Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

[Bluewavescrashing]

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

No darling, buzzy bees don't eat toy pigs'

“I bet all those nutters who built doomsday bunkers in their gardens are so smug right now”

Oh, let's avoid walking past that police car during Lockdown (they were blocking a small road while questioning a driver).

Of course I'll volunteer to teach during the Easter holidays

Keep walking... where’s the shopping bag? (past the police eyeballing everyone on the park)

Can you water down the milk, we don’t have much left.

"Highly likely you'll be redundant next month but I've just spent £20 on hand sanitiser"

no you can't pop to Asda - to DH (for groceries that are not essential)

Sorry, pasta bake is a rare delicacy

Put the crusts in the freezer.

“I’m so happy; they had eggs AND paracetamol in Sainsbury’s today!”

There are loads of chihuahuas coming out of the woodwork.

"They've got frozen peas!!"

You’ve been to the shop twice today?

'You can phone me anytime I'm not going anywhere'

My neighbour

“There is a big black caterpillar on your outside window, as big as a cat”

Later when I saw her in the garden she pointed it out. Oh that’s just black duct tape we used to tape up the smashed window. 🤦🏽‍♀️

watching my children fuck about on their bikes

Me: Be careful please and don’t fall off. A&E is closed. No really - it IS closed this time, I swear.

And my A&E Doctor friend saying across the road “yes.....and I can’t work from home! Although they’d like to see me try”

Both funny and surreal at the same time!

I told a lady walking her poodle that 'I don't usually lurk in alleyways' as I had to press myself into the hedge in the widest part whilst she tentatively approached from the narrowest part.

I'm out for my Boris walk.

(On the phone to my mum) ‘I’m just queuing to get into the co-op’

Not corona related completely, but I'm going so crazy after almost 14 days in isolation that when my daughter tutted as I knocked the dog off from humping me I said "I'M SORRY I DONT WANT THE DOGS PENIS NEAR MY BUM!!!!" 😩 will 100% be repeated to grandparents at soonest opportunity

'The door! That was the door! Someone knocked! Quick! Ooh! Who is it?'

We had a delivery today and when the door knocked we all assembled at the end of the corridor to see from a distance who it was. It's the most exciting thing that's happened for at least a week.

Can you water down the milk in the porridge? We need to make the milk last.

What on earth do I do with a celeriac? (After veg box delivery)

Walking very very carefully back from the shop and trying not to make any sudden moves as I had precious cargo. Got in the door and held the box of 6 eggs up at DH whilst shouting ‘I found eggs!’

Me to DH "Look at this, they had meatballs"!