Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

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Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

Why is it?

they just are

What the fuck is 'vintage' coffee?

I agree. There is so much wankery about. Drinking out of jam jars and eating off slates included.

I was in John Lewis yesterday and I was nearly swayed by a £27 insulated back to carry a packed lunch in - uber-expensive wankery!

Mellow Birds powder, Niffler. Mmmm yum. (NOT)

Bag. £27 cheap for an insulated back!

Let's serve your food on a chopping board for you - wanky

Babycchinos- wanky

Yuk, Donkey

We want plates, on Tumblr or Facebook, is brilliant for this!

'Hand cut'
'Pan fried'
Village hen's egg
Food descriptions containing EVERY SINGLE INGREDIENT in the dish:

'Hand cut, artisan 27-seed granary loaf smeared with farm-churned, slightly salted normandy butter, layered with lightly-crushed free range organic farm eggs, laid in straw-lined nestboxes by hand-reared black leghorn hens, enrobed with organic virgin olive oil mayonnaise, sprinkled with organic, hand-harvested cress.'

It's a chuffin egg & cress sandwich!!

Those bloody stupid jars with handles & lids with holes, for milkshakes. Complete with a non-bendy straw so kids have to hold them in their laps instead of on the table... recipe for disaster IMHO.

Chips served in little wire baskets , hugely wanky

"sourcing a trouser" = wanky. You are shopping for a pair of trousers ffs!
I hate the term sourcing

A red lip =wanky

Just the one red lip OnHold?

Babyccinos may be wanky, but DC love them, although DD wanted to know why they couldn't have decaffeinated coffee in them!

Shop the edit- I don't even know what that means but it's wanky.

Yes Like a trouser.

I ordered DS2 (4yo) a decaf coffee when we were in Ostend Bathsheba - the waiter visibly Judged, but why on earth should he not be allowed it? It's decaf after all!

I do always want to ask him if he would like a tiny cigarette to go with it though

I would love to see what someone looks like with a red lip and a trouser

Shop the edit I have never heard that! Wtf does it even mean?

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Sorry but nope. Not wanky. Goujons and nuggets aren't the same, and the latter has been around as a term, like, forever. Goujons predate nuggets!

It's well known that the more adjectives used, the more expensive the food.
Cheese and onion crisps = cheap.
Artisan hand cut triple cooked west country mature cheddar and slow roasted balsamic baby onion chutney crisps = v.v. expensive.

Heirloom tomatoes- are they tomatoes which have been handed down through the family? If not they're just tomatoes ffs.