The wholesome village Facebook page 🙄

[AngelicaElizaAndPeggy]

What's kicking off on yours this evening? A police car has just been spotted by someone who has eagerly reported it on our page- everyone is now going nuts in the comments but secretly I know for a fact they're all really nosey and want to know if the kids have set fire to the bus stop again.

Last week the same kids were all named and shamed in some CCTV footage from someone's doorbell cam and it all became hugely messy.

A mum has also been selling Christmas glasses that look like they're full of gin but are actually candles. You can have your name written on for an extra fiver.

A couple of young men are going door to door pretending to be from BT apparently. Neighbourhood watch have mobilised. It's all go.

We have stray peacock problems too

Our equivalent of 'Is Asda open' is 'is x bridge open' - if it rains heavily the river floods and cuts the bridge off. However, the Highways people tweet about it, if its light you can access the bridge cam and actually see, and then there are the giant yellow signs that are all round the area to tell you. But still we'll get it for the day before, and days after

The peacocks at Henfield have made National news. Radio 4 right now!

@FurForksSake

I am an admin for one of these pages, I have been called a Nazi and a Fascist this week, awesomeness.

Kids throwing stones at cars and generally being shits is the order of the day. It will soon move into firework complaints getting ugly.

Kids throwing stones at cars was on our group! Wonder if it's the same one?

They just mentioned village peacock problems on radio 4! Until this morning I never knew it was a thing.

A cat came into the local petshop.

First firework post has just gone on. Frightened dog/cat/rabbit.

@Hardbackwriter

I particularly enjoy the contrast between that Facebook group for a very middle class, rural village and the group for the more, er, vibrant area where I used to live until recently - one area's idea of crime is someone they don't know driving a van around, while the other was just full of posts saying 'well, the police have raided another crack dealer'

This has just cracked me up 😂

simmering fury about access to FSM
some people are asking for no political discussions, but no one is saying the govt policy is right

Oh god. In no particular order

Bloody kids being intimidating because they are hanging round in the kids hut on the local green. Let's chop their hands off and beat them. Then the adults wonder why the teenagers won't speak to people.

Pot holes.

It must be named person fault. He is the local town and county councillor and apparently is responsible for everything ever. (See above) if anyone thanks him for doing something guarantee his die hard enemies will pile in and say something nasty.

Pot holes

Dog poo

A forin person (ie not white) was in the street today, they were definitely suspicious. Keep an eye out. Log it with 101.

Pot holes

Kids

Town councillors fault. All of the above

Oh and I forgot to add I got banned by the admins because I keep sticking up for the kids and demanding they delete posts threatening violence against children.

And our local Covid expert who posts all sorts of YouTube videos.
My friend is the admin and he argues with her. We have some great banter.

@CMOTDibbler

We have stray peacock problems too

Our equivalent of 'Is Asda open' is 'is x bridge open' - if it rains heavily the river floods and cuts the bridge off. However, the Highways people tweet about it, if its light you can access the bridge cam and actually see, and then there are the giant yellow signs that are all round the area to tell you. But still we'll get it for the day before, and days after

We get things about the bridge and peacocks so I wonder if we are vaguely local.

@en0lagay today we have people getting stuck in the ford?

There are several separate threads and a lot of consternation about someone letting off fireworks this evening.

Other highlights include a drunk man being walked home by police (coupled with 100s of comments from people describing where they saw him), a request for someone to lend the poster their garage for storage, and an argument about free school meals.

It's all go here.

‘Christmas Avon catalogue is available girls!’

Dog poo
Found keys
Lost parcels
“What’s the number for the Hermes driver?”

@SD1978

Dogs off leash (it's illegal in Aus) and why is the helicopter flying around.

Does that mean no games of fetch in the park EVER ? !

Fireworks - noise nuisance and more serious incidents of them being aimed at cars, people and buildings. A local nursery was set on fire, and then the same kids aimed more fireworks at the firefighters. It's like an ASBO version of Fireman Sam.

But then this post made me chuckle:
"Why do folk set off fireworks when it’s still October?! That last one was so loud I nearly knocked over my Christmas tree!!"

The other recurring theme is one dog keeps on escaping from his house and different people then bring him back home and complain about the owners on Facebook. Then the owners turn up and blame their landlord for not fixing a broken door lock. This happens several times a week.
Oh and the dog is called Bolt! 😅

@LolalovesLondon

‘Christmas Avon catalogue is available girls!’

On the subject of Avon and other MLMs we had a good thread on the village website. Back in June someone asked where they could buy face masks and a very enthusiastic (and desperate) Body Shop at Home hun popped up and offered to sell the poster a Himalayan Charcoal face mask or a Ginseng Clay face mask. She just couldn’t understand the mirth and eye roll emojis that followed.

Yes Janet, let me just smear on my face mask and pop a couple of slices of cucumber over my eyes to ward off the virus.

Too many tractors on the road. Oh and it's a village surrounded by fields and its harvest time. But apparently something must be done !!!

This thread is hilarious!! Much needed as historically our village page has been a great source of amusement, with the following being the most prevalent:

Dog poo
Dogs off leads
Is the chip shop open
Who knows the number for the Hermes driver
Dodgy van driving around the village

However, the pandemic seems to have triggered a change in posts, currently it's:

What is happening for Halloween - will there be trick or treating this year?
Local businesses offering free lunches for kids, locals offering to provide food to those businesses for said lunches.
Bank card found in the street along with the name on it, owner of bank card immediately tagged by someone so all done and dusted.
Church window broken.
Boiler service person recommendation needed.
Wedding make-up artist recommendations needed.
Cakes available at the greengrocers.
Jingle for Santa.

I miss the pettiness prior to Covid - everyone is being unusually nice to each other at the moment!

Someone took a shit on the skate park ramp
Halloween - pumpkin trail gang vs trick or treating is ok with social distancing crew
Fireworks- lots of horses round here so there's always passive aggressive 'thanks to who ever was setting off fireworks last night....' type posts
Some cat that's been missing three months now. Huns are desperate for the ability to share this post
Those pesky people on the new estate who are the cause of all the problems in the village because they aren't local

[quote CMOTDibbler]@en0lagay today we have people getting stuck in the ford?[/quote]
Yes, muppets!

Reading this thread reminded me, we are deep into Poppy rage season right now.