The wholesome village Facebook page 🙄

[AngelicaElizaAndPeggy]

What's kicking off on yours this evening? A police car has just been spotted by someone who has eagerly reported it on our page- everyone is now going nuts in the comments but secretly I know for a fact they're all really nosey and want to know if the kids have set fire to the bus stop again.

Last week the same kids were all named and shamed in some CCTV footage from someone's doorbell cam and it all became hugely messy.

A mum has also been selling Christmas glasses that look like they're full of gin but are actually candles. You can have your name written on for an extra fiver.

Today's is perfect. Someone has recorded every post over the last 48 hours and posted a list, seriously 🤣🤣. I was going to screen shot and it's been deleted by admin! Damn you for being efficient. Argh. All the responses were it's ok mate, we are happy with the local adds, it's difficult times.

They have now posted to ask why their post highlighting posts that go against the group description:guidelines has been deleted instead of the:

Adverts for local businesses - most of which are tiny, and just letting us all know what they can currently offer.

Adverts for the local food bank

Some bizarre late night photos of a local piss head wearing a bad wig....it only has one like, it was probably posted there in error or on purpose by one of their mates.

Posts offering furniture for free or really cheap.

Posts asking for local recommendations - apparently this is the only acceptable use of the village Facebook page 😇

Ooooh and apparently a really snarky cryptic post about another deleted post ...

I find a certain humour in the irony that the original poster is now also a snarky poster about a deleted post.

An ambulance has just passed someone's window with blue lights flashing.

Someone else has seen the ambulance and heard the siren.

Someone else can hear the siren but cannot yet see the ambulance.

A police car has passed the first person's window but going in the opposite direction.

Awaiting updates.

Virgin media is down Last week it was BT.
Local restaurant wants to know how much demand there will.be for takeaway meals.
Someone wants leftover pumpkins for their animals.
People who have donated to Foodbank are named and praised (fulsomely).

@FatimaMunchy

Virgin media is down Last week it was BT. Local restaurant wants to know how much demand there will.be for takeaway meals. Someone wants leftover pumpkins for their animals. People who have donated to Foodbank are named and praised (fulsomely).

Oh yes, one person on my local is weirdly obsessed with their broadband and sky signals.

Ours is currently an ongoing firework saga. Lots of people setting them off over the last few days and lots of people understandably a bit put out by it. Then lots of other people telling the disgruntled people that they are kill joys and moaners.

The entitlement of all of them is quite something.

The Police have been in the next village and the High Street was cordoned off at 5am. Any Police presence causes a flurry of excitement, but speculation is rife. Possibly a stabbing.

People saying they've found chalk marks, string tied around a tree or other stuff that's obviously marking their house, as they have a dog. Theirs also dozens of vans, driven by Irish men apparently!!, who are also on.the lookout for dogs. I asked if anyone had had their dogs stolen, but the replies were all " No, because we're being vigilant, and they know they're being watched "

Ours is all about our local MP voting against lockdown. Someone commented, ‘let’s hope he doesn’t have to go to hospital’. Lots of banners informing posters of a planned protest against lockdown about to take place, venue: ‘In front of Burger King’ .

Anyone an admin on a page, and the admins play FB Bingo on the posts?

I just joined a group for the community where we have a holiday cottage overseas. This week posts have been:
Who wants to come for a winter swim in the sea tomorrow morning (the water is apparently about 14 degrees 🥶🥶)
The vacuum toilets are not working again because people (probably holiday renters) keep putting nappies and sanitary towels down the loo
The turning on of the Christmas lights is cancelled due to Covid
The recycling site in the next nearest town is closed now for winter
And my favourite.... dear owners of x holiday home, is your house intentionally open or has someone broken in?

@Ariela

Anyone an admin on a page, and the admins play FB Bingo on the posts?

Not an admin, but my best mate and I play Bingo on the village page.

I just need a reference to immigrants for a full house after teenagers, fireworks, cat shit vs fox shit, school run, parking on the main street, our local MP and the speed people drive through the village at, in the last week.

More firework posts accompanied by photographs and even videos of 'terrified' pets.

Today brings a post about Jehovah’s witnessess, writing to someone’s elderly aunt and scaring them witless somehow.

Seems that as they can’t go out knocking on doors to spread the word, they’re sat with phone books writing actual hand written letters.

Lots of outrage and threats to call the police, they shouldn’t be harassing people like this and they should keep their religion to themselves and not push it on others.

Wouldn’t care but the woman posting is in charge of the town Christmas Shoebox collection for samaritan’s purse with many contributing, and they all think they’re all so wonderful and won’t be told they’re as bad as JW...

Videos of shaking dogs are flooding in.
It’s like a ‘war zone’ out there apparently.

Our village FB page is exclusively:

• warning pet owners about fireworks
• pet owners raging about fireworks whether warned or not
• complaints of dog poo on pavements
• complaints of teenagers not socially distancing outside the co-op
• people asking which roads in and out of village are open and closed
• people sharing dad jokes

Yes, we've got a lot of pets/fireworks posts tonight.

Wow. I thought it was bad living in a gated community’, but village life sounds even worse. 🙄

Today's post is from a woman who helped someone who was unwell in town until an ambulance came. Total virtue signalling, obviously if it's not on fb it didn't happen.

OMG I love this thread... I am a member of 2 local groups and each admin team has an undisguised bias. I often get my posts censored on one group and to be honest, it is cringeworthy, on the second, the bias is so clear, I don't even bother posting on certain subjects.

I love local fb groups. Today we have had someone posting that they are going to set fireworks off at a specific time only to be told how inconsiderate they are. Which was confusing tbh.
A local shop has hung bunting everywhere for some reason.
Someone has lost a dog.
And quite outing I suppose but about 15 posts of blurry pictures of the david attenborough boat which is moored out at sea close to us.
My favourite posts are by a conspiracy theorist that lives here who posts something crazy... the comments blow up and then the post gets deleted. Happens about once a week and its gold.

upthewolves

I think we’re neighbours! 😂

Someone on ours says they've never known such a group for moaning about fireworks.
They clearly haven't read this thread.

Dogs worrying sheep. Farmers worrying about dogs worrying sheep. Vegans complaining farmers were going to kill sheep anyway so shame on them. Country folk complaining vegans shouldn't live in the countryside because they don't "get it".

Sometimes, it's all that gets me through the day.

-Fly tipping
-Complaints against a proposed new house building on the edge of a local country park.

• a weekly breakdown of the counties villages Covid figures
• fireworks
• a recipe for sweetcorn chowder
• how to cope if go into tier 4/lockdown (Scotland here)
• a telephone scam warning.

My local fb page is spectacularly dull at the moment:

• Complaints about or local MP. They are all really piling on. Makes me wonder who all the people were who voted for her in the first place...
• Complaints about fireworks going off.
• Complaints about small dogs barking all night last night - until someone pointed out that it wasn't a dog, but muntjac deer doing whatever muntjac deer do at this time of year.
• The local pubs saying see you next month.
• The supermarket ran out of sparklers.

That's about it.