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Help. Epic hotel choice failure

498 replies

BoffinMum · 31/07/2017 20:43

So here we are in a family hotel in Italy on holiday, near Lake Garda. We are supposed to be here for two weeks and it's costing 5800 euros full board for four of us including DS2 (16) and DS3 (8). We have had a terrible year and this was supposed to be a special holiday to recover.

We all hate it. I hate it so much I could cry.

The hotel itself is really small and the things we thought we would use - spa and so on - are only open 4-7.30 daily (it said nothing about this on the website). We've just had a meal and it's reminiscent of school dinners - I could have cooked it better myself. You can only have dinner from 7-8pm. Nothing like the lovingly garnished offerings on the website, basically stodge. Even the teenager gave up ploughing through it. Our wine eventually came after we had fiinished the meal. There are no soft drinks for kids apart from Fanta, Sprite or Coke. The kids bedroom smells of smoke (as does ours) and has restricted ceiling height so DS2 is going to be banging his head the whole time. The decor reminds me of my grandmother's house about 30 years ago. There is nowhere to get away from the din because it's so small and i currently have a kids' disco under my window (it's 930 pm here) and DS3 is tired from travelling all day but it's too noisy to go to sleep.

I have been down the the manager to explain the problems but he just shrugged and said 'other people like it'. He said we have to stay at least a week otherwise they will have an empty room.

So we are trapped in this glorified youth hostel listening to a kids disco booming away under the window eating stodge and will have to spend 2900 euros for the privilege. And there may be nowhere else to go,

Help, what do I do?

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BoffinMum · 01/08/2017 17:00

We have in fact eaten from the Lady Gaga meat mountain. It is the main repository of the hotel's wet ham.

OP posts:
IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 01/08/2017 17:03

WTAF is that picture of Grin

It looks very "Abigail's Party"

PotteringAlong · 01/08/2017 17:09

If I was in any way free to do so I might be looking up flights to come and join you for a mumsnet lake Garda fest. I love a pedalo! Grin

youarenotkiddingme · 01/08/2017 17:12

MN does Lake Garda 😂😂😱

Cloeycat · 01/08/2017 17:18

Haven't read full thread but prehaps for your next holiday try www.sailingholidays.com

Clayhead · 01/08/2017 17:35

Animation is a sort of crude translation of Animazione - they probably should translate to Entertainment.

Some of the Animation Team entertainment we've seen in Italy was so absolutely terrible that we started to enjoy it; the dc still talk about it years later. I started out hating it, gave up my resistance years ago and now strangely enjoy it...

MrsMontgomerySmythe · 01/08/2017 17:45

You have seen the clown???

We look forward to seeing his photo
One for the holiday albumn.

PiratePanda · 01/08/2017 17:54

Another nomination for classics; this has kept me in stitches throughout the day, as I have wandered with my laptop from room to room of my house hoping that the change in scenery will inspire me to finish correcting my students' appalling dissertation drafts...

34AQuid · 01/08/2017 18:04

This thread is hilarious!

Italian hotels = pot luck. So many are so very shit and so very expensive.

Glad you've found your Pats, though, 'Eddie'. I think a bottle of Bolly is in order Grin.

FatherJemimaRacktool · 01/08/2017 18:06

Good to see I'm not the only one who has been using this as distraction from student work, Panda. This thread has been so, so much more engaging and better written than the draft PhD chapters I'm wading through (less plagiarism, too)

Ghjklf · 01/08/2017 18:32

This thread is too funny. I'm not sure I'd threaten to post bad reviews just yet. I'd try the polite persistent approach first then ramp it up as needed.

Lots and lots of photos are a good plan.

TheEmmaDilemma · 01/08/2017 18:33

Most awesome Mumsnet meet ever?

TheEmmaDilemma · 01/08/2017 18:34

Or should that be meat? Grin

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 01/08/2017 18:35

Clay "entertainment we've seen in Italy was so absolutely terrible that we started to enjoy it; the dc still talk about it years"

Same here, but in a hotel in Spain. We were aghast the first night, but by the time "King Plus Queen" (Elvis does Abba Grin) came along we were hooked. Never seen anything like it and never laughed so much in our lives!

Pastyandacustardslice · 01/08/2017 19:19

Clown!

badbadhusky · 01/08/2017 19:20

Pics please pasty

Pastyandacustardslice · 01/08/2017 19:20

Clown, clown, Boffin missed the clown!

Pastyandacustardslice · 01/08/2017 19:21

The connection won't allow me to post photos!!!

Pastyandacustardslice · 01/08/2017 19:23

It wasn't particularly enthusiastic, it's gone now

DontChewMonkey · 01/08/2017 19:30

*Cloeycat
*
Please rtft. It has evolved! The lady gaga table of meat is the icing on the cake

MaybeDoctor · 01/08/2017 19:50

I am so glad that someone at least has salvaged something from a bad Lake Garda experience!

Wordsaremything · 01/08/2017 20:02

Holiday woes aside, I think O P, you are in denial about serious issues in your marriage.

You said Kate Humble is his perfect woman but he has to make do with you?

I think you need to do the Freedom Programme and LT B on return !

MrsMontgomerySmythe · 01/08/2017 20:05

There you go - you can leave now and demand all your money back due to fraud under the Italian version of the Trade Descriptions Act (which I imagine is called the Trado Descriptiona Acto!).

They promised you an enthusiastic evening with the clowns. 1 unenthusiastic clown does not cut the mustard!!!!

Time to ask for a full refund.

You could tell them their clown is famous the length and breadth of Britain among mothers and you only came for this special weekly dinner with clowns!!!!

Tartyflette · 01/08/2017 20:06

That meat mountain is strangely disturbing.
And what's with the wet ham? You're in Italy, the ham ought to be slivers of silky (but not wet) unctuousness.

BoffinMum · 01/08/2017 20:10

I missed the clown as we hsvevunbooked our food package and have had our second lovely me today, first with Patsy and Mr Patsy and MiniPats, posh burgers, salads and some beautiful mini patisserie, second in a trattoria with lovely Parma ham and melon, followed by salmon trout (me) and home made pizza (DH and the DCs). Luffley.

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