Was anyone else at Snape Maltings today? Did Alan get his table?

[WonderfulSmith]

Before I start I know it’s none of my business and I’m a bad person I’m sure but…

I was at Snape Maltings today which is a nice arts centre with a lovely shop selling all sorts of home wares and furniture. It’s very quiet and sedate.
Anyway, a woman started yelling at her husband. The whole place was pretending not to listen while giving each other looks. Turned out that he had ordered a perfectly innocent side table without talking to her about it first. She demanded that he cancel the order and he refused. He sat down on a sofa in the shop and she went and sat in the car. Every so often she’d come back and stick her head around the door, tell him the table was disgusting, and stomp back out.

When we left, Alan was still sat on the sofa. But I want to know how it ended. Are they still there now? Did Alan cancel the order?

Were any of you there?

I hope he ordered the matching coffee table as well before he left.

Same. I tolerate the pictures he brought with him.

But if he spent £175 on something for the house that I didn't help choose, when money was tight (for instance) I would be rightly cross.

We once witnessed an epic family row at a busy restaurant. Our kids were wide eyed. Realised we had deprived them of a dramatic upbringing as we never really have rows.

TBF I don't much like those tables either.

More importantly, what sort of dog?

It’s not a table I would pick either.

Small type dog. I couldn’t really look. You’ve never seen a place so full of people very closely inspecting candlesticks and soap while not looking.

I bet it isn't

That table KNOWS shit, and Mrs Alan is running SCARED

Team Alan here of course.

They are on instagram but no Alan update.

You're obviously all very polite in Snape. I'm not sure I could have looked away.

Alan's spending the night on the sofa at Snape Maltings

FWIW I like the table.

I wonder why he ordered a table (a household purchase) while his wife was actually in the vicinity and DIDN'T ask her opinion.

I'm thinking Alan's a bit of an arse tbh.

Nah I'm Team Alan. He's had years of her making all the decisions and just this once he wants a table the right height for his cup of tea, so he doesn't have to just sit holding it all the way through the Sewing Bee (which his wife chooses to watch). I hope he didn't back down this time like he did over the leather reclining armchair last year.

OP, obvs you need to go back tomorrow in dark glasses and false moustache, and say in a disguised voice,

"My friend Alan was in here buying a table.... I'm ever so keen to get one just the same, which one was it?"

This will provide a natural, convincing opener for you to ask the staff all about it.

It’s not a heinous side table. Certainly nothing to warrant a public spat. Still #TeamAlan, but mostly because I like his “I’m in trouble, I’m not going to cancel though”. It’s Last of the Summer Wine, 21st century style (is Snape Maltings in Yorkshire, I wonder?).

@Karistyleaftea Henry Moore not Hepworth (misses point of thread completely).

Sounds like Alan finally snapped.

He may end up being kicked out of the house and living in an empty studio flat with just his side table for comfort though.

This puts me in mind of a row i witnessed in a service station car park. A car pulled up facing me in the row in front of us when I was waiting in the car with the dogs while DH had a wee. It contained a very well-heeled-looking middle aged couple having an absolutely blazing row. I couldn't hear it but I could see them screaming and gesturing at each other, and then she got out and stormed into the service station. He put his head in his hands and sobbed for a couple of minutes, and then just started the car and drove off onto the motorway. I was dying to wait and see her reaction when she came out and found herself stranded but DH, who hasn't seen the drama, was having none of it so I will never know.

I hope Alan got his table. I like it!

MrsAlan will be OK though, she's got the dog.

Cromer Mountain Warehouse a couple of weeks ago: wife picks up back-pack; husband very cross, has multiple reasons why she shouldn’t buy it (it’s too small, she’s already got one, etc) culminating in “It’ll be a complete waste of money JUST LIKE THE SHOES”.

I really really want to know about the shoes.

I thought this was something to do with Professor Snape and Alan Rickman.

I was at Snape Maltings on Wednesday this week. Gutted I missed Alan.

(is Snape Maltings in Yorkshire, I wonder?).

It’s in Suffolk, near Ipswich!

Ick. His wife has a point….

I bought a much nicer table this week in B & M for a tenner.

It's not Alan, it's Ste.

(Crawls away hoping someone gets the rather niche joke)