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This forum is the home of Mumsnet classic threads.

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SO how many of you have a 'zombie plan'?

350 replies

TheArmadillo · 19/04/2007 21:30

hve been forced to ask this by dp and lodger.

If zombies happened what would you do?

I don't have one - apparently this is unusual Have never even considered it.

SO do you have a zombie plan?

OP posts:

Report

VeniVidiVickiQV · 19/04/2007 22:25

DP says "EVERYONE has a Zombie plan"!!!!!

He said, immediately..."Er YEAH. I know where the nearest Gun Shop is, and my hold up would be Ally Pally"

So, I point out that Zombies might not be able to be killed by gunshot, and he proceded to tell me "No, close range gun shot can take a head off - or limbs"

Clearly he has given this A LOT of thought....

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 19/04/2007 22:25

Hunker your man sounds so responsible and resourceful. Mine is still browsing Sky Movies! He doesn't CARE!!!

Are the zombies likely to be.... [shudder]... people.. we.. know... like the neighbours... (as was!)

TheArmadillo · 19/04/2007 22:26

Dp said on the subject of werewolves and vampires planning ahead would be a silly idea.

I thought aha a grain of sense finally.

But no apparently they are too unpredictable to plan for so you need to judge each sitation on its merits

Dp now wants to know where we keep the silver (just in case you understand).

OP posts:

DrMarthaMcMoo · 19/04/2007 22:27

In '28 Days Later' they end up in some remote smallholding in Scotland, don't they?

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 19/04/2007 22:28

What about the one where they retreat to the Lakes and make a big sign saying HELP out of bed sheets.. while the zombies lay perishing (and twitching) in the hedgerows!!! Which one is this??

Oh GodOhGodOhGod... I am not going to be able to sleep now. You set of bitches!!!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 19/04/2007 22:28

Oh, and I also said "What about the children???" He said "Well, I'll take them with me - if they arent Zombies of course"

madamez · 19/04/2007 22:28

For those without plans should there be a sudden Happening in the night of werewolves, vampires, boggans, trolls, aliens (with or without rectal probes) might I also advocate a good dose of Consensus Reality as described by Kim Newman. Basically, if enough of you stop believing in them, they'll go away. Though I have to say this method has been tried quite hard on Bush and Blair and hasn't worked... yet.

Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 22:30

apparently i haven't got long enough to type dh's.

it is not really a zombie plan. unusual disaster or catastrophe is it's name.

ffs.

Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 22:30

apparently i haven't got long enough to type dh's.

it is not really a zombie plan. unusual disaster or catastrophe is it's name.

ffs.

DrMarthaMcMoo · 19/04/2007 22:31

Oh it might be the Lake District. A helicopter comes at the end and they are all jumping about waving and I'm going "no...hide...it's more zombies!"

madamez · 19/04/2007 22:31

SHinyhappy: that was 28 Days Later. When they escaped, initially, in a black cab (it went south of the river and everything). But don't take advice from the ending, because the last 20 minutes or so of that one were total rubbish.

Remember the risen shambling dead can't actually walk very fast, so even a pushbike would do when it comes to getting away.

Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 22:31

VVV apparently if ds is a zombie dh will behead him.

be still my palpitating freudian heart.

TheArmadillo · 19/04/2007 22:32

Shiny I am sorry.

They are not real.

I won't even tell you what dp listed as the apparent causes (there were many but none of them are ever going to happen).

shawn of the dead was a great film. I haven't seen the others. Am not great with horror films.

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 19/04/2007 22:32

I've just had the BEST plan.

The Isle of Wight.

NO self-respecting zombie would go there.

AND it was safe from Triffids.

(Does your DP have a Triffid plan, TA?)

Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 22:32

oh and apparently 'it's true, we'll have to, it's the only way forwards!...what would you do???'

not abandon my zombiefied son perhaps??? mthafcka!

MrsWho · 19/04/2007 22:32

PMSL at the 'd'ps on here!

Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 22:33

hunker dh (who is enjoying this thread it has to be said) says

that is a crap plan as the isle of wight is full of zombies already.

baboom

thunk

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 19/04/2007 22:33

I told DH that Everyone Else's DH has a plan and that he is irresponsible.

He now feels guilty and has come up with one.

It is:

"Take the kids and get into the cupboard under the stairs. Get pissed".

Oh God I think I married someone without the natural characteristics of other people's DHs! We are doomed.

DrMarthaMcMoo · 19/04/2007 22:33

Maybe it's a Mum thing...if my babies are zombies then sign me up too. None of this beheading nonsense.

bran · 19/04/2007 22:35

I want my dh to have a zombie plan. I watched Dawn of the Dead (orginal and new version, although I got a bit bored towards the end of the new one so stopped watching) and was only slightly scared. I watched Shaun of the Dead and was, strangely, a bit more scared. But 28 Days Later was on recently and it has scared me rigid (ok,it's not strictly a zombie movie, but it's much the same fear). I didn't even watch the whole thing, but the next day when I left the building I peered through the glass door to see if any of people walking around would break into a run to attack me when they saw me.

Realisticly, I would be better off having a flood plan as we live by the river and the chances are that one day the wind will be in the wrong direction with heavy rain when the tide is unusually high. But I know that if there is a flood there will be people doing their best to help us, the breakdown of society is much more terrifying than peril from mother nature.

Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 22:36

wetting ourselves at this thread.

men have zombie plans.

ffs.

they really do.

ours involves an old sword which is in third drawer down at the back of dh's chest of drawers.

WHO F&CKING KNEW?????

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 19/04/2007 22:36

No Armadillo.. I have to know. [braces self] What are the... [gulp]... causes of Zombiedom?

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TheArmadillo · 19/04/2007 22:37

isle of wight is best triffid plan really.

They are cleverer than zombies but more limited in movement. You can use a moat defence system as well as a fence. He has now gone into schematics. Apparently the fence comes first to protect while you are building the moat that will be deep (they can't cross deep water?). You will obviously need supplies.

HE has just finished day of the triffids. I am going to start it tonight.

He obviously has too much spare time on his hands. I may do something about this

Apparently decapitating ds if he was zombified is an act of love

OP posts:

DrMarthaMcMoo · 19/04/2007 22:38

I'd ask dh but he's fallen asleep. And what use is that, I blardy ask you? He hasn't even got a sword. He could analyse their bodily fluids and microbiologise them into oblivion...

Heathcliffscathy · 19/04/2007 22:38

STOP WITH THE DECAPITATING SHIT.

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