My tip of the day for you all.

[MissStrawberry]

You can thank me later.

When you want to get out of the car, it is always sensible, and useful, to take your seat belt off first.

You're welcome .

When flopping backwards onto a bed, make sure the bed is, in fact, behind you.

If your toddler tells you he has poo on his finger then he has poo on his finger.

Not chocolate.

Don't eat it.

(Not me)

If you get caught secretly scoffing left-overs - it's always advisable to remove your head from the fridge before slamming the door & declaring your innocence.

The resulting black eye does not help keep your secret within the immediate family

learn the rules of maths

2x3+4x1+6x0 = 10

if you think it's zero you are wrong - go back in time and learn order of operations properly (BODMAS)

if you think it's 14 or 16 - just what the hell is wrong with you?

Do not get distracted by your 2 year old demanding you find her Woody NOW after putting one earring in, but before putting the other in..

You will not remember the other earring until you see it at bedtime. Thankfully none of the several million people you've spoken to that day, including all your children's teachers, and, unusually, but would have to be that day, also the head teacher, will have noticed....

(I hope!)

If you need to drive a hamster anywhere don't use a cardboard box as a transport cage.
You will find yourself in a competition to reach your destinaton before the little bugger chews through it.

Also if you're relieving your piles with suppositories be aware that the residual wax up there is an excellent sound amplifier. And that quiet poot that you're about to release in the library will be audible in the next county.

When installing a tall stair gate in a doorway, check to make sure the frame of the gate isn't about 1cm below the handle when the door is closed. Failure to check this will result in you trapping yourself in the living room while your baby cries in the other room.

jezza

that is a brilliant idea for an action movie! I'm thinking up titles already

"The Fast and the Furious Hamster"

"The Transported"

"The Great Hamster Escape"

"Chew Hard with a Vengeance"

"Pulp Non-Fiction"

When plucking your huge unkempt eyebrows prior to bring filmed at close range for prime time national tv be sure to do both of them.

Or you will look like a knob.

If you put a dead sheep in the boot of your car, try to remember to take it out before you go to the beach and leave it in a hot car all day.

When you have just taken a casserole out of the oven, do not attempt to pick the lid up with bare hands and then spend the rest of the night wondering why your fingers are burning.

words are important, especially when you try to solve brainteasers!

Don't test the sharpness of a knife on the palm of your hand.

Do not spend an inordinate amount of time painstakingly measuring exactly where to drill holes in the hearth wall in the living room from which to hang the large mirror.....
And then still manage to get it wrong, leaving a permanent extra drill hole just to the right of said mirror...

And DEFINITELY do not make the exact same mistake in your new house when you finally move and heave a sigh of relief that you've left it behind.... (DH!!!)

Highly bemused at the amount of people seemingly collecting dead animals on the boot of their car!

Also, is NO-ONE else even slightly curious as to how you can accidentally or otherwise dye your child blue??!

Don't use bubble bath when running you wife a romantic bath in the posh hotel jacuzzi bath. She will not feel particulary romantic after you have both spent an hour trying to clean up an entire bathroom full of bubbles.

If someone leaves there mobile at your house please don't text them to let them know, it's not helpful I was pregnant at the time

their not there

Remember to get the meat for lunch out of the freezer the night before you want it. It helps

When using your juicer to lovingly make nice fresh homemade juice for your family it is very helpful if you insert the jug under the spout to catch the juice exploding out the other end! Your kitchen counters walls/floor will be all the better for it:o

If your DH orders himself his Christmas present 2 months early, do not take it away from him so he can't play with it before the Big Day and put it Somewhere Safe. If you do, you will spend the next few days trying (but failing) to find that very same Somewhere Safe.

Brilliant thread.

Make sure child is not during on your lap/ hip before panicking that you have lost him at rhyme time...