Having my ears hoovered out tomorrow and I'm SO excited

[YvaineStormhold]

How tragic are the middle years...

Can't bloody wait though.

I'm fine, thanks, Irene...kind thought, though.

Yvaine you really should publish - brilliant storytelling! Who knew ear wax could be so thrilling?!

50 shades of ear wax - had us all in suspenders.

I have lurked on mums net for years and I think this is one of three threads that I have commented on. It was brilliant. I sat in Lidl car park just now and read all 12 pages. You are all hilarious. I sat in my car laughing like a mad woman.

My experience wasn't as nice as that, the practice nurse, middle aged female brought out a thing like a miniature fish tank half filled with warm water, put the nozzle in my ear and started the pump, after about a minute i felt dizzy, she said that often happens, then proceeded to the next ear, afterwards she showed me what had come out of my ears, not much but quite yucky.

I'm a bit disturbed by that Gif of Gandalf earlier on. Is he just nodding or is it supposed to look like he's probably having a wank? Or is that just my dirty mind?

I love this thread - brilliantly descriptive writing.
Spookily my local free newspaper came through the letterbox earlier with the following ad prominently displayed in the front page:
'Having trouble hearing? It might be earwax. Visit our earwax removal clinic for assessment of wax build up, removal of wax via microsuction or low pressure irrigation, post procedure assessment'

See Coffee they are missing a trick if they don't put

'Post Procedure inspection of the results and we guarantee you can take it home'

'Discounted procedure if you consent for us to put the film on Youtube and it reaches 100,000 views'

Yes, you should definitely be able to take it home

...but I don't think there's much of a market for ear porn

Pretty sure you've just single-handedly created it OP!

Wow!

Lol lol at go forth and get sucked brilliant thread, thanks ear porn

I once syringed the ears of a bloke who was a drummer in a band.

I have never seen such enormous wax caterpillars in the kidney dish before or since.

I often wondered how his next gig went and whether the volume of his drumming was affected.

My DH is complaining of deafness in one ear but swears blind it is 'the other side of the ear drum' because he can't get anything out with a cotton bud

Am booking him in for micro-suctioning on Monday!

Go with him, Helena

You may lose him...

Only because I am such a dedicated and loving wife and then there would be someone to hold the camera

I've made contact with local centre and they charge £55. Must be the going rate but gutted there's no 'do one get one free' on wax caterpillars.

I love this thread. It gives me much hope as I'm getting mine done a week on Monday. I'm expecting large blobs ear jizz.

This is so funny but what about the feeling Otex eardrops give you? A crackling in your ears bit like popping candy lol.

Earex were my drops of choice, taylor.

Very satisfying - but nothing compared to the real deal.

I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall
Yes I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall
Long John they call him, and he answers every call

Well I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'
Yes I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'
He told me not to worry, that my cavity just needed fillin'

He said "when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine"
He said, "Yes, when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine
Cause ev'ry woman just can't stand the pain"

He took out his trusty drill
And he told me to open wide
He said he wouldn't hurt me
But he filled my hole inside
Long John, Long John, you've got that golden touch
You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much

When he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten"
Yes when he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten
Six months from now, come back and see me again"

Say you're supposed to see your dentist
'Bout twice a year, that's right
But I think I feel it throbbin'
Yes I'll go back there tonight
Long John, Long John, don't ever move away
Say I hope I keep on achin' so I can see you every day.

Phwoar, what a thread.

I tried popping my ears for some release but to no avail. Now I'm all waxually frustrated :(

I don't get wax building up in my ears. DS2 takes after DH & regularly has the most satisfying globs that are just visible enough for me to pin him down & catch the end. He's only 2.5yo & I'm already dreading the time when he won't let me manage his grooming. DH won't let me either. He protests his innocence but I think he's a secret sporner & just wants the joy for himself. I'm contemplating LTselfishB.

Is there anything one can do to encourage ear wax production or am I doomed to never know the ecstasy of ear hoovering?

Ah, so you all like photos of ear wax then?

I went to the Clear Ear Clinic and this is what happened.

As a manufacturer of Asian dry wax Cru i'm jealous.

I have made an appointment and am being hoovered tomorrow. I've no idea if there is anything in there but they itch like hell and I'm so excited.