My tip of the day for you all.

[MissStrawberry]

You can thank me later.

When you want to get out of the car, it is always sensible, and useful, to take your seat belt off first.

You're welcome .

[pushmepullyou]

Check yourself in a full length mirror before spending the morning interviewing. Otherwise you may look down at lunchtime and find you have a toddlers's breakfast Cheerio stuck to your jumper precisely over your nipple

[BimboJimbo]

When straining your gravy if you have lumps, always remember to put a saucepan underneath.
If not you will lose all your gravy to the plug hole and be left with just lumps!
Defiantly not good to do when you have ran out of gravy. You will have a dry roast dinner

[stollibolli]

When wallpapering always paste the paper not the paste table Dh.


If you are in the bath and hear what sounds like scraping noises don't get out to look. The window cleaner will be shocked to see you naked.

[stollibolli]

Also when hanging you dry suit up to dry in the garage insure someone (window cleaner) can't just see the dangling legs and think you've committed suicide.

[MimsyBorogroves]

Check you're pouring milk, not orange juice, upon the last bowl of shreddies in the house.

Would save a lot of tears.

[NachoAddict]

Don't think it would be a good game to lean your toddler back while holding them and then flip them back up again. You will get black eyes.

do not assume that you can leave the house without breast pads in the early days of breast feeding. We boob patches are not a good look.

[ZingWantsCake]

when I'm grumpy don't argue with me

[EBearhug]

Also when hanging you dry suit up to dry in the garage insure someone (window cleaner) can't just see the dangling legs and think you've committed suicide.

That reminds me - remember that one of the people who shares your house is into scuba diving, not murdering people. That's a wetsuit hanging there when you go to get your bike from the shed, not a dead body.

[ZingWantsCake]

Ocxam's Razor (modified) : if it looks like a frog and it jumps like a frog it is probably a frog.

screaming at it is not going to stop it from being a frog (yes, I'm looking at you Mother)

[ZingWantsCake]

Occam's Razor

[Fairypants]

You are advised to visually ascertain that you have successfully replaced slippers with shoes before leaving the house.

Always check that you are putting on your own trousers I stead of your wife's - she will not let you forget it

If told by a medical professional to go immediately to hospital due to excessive blood loss, you should not drive yourself- even if you are alone and don't want to make a fuss. If you don't have an accident, it will be luck and you DH will not appreciate scribbling blood out of your cream car seat

[lostinindia]

Do not keep eye make up remover and nail varnish remover next to each other in the bathroom cabinet. Not unless you like to temporally blind yourself on a morning.

[lostinindia]

If you need to shave your legs in a hurry don't lather in baby oil and shave with a razor. It really really stings for some time later.

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

If going out in a PVA catsuit

Well that's never going to happen but thanks for the tip!
far too old and fat

[TodaysAGoodDay]

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Whilst attempting to rejuvenate and freshen your non-turn, memory foam topped mattress by liberally applying vast quantities of steam do not then lay across the part you've just steamed to reach the other side, it will still be steaming hot [ouch]

[2kidsintow]

Don't put a pan of potatoes on to boil, then leave the house to go to toddlers.

And don't do the same again the next week.

And don't run cold water into the amazingly hot pan when you return - the bottom of the saucepan WILL just drop off.

Oops.

[ZingWantsCake]

when you change tampons remember it is vital to take one out and PUT ONE IN!
no use remembering step 2 when you are nearly at the school gates and it takes 25 mins to walk home.

when you have your period ALWAYS wear black trousers - just in case you forgot to do step 2!

[helzapoppin2]

Although only half awake, don't put cat food in the teapot.

[BendyBusBuggy]

Don't use straight bleach to clean the ceiling right above the head, the sound of the drop hitting your eye will resonate through your whole head and then you'll spend hours having your eye rinsed by a friendly nurse while you feel like an idiot and you'll spend further hours driving to Moorfield's to get the damage checked and weeks putting different sorts of eye drops in.

[ZingWantsCake]

don't use a penis beaker.
if you do don't tell us. It's disgusting, but unfortunately unforgettable

[ZingWantsCake]

also if you start a thread about using a penis beaker be prepared that it might be picked up by say the Telegraph and also all over the Internet.

just saying

[Antsmummy]

this thread has mad me cry!!
if you are driving an automatic for the first time, stop for fuel and then find the car wont start again, dont ring dh in a panic saying the car is broken, he will only laugh like a drain and tell you to put it in Park and then try starting it. He will then spend the next few years reminding you at every occasion.....

[BeCool]

Dish washing liquid is neither a suitable substitute for a dishwasher tab OR clothes wash. It is for hand washing dishes and stain removal only.
Unless you want to turn your kitchen/laundry into a bubble pit that is. In which case add washing up liquid to either dishwasher or washing machine to create a bubble filled room of slippery fun.

Long hair is an awkward addition to a cake. If you must add hair to your cake, best to mix it in slowly by hand at the end and not while using a cake mixer at speed.

[BeCool]

When wiping your bottom, be sure to put the paper down the loo afterwards. Do not not not ever never ever get it caught up in the back of your knickers so it trails behind you as you go about your day.

It will freak your colleagues out.