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SO how many of you have a 'zombie plan'?

350 replies

TheArmadillo · 19/04/2007 21:30

hve been forced to ask this by dp and lodger.

If zombies happened what would you do?

I don't have one - apparently this is unusual Have never even considered it.

SO do you have a zombie plan?

OP posts:
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Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 22:58

does spraying perfume in the eyes work???

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madamez · 19/04/2007 23:00

Quite like the zombie defence moves. Am oddly put in mind of the Whitgift centre on a Saturday afternoon. Smell and all.

And I'm with Sophable here - this is probably my favourite thread in the entire history of MN.

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Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 23:02
Grin
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funnypeculiar · 19/04/2007 23:02

Right. Am Concerned now.
Have we got a definitive list of things that kill zombies? I mean, if they are undead, how does one stop them, short of dismembering. Which I suspect is tricky - esp as DrMM's wesite says they are actully surpisingly nippy.
I'm liking sophable's perfume spraying, but that's onyl going to slow them down, surely?

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madamez · 19/04/2007 23:03

Bran: maybe, maybe not. But *maybe the Clever Zombies will target MNers first, zombify them and/or eat them, and start sending zombie propaganda through the ether, no wait, hang on, there are ALREADY zombies on line. that's what really happened to Usenet...

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Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 23:03

zombies are NOT 'nippy'.

surely.

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funnypeculiar · 19/04/2007 23:04

Look, I'd have said not, but those guys look like the experts...

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expatinscotland · 19/04/2007 23:05

I'd join 'em.

I sort of like the idea of going through life like a zombie.

Right now, I have no good excuse for my lazy half-arsed-ness.

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madamez · 19/04/2007 23:05

FP: decapitation, dismemberment, incineration (chuck any flammable liquid over the zombie then chuck in a match, so all the smokers have a bit of a head start)., pushing them out of 5th floor windows, hitting them with cricket bats. Arcane Incantations might work but probably not. Clicking your ruby slippers together and repeating "There's no place like home, there's no place like ho-" whoops, sorry.

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funnypeculiar · 19/04/2007 23:06

fabulous - the definitive guide to fact vs myth of zombies ... but sill not how to KILL the blighters. If it's viral, as they say, even a swift course of antibiotics aren't going to help...

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harpsichordcarrier · 19/04/2007 23:07

gosh we really don't have a plan here. there was much talking about whether it was a global problem (in which case nowhere to run) or only local, and arming oneself (with what? I dare not ask) and going to a military base.
but frankly it wasn't a plan as such. just spontaneous thrashing around in the dark.
I think I might go on mumsnet and ask for advice. that's my normal plan.
or go to the Drunken Sailor's house

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funnypeculiar · 19/04/2007 23:08

Thanks madamez - incineration it is then - can sleep safe now

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hunkermunker · 19/04/2007 23:08

Email MN Towers, TA, get them to move this thread to preserve it - I did it once.

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Boco · 19/04/2007 23:08

I can just imagine the hints and tips threads during zombie invasion

'How can i tell if the zombies clawing at my door are the classic slow and easily smashed type, or the more modern nippy and fast moving kind? Should i broom swipe or perfume spray?

And food for the loft - puree or solid?

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Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 23:09

THERE IS NO MORE MODERN NIPPY AND FAST MOVING KIND.

ffs some of you are fantasy land.

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funnypeculiar · 19/04/2007 23:11

ah, sophable, that is exactly the sort of head-in-the-sand attitude that'll get your brain eaten first when the invasion comes....

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Boco · 19/04/2007 23:11

I just went upstairs and asked dp if we had a zombie plan. He looked up from his book, blinked, looked back at his book and said 'I thought you were going to do some work tonight?, you've been on mumsnet haven't you'

I've been withered.

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harpsichordcarrier · 19/04/2007 23:11

I must say I am looking at my dh in a different light.
he has no plan to protect us from the zombies!
what kind of husband is he ffs?

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Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 23:12

i BET he has one though.

he was just wondering whether to tell you.

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bran · 19/04/2007 23:12

In the Dawn of the Dead remake they could run, and in 28 Days Later they could run very fast because they were flooded with adrenelin all the time (or something similar). Although, technically, they weren't proper zombies in 28 Days Later.

I think what we need is a nemotode that will eat zombie brains, like the nemotodes that you get for slugs. Then we just need to infect a few handy zombies, by mixing the nemotodes with water and pouring it over them from several floors up, and they will pass it on to the other zombies.

Aaaggh, I have a zombie plan, I think I've become a man. I'm off to snore and fart in bed (obviously I didn't do that when I was a woman) and tomorrow I will save time by weeing in the shower instead of the loo.

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funnypeculiar · 19/04/2007 23:13

bran - inspired. And organic

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Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 23:14

wow. nemaslug rocks!!!

fantastic

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harpsichordcarrier · 19/04/2007 23:14

gosh you maybe right Soph.
maybe he doesn't trust me with the zombie plan.
just in case I am one of the zombies

my dh thinks I might be a zombie!
it's all becoming clear now

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hunkermunker · 19/04/2007 23:14

Harpsi, DH says "He's a lame one, if you ask me. I think she might have married a girl"

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Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 23:14

will you sniff a lot whilst poo-ing and also do one huge fart in the morning when you wee?

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