Something you can say during sex, and also at the dinner table

[Hushabyelullaby]

Don't talk with your mouth full
You've got something on your chin

anyone got any other suggestions

You need to whip it a bit harder if you want it really stiff

Sloppy seconds anyone?

Do you need a beaker?

Will you just use a spoon!

The key is to heat up the oven before you stick the meat in
Ohh I'm sure I can fit a little bit more in
Do you want an end piece?

I like to pour brandy on it and set it alight, it makes it more tender.

The 4 ladies at that end would all like some trifle too!

(I have more exciting parties than you do!)

Here's me bouche. Amuse it.

This is your brother's favourite

It's a bit tart.

Urgh don't let the dog lick it!

No, you can't eat the bone.

FHB (Family Hold Back)

If you rock backwards and forwards like that, it will break. And don't lean back on it either.

I can't feel anything....

Elbows off!

Remember your manners.

Pass the butter.....

"You're washing up when we've finished... I got the meat ready so you can do something to help too!"

"Do you want a fork?"

"Mum suggested doing it like this"

"Now that I look at it I really fancy an Italian..."

"Put your phone away until we've finished"

"Bugger, the skin's come off"

"We should do this again when your parents come at the weekend"

I don't know how I'm going to find room for all of that!
You have to swallow it all in one go.
I always get so messy when I eat with my hands.
Drizzle it over my breasts.
Is it ok to sit here?
I've drank enough thank you.
It's too salty for me.
What a massive portion!
Would you like more ...
Your Dad would have loved this.
Do you want stuffing?
Don't talk with your mouth full.
Do not aim that near my face.
I only want cream squirted on my melons.
John, your sauce is so white and creamy.
Shit, it's spilled everywhere.
It's a bird inside a bird, inside a bird.
This is so moist.
I'm sat between my two favourite men.
This fish is very fishy.

Thank you so much for starting this thread op, it's brilliant - I haven't laughed so hard for a long time.

All that preparation, and in 10 minutes it's all over

'That tart's got a soggy bottom.'

'Eww, is it meant to look like that?'

'What's that green stuff?'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.....