My tip of the day for you all.

[MissStrawberry]

You can thank me later.

When you want to get out of the car, it is always sensible, and useful, to take your seat belt off first.

You're welcome .

Never buy chicken livers and leave them in the boiling hot car in the sun for 3 hours before making pate with them (thanks for the food poisoning DP)...

A little bird has reminded me of one

If you happen to somewhat irreversibly stain your child blue

Do not, under any circumstances, ask Mnet for help and advice on how to undo it. Don't post a photo either.

The result will be a highly entertained child that is slightly sticky form all the oil, sugar swarfega, 19 different soaps, 15 different creams and numerous other substances they have suggested. The child will still be blue. The Mnetters will point and laugh.

Just don't do it.

Also. Babies and Immac. They don't mix.

HoneyD

and they will always remind you and each other of SmurfChild!

(you are a good sport! )

I think I am prouder of creating this thread than I am of my children ].

You cannot pick up the cup of coffee on your desk by moving your mouse-pointer off the edge of the monitor screen and clicking on it.

Really concentrate when unpacking your shopping.
Losing the mince for the spaghetti bolognaise and finding it 4 days later in the shoe rack isn't helpful.

Ah Honeydragon - I've done that with the car. Stopped by car at the shops on the way home, walked home - then later freaked out thinking the car has been stolen.

MissStrawberry

you can be even prouder as it is now in Classics!
Congratulations!

another one from this morning:

when your 3-year-old moans about being cold don't offer him to snuggle with you under the blanket.
what a stupid suggestion!

he'll only be upset because you didn't
mind-read that he wanted a hat!

HoneyDragon I went on your profile to see the blue child and was v disappointed to find no evidence !

If you are sitting on a folding chair, then it is important not to push back while sitting on it. You will end up on your arse.
This is especially important to remember when talking to a customer with your executive management standing behind you.

It is especially important to pay attention to what rental car you have been given, and where you have parked in a multistorey car park. Otherwise you spend an hour walking round blipping hopefully (I had only arrived in Australia the night before in my defence)

When text-gossiping about someone to a friend, make sure you add the name of your friend in the address field and not the the person you're gossiping about.

When Directory Enquiries ask you "which name please?" they don't mean your own...

And they don't mean Mummy either.....

When you are using a keyboard, double tapping the space bar doesn't give you a full stop like it does on an iPhone.

Don't write ranty rude emails with someone's address in the To: box unless you like the sick feeling you get in your stomach when you realise you've accidentally sent (instead if deleted) said email...

You don't need to dial 9 to get an outside line from home.

When face painting, don't (repeatedly) dip the brushes into your drink and whatever you do, don't take a large sip from the mucky water. Children will laugh at you.

Or maybe just don't drink wine when you're face painting.
:)

If going out in a PVA catsuit, always apply lots of talc to your body before getting said catsuit on, otherwise when you go for a pee in the club's loos the catsuit will not pull up above your knees due to sweat

If you're in a public toilet and find there's no toilet roll left, those olbas oil tissues you have in your bag do NOT make a suitable alternative.

your pc doesn't do predictive text nor does it autocorrect.
also it's deaf, so don't bother swearing/shouting at it!

don't name your twins Sam and Ella (Salmonella)

Polly Esther is not a very fortunate name either.

When you have just about finished wallpapering the bedroom and only have the awkward bit around the window to finish, don't grab the nearest thing to stand on. It might just be the empty goldfish tank, and even if you think the corner bit will be fine, it might not take your weight very well.

And the resultant blood spray from the severed Achilles might possibly make a fabulous pattern across the new wallpaper, requiring the whole room to be redone.

After the week- long stay in hospital, of course.

And when Picasso is described as a Cubist Artist, don't remark, in front of all of your colleagues, that you didn't realise he came from Cuba.

When there is a bullet stuck in the barrel of a nerf gun DO NOT look down barrel while pulling trigger.

In hindsight I'm pretty sure I knew this already.

If you do happen to dye your child blue then taking them swimming will successfully bleach them. But you will get some odd looks for the first 15 minutes until the chlorine takes effect.

Always check your face in the mirror on leaving the house, you might have snot, food or a random swipe of something that you don't know what it is or how it got there.