care. She is pregnant again and at the end of the appointment the woman gave me a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Consequently the toddler held her arms out for the same.

Disclaimer - I do not have any cold sores.

Would you be pissed off if your midwife showed obvious love and affection for you and your child?

Wishihadabs · 20/05/2013 20:49

Dd was in nursery from 5months. Every morning (but especially when they hadn't sen each other for 4 days) dd put her arms out for her care worker, who then gave her a lovely kiss. What's not to like ?

WouldBeHarrietVane · 20/05/2013 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrspaddy · 20/05/2013 20:51

I am a Special Needs Teacher and while I don't kiss children I do use gesture - rub on the head etc. Some children are tactile defensive so obviously don't then.

I do not think you should write the letter. The woman was being genuine. She sounds like a lovely lady.

Please god when I have my baby, it will see love and affection from family and carers alike.

zippey · 20/05/2013 20:51

The OP is in a minority of one though. I would delighted if people showed that kind of affection to my little one! Hugs and kisses are good things surely! You are being unreasonable!

Shaky · 20/05/2013 20:53

I do not mind the nursery nurses kissing my child. Often when he is leaving at night, he puckers up for a kiss from whoever he is saying goodbye to. He is a born flirt.

showtunesgirl · 20/05/2013 20:56

Seriously? Hmm

My DD's CM kisses her when I drop her off and also when I pick her up. She gives DD cuddles and says all that time that she loves her. I personally am really happy that her carer likes her so much and she has really become part of their family when she is in their care.

sweetiepie1979 · 20/05/2013 20:59

God this thread is so frustrating you should be pleased they are so find of your dc. You sound like a cold fish and if this was my child's nursery if be furious if they all decided they wouldn't kiss and cuddle the kids because one paranoid bad feeling parent complained. How can you think this way? It's so sad

ReetPetit · 20/05/2013 21:08

sorry op but omg, if you actually make a complaint you are going to make yourself look ridiculous and be a complete laughing stock.

talk about pfb. think yourself lucky that this woman actually likes your child enough to kiss him, jesus, carers can't win can they? Hmm

LaVitaBellissima · 20/05/2013 21:09

I love that my girls get cuddles at nursery, it makes me feel much more secure that they are happy and looked after.

ReetPetit · 20/05/2013 21:09

you also actually sound very insecure and jealous. this thread says more about you than the carer....

please consider why this made you feel you so uncomfortable, this is your issue, clearly.

showtunesgirl · 20/05/2013 21:12

And would you really never ever kiss another child? Confused I have always kissed and cuddled the other babies from my antenatal group.

valiumredhead · 20/05/2013 21:12

Children need affection, it it's a basic need.

You should be delighted your child is in a carrying, living environment.

You sound very odd.

valiumredhead · 20/05/2013 21:12

Loving not living

meglet · 20/05/2013 21:15

The staff kiss the children at DD's nursery. It's lovely.

KneeDeepInDaisies · 20/05/2013 21:19

Should my DC not kiss me in case I have imaginary cold sores?

valiumredhead · 20/05/2013 21:20

This is not some random stranger OP, this is someone your child knows and sees all the time, to not show affection would be odd. And I think 5 minutes is probably a ridiculous exaggeration!

Original poster
Magic69 · 20/05/2013 21:24

How would mummies react if it was a man who was kissing and cuddling the kids? I am sure there would be a few more frowns and disapproval on here...will probably suspect him of being a sexual predator...

Ironically women are just as likely to be predators and tend to work in the child care field. Its sad, because we still can't accept that a woman can be capable of bad things, we brush it off and think our kids are safe...that a woman being affectionate is 'normal' when in truth, we don't know that for sure

OP posts:
KenDoddsDadsDog · 20/05/2013 21:25

Are you for real ?

Sirzy · 20/05/2013 21:25

exactly the same. If I trust someone enough to care for my child I trust them enough to show them some appropriate affection.

ReetPetit · 20/05/2013 21:26

oh dear op, i think you need help, you sound very disturbed.... Sad

ReetPetit · 20/05/2013 21:27

the repeated 'mummies' reference is also slightly disturbing.....