My tip of the day for you all.

[MissStrawberry]

You can thank me later.

When you want to get out of the car, it is always sensible, and useful, to take your seat belt off first.

You're welcome .

Don't stick your finger in a battery operated pencil sharpener.

When offering to fill up dp's car with petrol.....remember to drive his car to the petrol station, not your own

Don't put £70 of diesel into a unleaded petrol tank. Not only does it make quite a spectacular explosion, it makes the recovery lorry men roll their eyes and tell you that only women do that.

If you have to bribe reluctant teenagers up a steep mountain with the promise of chocolate cake at the top while on holiday, make sure that someone has put the chocolate cake in a rucksack before you set off. Happier teenagers that way (apparently).

"This should go to classics. It has to doesn't it?!"

I have never had a thread go in classics before.

Do not substitute the mirror for a bottle of wine when plucking your eyebrows.

Unless you have a very long fringe.

If you are getting low on petrol, and the needle is going below the lowest mark on the gauge, do not keep passing petrol stations in the belief that the petrol light will come on when the tank gets really REALLY low.

The kind rescue van man will have to tell you that not all cars have petrol lights, so you didn't 'break down' so much as 'run out of petrol'.

On the dual carriageway. At 8 months pregnant.

When driving do not pull over because you can' t think where your keys are and need to turn your bag inside out. They will be in the ignition.

From a friend:

If you kindly offer to cut down a tree which has got too big for your neighbour's garden, double check before you start that you have the right tree. That sort of mistake can take about 50 years to put right.

Putting the wrong fuel in a car seems to be quite popular

Middle Age my DH and my DB have both put petrol into diesel tanks, not a woman in sight. DH did it first and DB was saying what an idiot then did it two weeks later

When going to the gym, remember to take your trainers.

When you put dead wildlife or dead livestock in the boot of your vehicle, make sure it really is dead first, just because it is not breathing and cold, does not mean it will not come back to life and surprise you when driving.

When drunk do not mistake your Anti freeze for your contact lense solution, while fumbling round in your dark barrack block room while trying not to wake up your room mate! She will only feel bad for you in the morning after she had stopped laughing and called the medic block. My room mate was, most of the time, a very capable and intelligent woman!

If you are a police officer, and have been called out on a cold, icy morning because a lorry has skidded into a telegraph pole, it's best to approach the scene slowly and carefully. Rather than, say, taking a corner at full speed, with sirens blazing, and sliding uncontrollably into the back of your colleague's car.

(Not me!)

No matter how tired you are, it's not a good idea to place your half empty tub of ice cream into the fridge.

Even if your first labour lasted days, you shouldn't assume that your second will. Being stuck in rush hour traffic while experiencing an overwhelming urge to push is not much fun.

Don't ever turn your back on a toddler who has access to paint- even if they're in the garden and you think they can't cause too much trouble.

Do check the date on party invites before you text replying with a yes please, or sorry we can't, as the response might just be "the party was last week."

When you live in the middle of the woods and you take your well trained dogs out for off-the-lead walks all the time, do actually remember to let them out of the house with you, or you might spend nearly an hour running around screaming their names, only to discover them at home in desperate need of being let out.

Don't scream at the block of cheese you have been trying to turn the tv over with, it's not it's fault.

Don't epilate your fanny flaps

Don't assume your autistic son will realise that that greeny-brown sludgy looking patch of ground isn't suitable to walk on, just because everyone else has walked around it.

Not unless you want the rest of your family to have to wade into the stinky cow pat mud (involving the loss of several wellies) to rescue him.

At least you'll have ages to savour the smell in the car on the 30 mile trip home.

Giddystars Thought that was just me with the batiste and deodorant. Still at least any stray underarm hairs will be 'lifted and refreshed from the root'

Don't have a rare friday cleaning afternoon and collect all DD's hair slides strewn around the house by putting them in your own hair for safe-keeping. You will forget they are there and get some strange looks on the school run until your friend says "Erm do you know you've got DD's clips in?"

at mrspolkadotty.

no point trying to open your front door by pressing "unlock" on your car key, the success rate is 0%.

and it won't magically work despite cursing or trying it repeatedly and/or several days in a row.

Don't get confused about which method of transport you are taking to work and get in your car with your bike helmet on. It doesn't help and you keep banging your head. that would be you Mother

if you run out of clean knickers it is ok to go commando, who will know?

It is not possible to open your front door by swiping your work pass against the lock is it DH?

When you step into a lovely, hot shower and notice that the bar of soap has all gone and you can't be bothered to get out, DON'T use instead your DH's 'Irish Spring' body wash that contains (unbeknownst to you), EUCALYPTUS.

When getting the slow cooker down from the top shelf you can only just reach, try taking the lid off first as it may slip off, hit you on the head and cause minor concussion.

WD40 will not remove ice from your windscreen but will make the rain just slide off

Your electronic access fob for work will not unlock your front house door.

:) x post JadziaSnax!!