Thread for really fucking ugly houseplants

[ScribblyGum]

That you wish would just die naturally, but because they just won’t you are burdened by guilt with prolonging their pitiful heinous existence.

Here is my entry, a 14 month old poinsettia. Just look at the state of it, ugly Christmas 2019 bastard.
Can I bin it? No I cannot. Have I taken it outside to die by cold twice and then brought it back in again? Yes, yes I have.

JUST DIE WILL YOU.

Show me your horrid plants.

Beachcomber do you have anyone on your family named Seymour?

@PerkingFaintly

Not sure what you mean mathanxiety...

BTW not showing off with massive plant. I could show you pictures of lots of really ugly and pathetic aloe veras too

Oh might have got it!

Little Shop of Horrors?

hmm is it on netflix?
that's a fun movie to watch

My other half is renting a holiday home (we are stuck here due to lockdown). Look at this monstroaity

Aah it was your Nan’s . Cut all the brown dead stems off and re pot with new soil and a bigger pot

This manky everlasting waste of space that dies then resurrects itself...
Peace Lily ??? I'd love to blow it to smithereens....

I was given an orchid a couple of years ago and despite the fact it has never been potted on and there are many greeny white tendrils sprouting everywhere like some horrible alien from a horror B movie it continues to flower! Not sure how!

I had to put my houseplants outside when my oldest decided while toilet training that she liked shitting like a worm and took to crapping in my houseplants. (I’m not going to pretend I understand how that kids mind works)

Some of them were so tough and are happily living out in extreme heat, lack of water and cold I now feel sorry enough that I’m bringing them back inside. (DD1 is 6 so past the stage!)

Nrtft so don't know if anyone has mentioned a house plant called mother in law's tongue. Hideous looking things imo.

I've got THREE, and for some reason I decided to put them together and they're hanging on/look quite unpleasant but I can't bring myself to chuck em

Someone above at MNHQ said 'fucking ugly'! Its like a teacher swearing in class!

Are you new here, Wauden?

My DS is amazing with plants, she's like the Dr Dolittle of them. Everyone gives her their dying, barren plants and within a season of being with her they're flourishing and growing at speed. 🤬

On the other hand, I've never had one last long enough to take a photo 😔
My last foray into hopelessness house plants was a venus fly trap and I was doing really well with it (for me).

I was so determined that it would be a success as my last one wasn't, that I spent an hour every day making sure it had food (catching flies/ants for it) 🙄☺ I was so proud of myself, and you know what they say about pride...... because then my dog ate it, every single last bit of it.
I had tears in my eyes when I had to throw it away, and I made a promise to all plants to stay away from them from then on.

@smiften, the one under the dome looks like a dried turd, are you sure it's a real plant?

Sorry, I've now just read that others already spotted that resemblance smiften

Loving this thread

I too have a peace lily. Sad pathetic droopy git. The only time it ever gets watered is when it droops even more than usual and the leaves flop over a family photo.

There is also an aloe vera on the top of my bookcase. I've had it ten years and it gets watered about once a year if it is lucky.

I have found my people!

The previous owner of this house left behind shitloads of plants. I've kept them alive through sheer neglect for 10 years now, and every one looks ugly.
Theres a tree thing in the bathroom that's about 5 feet tall, with about 10 leaves on it. I forget to water it for months, then realise it's looking pathetic and chuck a jugful of bath water over it.

I also have a peace lily, that dd brought home from brownies. I shoved it outside in a weed riddled border bit when it outgrew its pot, and the fucker grows bigger every year. Last year it had 20 or 30 flowers, and they were a good 3 feet off the ground. Looked stunning. A visitor next door asked me my secret, and when I told her I ignored it totally, she stomped off muttering about it not being nice to not share green fingered talents

Always amazed me that I cant keep plants alive, but I'm also apparently incapable of killing them!

I really get you who cannot throw a weedy plant in the bin, at present time I have none fit for binning, all keeping well, which is more than can be said with the world nowadays.
I cant keep an orchid at all, once they die off they just wont ever recover I have never had one yet that rose again. I dont have a bad conscience putting them in bin because they are already dead.

Look at this leggy git. It’s a kalanchoe and it sits on the window sill in the kitchen next to a luscious leafy kalanchoe. I treat them the same and this one just gets taller and grows off on a slant whilst the other has 2 new flowers. I can’t bin it because the healthy one will miss it!

This fucker is one of many in my house
Loving this feed

I turned around holding my dyson attachment once and whoop! Peace lily churning around in the dust compartment.
I’m like the grim reaper of the plant world.

My growing basil plant. At the bottom of it there are 2 basils that grew from cut leaves. All of them are knackered.

I would think most of the reasons why people keep these plants is because they were given to them, and one feels should keep them, same as other gifts. Especially if that person is a regular visitor. I used to have house plants, but for years haven't wanted any. I do think they can make a home though. I just occasionally get myself some fresh flowers.