Help ds1 has made a large clay cock

[FrannyandZooey]

I mean it is an erect penis. It is in proportion and quite detailed. He didn't intend it for a cock as far as I know - he was just messing about with clay, but the finished model is quite unmistakeably in the shape of a man's genitalia. It has a bell end and everything.

Normally when ds has made a model we varnish it and put it on the windowsill. He is very proud of this model. Wtf am I going to do? I have the health visitor coming round this week and it is not really going to impress her is it.

Brandy sauce would be more realistic

Perhaps in your house.

don't know if anyone has already suggested it, but how about putting it in the garden, it would make a lovely sundial.

aaaand it would be a quite legitimate large clay clock...

Wow, what a fine, upstanding model

DP reckons you should try and sneak it into the background of as many family photographs as humanly possible for ever more - a lasting record of his contribution to the art world!

rofl

lol mr lionstar, oh yes.

ACtually did I ever tell you about one of those converstations from my childhood? When my sister aged about 11 asked what sperm looked like? This was following a 'birds and bees' And my dad answered:

'Kind of like parsley sauce'

'Without the parsley though...'

you could put a cocktail umbrella on it as it's summer

OMG that is the funniest thing ever! How old is DS?

And how did you react when he (proudly? - scuse the pun...) showed you?

LOL; please ask him what he believes he has made; what was it supposed to be? I'd love to know!

I'll give oyu a fiver for it. My MIL needs a door stop.

Fabulous, fabulous. Your ds is a thing of wonder, F&Z. As is his ever-hardening cocknturd creation.

How very, erm, phallic < titters >

Maybe the leaning tower in Pisa?

Had a similar experience at playschool when the children where given wax squares which siftebed in your hands and then had to shape them into candles... Some lovely results, quite similar in effect to your ds's model. Found myself explaining to the parents when they were given said candles to take home, though can't remember what I babbled on about...

Maybe your ds will make something equally as magnificant with this product too.

www.yellowmoon.org.uk/product-Handmade-Candle-Kit-M775.htm

Wish someone had given me the instructions and example pictures when they left me in charge of that activity, though I don't think it wuold have made any difference. The children were determined in what shape candles should be!

Oh have just seen this and am totally PMSL - that is fantastic Franny! A work of genius. You MUST MUST MUST have it out when the HV comes!

I have read this thread title as "clock" too and finally thought to actuall read it, well I had to clean the laptop screen as it ended up with my warm milk all over it.

Keep it - it is fantastic and will always amke you smile

That is sooooooo funny.

Thankyou for the laugh.

Oh my god, it would have to put a smile on your face every time you looked at it.

Definatly give it to him when he is older, in front of all his friends and even family.
I like the idea of printing out this thread and using it as wrapping.

That has "wedding speech" written all over it.

I've had a crap afternoon and that really helped to relieve the pressure.

My God.

It needs to be in Ann Summers.