SO how many of you have a 'zombie plan'?

[TheArmadillo]

hve been forced to ask this by dp and lodger.

If zombies happened what would you do?

I don't have one - apparently this is unusual Have never even considered it.

SO do you have a zombie plan?

[NotQuiteCockney]

In Walking Dead, they smear themselves with bits of dead flesh, so as to disguise their smell.

[NotQuiteCockney]

madamez, sorry about the zombie willy, It might be technically my fault.

[TheArmadillo]

don't let them influence you!!!!
Their social lives are poor. They are strange creatures who only emerge for food. They smell and look funny (ok only dp in that one). They make comments like 'noob'.

These are not people to be trusted!

[DrMarthaMcMoo]

Thanks NQC - I'll do that then.

[DrMarthaMcMoo]

Not.

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

Please explain the statement "...if zombies happened.."! How do zombies "happen"??!

[WlgWamBam]

Dp said he would form a V formation with three mates. That is his Plan.

Oh, sorry, there is more.

one would distract the zombies attention in the middle while the other two flank them, come up behind the zombie, killing them instantly by sticking a finger up their arses..

Apparently.

[mytwopenceworth]

what about escaping in a hot air balloon? they can't fly, can they? so my zombie plan would be to store a hot air balloon in my attic, with a hatch in my roof to open in case of emergency.

what do your dh and lodger think of this plan?

[TheArmadillo]

I know nothing about zombies. This has been assured by mostly sticking my fingers in my ears and going la la la. I have no idea how zombies arise and do not want to ask.

As for the grammar I do apologise.

[NotQuiteCockney]

Um, then you're just floating around in the sky. And the noise of the burner would attract zombies, so when you came down, you'd be eaten. Oh, or you could drown.

WWB, has your DP confused zombies with biting dogs?

I don't know how zombies 'happen'. Clearly they are a metaphor for infectious disease - HIV, bird flu, Sars, whatever.

[giraffeski]

Message withdrawn

[giraffeski]

Message withdrawn

[TheArmadillo]

apparently a hot air balloon would only last so long and you can't determine with acuracy where it would land.

well you asked

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

(I am person who was so traumatised by SEAN of the Dead that I knew I could never in a month of Sundays watched DAWN of the dead.. and then, one evening, when DH was out, my cow bag sister started watching it in MY house.. and I was afraid to go to bed in order to escape... because it's horrid from the beginning... and so had to WATCH IT! )

So please please don't be talking to me about "Zombie plans" and how zombies might "happen"! My DH and DS1 occasionally torment me by coming at me with fixed expressions and dragging one leg. I react violently. I Don't Like Zombies.

[mytwopenceworth]

so my hot air balloon would only work in cases of local zombie infestation, but not a pandemic.

no, i could always take hot air balloon to uninhabited island. zombies can't swim or captain boats can they, MrArmadillo and Lodger?

[mytwopenceworth]

fixed wing aircraft to uninhabited island then.

MrArmadillo & Lodger, you are just being awkward now.

[hunkermunker]

I asked DH.

He said, "Yes, we do"

Note the use of we.

I had no idea of this.

I asked him when I was going to learn of this plan.

"When the zombies come, of course" [impatient]

Apparently we lock all the windows and doors, retreat with food and necessary items into the loft space.

We withdraw the ladder after us and nail down the loft.

Eat all the food and hope the zombies have gone away by then.

He has a sword (don't ask) and that will be used to chop up any zombies who might breach our defences.

What he wants to know is whether your DP and lodger have a plan for werewolves?

[TheArmadillo]

it would be a way to escape. Though apparently you'd need to be 'damn sure' it was uninhabited and you'd need to be good at piloting the thing. Plus the island would need to be able to support you in terms of food etc.

A zombie proofed bus is more traditional though says dp. Though this has its own disadvantages (zombie choked roads).

[hunkermunker]

Apparently we are also fully prepared for vampires [resigned]

TheArmadillo, he's started talking now and I can't...stop...him...!

[DrMarthaMcMoo]

They just climb on each other and break through the loft hatch though, hunker. They just keep coming, damn them...on and on and on and on...wave after wave...there's no hope really...it's inevitable...

[hunkermunker]

No plan for nasty little sprites though. Or fairies [boggles]

[Flum]

yeah, we'd use our Panic room for all Zombie, TRifid, Nuclear Winter, Terrorist type scenarios. Infact we use it from time to time anyway as the flat screen TV in there is bigger than ours and the beds are really cosy and its nice to sleep all family in one room on cold nights.

[TheArmadillo]

fixed wing aircraft = good. As long as you got in supplies and ensured the island was large enough to provide a fresh water supply and enough food. You would also need munitions to make sure the island remained secure.

Dp is impressed.
Lodger has run away to read more graphic novels.

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

I just asked DH. I said "DH.. do we have a Zombie plan?"

He said "A zombie plan?"

I said "yes".

He said "Why?"

I said "In case we need one. A plan of What To Do When Zombies Come.."

He said "Er, no..." , looked at me strangely, then peered over my shoulder at the screen, sighed deeply and went and sat down to look at the Movies listing.

I thought I would document this even though it wasn't very promising.

But we don't have a Zombie Plan. FUCK!!

[madamez]

Well, at the end of Day of the Dead (my favourite zombie film and the one I always watch to cheer myself up) they fly a helicopter to a desert island and catch fish. Most dystopian fictions (of which the zombie film is a variation) suggest getting onto an island or somewhere that is isolated and defensible, where you either hole up and wait for rescue (assuming a localised zombie outbreak) or spend the next few chapters/reels rediscovering agriculture, medicine and possibly trade. Oh, and then political corruption, war, religion and some time of financial exchange system. Though only in reaaaaallllly long zombie films and mostly just in books.