Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

[Bluewavescrashing]

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

There are loads of chihuahuas coming out of the woodwork.

this made me do an actual LOL. Ours had been for three walks this week and every day when I've got the lead out you can see her go "oh for fucks sake, AGAIN?!" She really would rather not go.

I absolutely cannot wait to do the food shop

To dc- You're wearing rubber gloves when we take the dog for a walk 😳

You know if you run out of milk you can make some using porridge and water in a blender, it’s quite palatable!

'Don't touch the shopping until I've cleaned it with antibac'
'Do you think the police will question me for going to Tesco's when I went shopping yesterday for MIL'

Me: Can you put an old towel on the table for me to unpack the shopping onto and then we can wipe it all before then put the towel straight in the wash with my clothes.

Dh: do you think it's ok to wash onions?

Leave the parcel, leave the parcel, ok great, now go wash your hands.

What the hell does "furloughed" mean?

Definitely... there’s too much food in the fridge, there’s no space for wine! (I normally pick up fresh stuff every couple of days)

“I’ve been furloughed.”

“Actually,Mum 7.99 is very good value for 18 loo rolls”
I used to buy 9 for about 2 quid in Aldi.🙁

I’m sorry Wilfred (neighbours dog) - I cant pet you at the moment

Wash your hands ,you just lifted that box.

I'M SORRY I DONT WANT THE DOGS PENIS NEAR MY BUM!!!!

This made me thank you!

The shop had eggs! EGGS!

Not today but yesterday:

While in Tescos to numerous fools people:

Keep back, you are supposed to stay 2 metres away.

And when I got home:

Right, I'm going to wash all the shopping that needs to go in the fridge. Well leave the rest in the car until it decontaminates.

@rosea19 celeriac is yummy.
You can grate it raw with carrot & apple for a quick coleslaw, or chop & boil with potatoes & a bit of garlic for a delicious purée (delia recipe)
Or chop and roast
Or put in soup

@rosea19 you can use celeriac exactly as you would potatoes. It’s really tasty. You can also use it raw for coleslaw/remoulade (just in case you haven’t figured out what to do with it yet!).

To DH when he returned from work "take your clothes straight off and In the wash and you get in the shower"

Bugger the sparrows, those toast crumbs are MINE......

‘That’s not Peter Crouch and a banana is it?’ - the distance we are supposed to keep between two work colleagues in the carpark.

I need to disinfect all the door handles this morning.

Did you scrub that apple with washing up liquid and rinse it before you gave it to DS?

I've really made some headway on that jigsaw today

Alexa, what’s 196 divided by 3? 65.333?

OK, DS2, if you have 65g of Skittles they’ll last until Thursday.