Was anyone else at Snape Maltings today? Did Alan get his table?

[WonderfulSmith]

Before I start I know it’s none of my business and I’m a bad person I’m sure but…

I was at Snape Maltings today which is a nice arts centre with a lovely shop selling all sorts of home wares and furniture. It’s very quiet and sedate.
Anyway, a woman started yelling at her husband. The whole place was pretending not to listen while giving each other looks. Turned out that he had ordered a perfectly innocent side table without talking to her about it first. She demanded that he cancel the order and he refused. He sat down on a sofa in the shop and she went and sat in the car. Every so often she’d come back and stick her head around the door, tell him the table was disgusting, and stomp back out.

When we left, Alan was still sat on the sofa. But I want to know how it ended. Are they still there now? Did Alan cancel the order?

Were any of you there?

I know someone who is going on a coach trip to said venue on Saturday. Not from the SW of England though.
I have asked them to enquire about Alan's table.

This is the thread I’ve been waiting for.

Over to you Alan. 🎤

I have a friend visiting SM later, she is well known there and going to ask what happened.

I feel totally invested in Alan and need to know how this ends

@OneRedSquid , text your friend a wee reminder, we ( I ) NEED to know

So, I went to Snape Maltings yesterday and looked out for the possible table. Quite a few side tables. I did wonder if it was this one?

The top looks a bit wobbly to put a cup or a glass on.

If that's the table I'm switching allegiance to #teamAlan'swife.

Me too!

Bloody hell, those tables are god awful.

Wobbly impractical dust-collecting tables!

Holy crap! Fugly tables. Look like a cross between a tin can lid and one of those candles that priests “accidentally fall on when they are putting up curtains” and then have to go to A&E. 🤣

I agree @FortuneFaded. Worst tables there by a long chalk.

Think of the dusting.

@AnnaQuayInTheUk 😱
I wonder if they are very aware of this thread and have put them in for a joke?

They weren’t the ones, sorry. Did you ask about Alan?

Alison Steadman absolutely although my imagined Alan is Roger Sloman.

I also imagine Alison’s character is called Marjory and Marjory is wearing a navy pleated skirt, lemon blouse and navy quilted gilet. Alan would be in brown corduroy trousers coupled with a loose fitting pastel smart casual shirt with a subtle pattern, tucked in of course.

Oh gosh I thought they were stools. I wouldn’t want to risk putting my drinks on a stool.

I hope she does. My 'undercover agent' that went recently completely forgot to ask because "there was so much to see and do there". Pathetic! 😄

What kind of an excuse is that?

@IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal after that pathetic excuse can you still consider them a friend?

I could be Mrs Alan. Dh likes random shit. Everything he buys that does not pass muster , he has to keep in his study. Usually within 6 months, he agrees with me and it’s on EBay or car boot. Luckily so far not a table. He did choose our dining table to be fair, it ain’t half bad.

They've been nobbled by Alan or his wife...

@FortuneFaded totally emotionally invested in that. What a plot twist, brought a tear to my eye…

#teamalan

Well this is the thing - I suppose just about!

Incidentally, I know a few Alans, but have been able to confirm that none of them were the legendary Alan of Snape Maltings.

Pleased to learn that wasn't the table, it might not have been a stool but it's definitely shit. So I can switch my allegiance back to #team Alan.