Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

[Bluewavescrashing]

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

To my DH - "oh great, you've brought home a carton of pineapple juice"

'I can't wait to go back to work.' Day 13 of isolation....

"Dd4 is on purplemash, and ds6 is learning the periodic table." said to my dh

"I'm going to bake tomorrow with DS and then eat everything we've baked. No reason to slim down any more."

Said to my work colleague (disclaimer: key worker) as I'm fed up because my holiday is likely to be cancelled (disclaimer 2: first world problem, I know there are far worse things at the moment to worry about).

"Ive put half the shopping in quarantine"

"I'm just googling the instructions to make our own butter now"

Why is butter impossible to get hold of?!

Also telling everyone I've spoken to today I managed to get an Ocado slot for tomorrow!

(Still not entirely sure how I managed that seeing as they're as rare as rocking horse poo).

“I can’t see many dead relatives here”
To my colleagues when we were trying to have our morning update before work.

"DD (age 3), take the stapler away from baby DS' toes". (I don't usually have the table covered in Twinkl worksheets that I need to file in a Home Learning journal).

Rinse the coke cans before you open them - they've been dipped in Milton.

To DH - did you wash your hands after touching the post?

"You better get some hand cream as well, in fact you can have my posh good stuff if you want but I've spare cheapy for the other lads if you need it"
To my DH who has just had some strong hand sanitizer delivered to work.

My DH has never used hand cream and to be honest if he ever asked to use mine I would be

Also - 'a 20% paycut means we are luckier than a lot of people'

We can do that jigsaw now, it's been in quarantine for 10 days. (Bought on eBay)

Also : I'm just glad we can carry on doing our job without putting ourselves in mortal danger.

Should I leave my phone at home?

Why?

What if they are tracking it?

Don’t answer the door - pretend we are out!

To the dog - 'if you don't walk quicker we will be arrested for being out too long' 😂

"What do you mean you just opened the post?! Are you trying to get us all killed?!"

"Has Boris Johnson written to you yet?"

‘Whose turn is it to wipe down the light switches and handles?’

‘lots of postmen must have the virus’

‘once we’re out of lockdown....’

‘Amazon prime delivery is now 5 weeks’

I’ve just disinfected the doorknob and letterbox.

It’s ok my O2 SATs have gone up to 97.

"You need to sit at the other end of the sofa" to v vulnerable partner

Quick kids come and look at grandma! She had come to drop some Calpol off for dds and we could see her out the window

"Is it against the rules to post a birthday card through Mum's front door on my walk past?"