I’m Middle Class - ask me anything

[LivingTheThighLife]

Inspired by a now sadly deleted thread (no MN mods it’s Not a TAAT so pls don’t delete)

Just thawt some of you plebs mite need sum tips on Being Middle Class

*Do you floss?

No I Vossi Bop*

Brilliant!

MC person 1 wears a tatty Barbour, has chickens, wears jumpers and trousers all the time, still pays the mortgage with dh, car is ok but run-down, father had MC job, cares for the wild, puts out bird food, keeps bees, has holes in fences for the hedgehogs to go through;

MC person 2 wears branded clothes only preferably with the brand name visible, buys new handbag regularly, has cars which are ridiculously expensive on monthly payments and v polluting, has pug dog with breathing problems due to inter breeding, has paved over front garden thus adding to the local flooding problems, cut down the trees, poisons garden with Roundup which never leaves the soil;
Which does one prefer?

Sergeant the horse

Oh dear, you say later you have to muck out the pony, so horse, pony or both?
And is said steed festooned in so many rugs he can't move? Or so much mud he looks like a hippopotamus?
And most importantly, can you trace his blood line back to Nerco and Dante, or Cruising (depending on your discipline) or is he the solid dependable cob type that you remove every bit of hair from to make him appear to be a TB cross when in fact he's a £500 bargain from the local sales?

MC person 1 wears a tatty Barbour, has chickens, wears jumpers and trousers all the time, still pays the mortgage with dh, car is ok but run-down, father had MC job, cares for the wild, puts out bird food, keeps bees, has holes in fences for the hedgehogs to go through;

MC person 2 wears branded clothes only preferably with the brand name visible, buys new handbag regularly, has cars which are ridiculously expensive on monthly payments and v polluting, has pug dog with breathing problems due to inter breeding, has paved over front garden thus adding to the local flooding problems, cut down the trees, poisons garden with Roundup which never leaves the soil;
Which does one prefer?

MC person 1 is clearly very lovely.
So-called MC person 2 is a dreadful vulgarian with whom one would not wish to associate.

What's your favourite modern day equivalent of 'slumming'?

Not actually going amongst them physically but perusing them from a distance as entertainment?

I find Eastenders (the show) fascinating... such miserable lives of far-from-quiet desperation.

I agree that Eastenders can be fascinating. Personally I have a secret penchant for the TV show that reveals the secret filthy lives of others who are less fortunate than ourselves, where we get to see into their homes. It’s called Gogglebox- have you heard of it?

you say later you have to muck out the pony,
No that was me. Sorry.

Oh yes.
Pardon, What? Sorry? or Excuse me?

Oh yes.
Pardon, What? Sorry? or Excuse me?

What?

What are your thoughts on microwave ovens?

What are your thoughts on microwave ovens?

Is this a reference to Dire Straits? They made some jolly good music.

@JesusMaryAndJosepheen

I feel I have found a kindred spirit in the classless wasteland of MN.

Are the DCs heading for Edinburgh or Durham?

I feel strangely reassured. Living seems like the genuine article to me.

Have you ever been driven passed an Aldi?
Who could you possibly ask your curious questions regarding this establishment with absolute watertight reassurance that it won’t be leaked to associates and local press?
Also, is there an Aldi within your postcode?

I feel strangely reassured. Living seems like the genuine article to me.

Have you ever been driven passed an Aldi?Who could you possibly ask your curious questions regarding this establishment with absolute watertight reassurance that it won’t be leaked to associates and local press?
Also, is there an Aldi within your postcode?

I have herd of Aldi butt i haven’t parsed one. Definitely not one in my postcode. For research purposes I have looked online - over 5 miles away should I care to peruse their exotic and unusual wares.

On the matter of taking off one's shoes indoors or not, yesterday I visited a house and noticed that the people had taken off their shoes and that there was a pile of them by the door. I asked them would they prefer if I followed their amusing custom and they assented. So I did remove my MC shoes, with decorum.

I am worried that this means that I will expelled from the MC, torn asunder from the MC bosom and left in the wilderness of being non-MC.
Please advise.
Worried of MN.

On the matter of taking off one's shoes indoors or not, yesterday I visited a house and noticed that the people had taken off their shoes and that there was a pile of them by the door. I asked them would they prefer if I followed their amusing custom and they assented. So I did remove my MC shoes, with decorum.

I am worried that this means that I will expelled from the MC, torn asunder from the MC bosom and left in the wilderness of being non-MC.
Please advise.
Worried of MN. sad

@Wauden sometimes one is forced to act within others’ strange customs. Nonetheless one’s person remains violated. Which calls for radical action.

March round to their home.

Shit on their doorstep.

Are you the posh blonde woman in Sainsburys just now who beat me to the last three pastels de nata?

There's only one possible reason for taking shoes off indoors and it isn't very MC

carpets

There's only one possible reason for taking shoes off indoors and it isn't very MC
**
carpets

Is this a thing?

Are you the posh blonde woman in Sainsburys just now who beat me to the last three pastels de nata?

No but I just took the last pane pugliese in Waitrose.

Aaaah, but there were no carpets! It was a dastardly plot to discredit me. However, I won't give out the revenge as suggested