Help ds1 has made a large clay cock

[FrannyandZooey]

I mean it is an erect penis. It is in proportion and quite detailed. He didn't intend it for a cock as far as I know - he was just messing about with clay, but the finished model is quite unmistakeably in the shape of a man's genitalia. It has a bell end and everything.

Normally when ds has made a model we varnish it and put it on the windowsill. He is very proud of this model. Wtf am I going to do? I have the health visitor coming round this week and it is not really going to impress her is it.

Ah Jeez, F&Z, just the title of this thread made me cry with laughter. Now I'm going to have fun reading the thread... Back soon.

Oh Franny that is priceless
lololol

Ahaaahaahahahahahha, F&Z - he's 5?

He's a farking genius is what he is.

you know what you really need to do with it, don't you?

Set it up as a water feature...

OMG I am so glad that someone else has a phallocentric child. DD also has a knack for producing 'challenging works'. See profile for 'The Snail' and 'The Man With a Hat'.

in pain now after wilfsell's idea

omg @ "snail"
they could collaborate

Ah, the rubber fanny in East is East. One of my all-time favourite wetting-pants films.

ohforfuckingfucksakes! that is HILARIOUS!

It's very good, Franny. You need to keep that. But perhaps hide it from HV tomorrow. We don't want you to be carted away. I suppose you could always say DP made it, if that is any better?

I have never actually CRIED with laughter at a Mumsnet thread before,(though was close on the "Cube of poo" and childbirth thread where the woman pinned the doc to the wall with her fanjo after unfortunate epidural experience) but this thread has seen me ROFLMAO and I have tears rolling down cheeks at the sight of your ds's masterpiece......Absolutely priceless.It has to be in MN classics and the thread title itself makes quote of the week

oh that is genius.
pmsl.

Can't wait to see his vulva...

I like the red teddy-bear-shape cutter in the background

"We won't need THAT today mummy!"

That is just incredible!!

You could keep it by the front door and use it to brain burglars.

I can just see the headline - "ROBBER KNOB-LED BY CLAY COCK! Mother says 'I had no idea my son's craft would have such impact'."

OH yes, where are MNHQ to label you a classic?

Anyhow, let's face it: if you haven't fired it yet, it's gonna go limp shortly . He'll be very disappointed when he wakes up with a lazy lob.

Then you may have to help him out with a little hand action to make it, er, proud again.

I've only read a few posts so far but ROFL at "looking at me with one eye" and "come and see what mummy lets me have as a treat"

I'm crying with laughter too - that is brilliant. Am liking the snail, too.

Great minds, Califrau - I was thinking it'd be a wonderful wedding present

Make sure you take some good pics of him proudly showing his creation - will make a great T shirt print at his 18th

F&Z your son is really talented!! Has your DH seen it?

I think you should paint it blue and put it in your window as a tribute to your neighbours - it is them with the blue tree IIRC isn't it

those aren't testicles though, are they?
more like a big curly turd

Oh, my word!

ROFL at this thread and the pic. OMG the boy is truly a genius!