Anyone who remembers MarmaladeTwatkins' PTA cake sale/Lemon Drizzle arse of a woman come here please

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

She has just sent out a group email to 100 parents/the head, of the last AGM minutes. Then obviously wanted to bitch to one other PTA mum about THE HEAD but... has copied in the 100 parents... AND THE HEAD.

My life is complete. I am practically purring in pleasure. Cannot WAIT for this afternoon in the playground.

Shamelessly marking place

I think she has to move her children to a new school. And grow a beard. AND fake her own death.

Wonderful thread though

Fuck Shop is brilliant!

Dyking it up, not so much.

I'm going to be refreshing this thread tomorrow morning, but I think either her DH will be doing the school run or her DC will be off sick.

In honour of LDCgate, I'm listening to Smash It Up by the Damned.

(Actually, I put the album on because that fucking NOT SO New song by Macca had got stuck on an overly cheerful cycle in my head and it Had To Go)

I find this particularly well timed as I've been pushing for a PTA meeting for ooh ages and today's HT's newsletter informs me it's next week on a school night and I just have to hope/pray I can go otherwise the Extremely Urgent Thing I need to get approved won't be and we'll lose out on possibly a hundred pounds.

Or, in old money, two and a half cake sales.

Anyway, I'm feeling far more chilled. At least our PTA aren't idiotic enough to send out abusive and borderline illegally discriminatory messages to half the school.

Marmalade, you do realise this thread is going to hit 1000 while we're all just waiting for your update from Vera. You better time it right and catch her tomorrow, don't let us down!

Shameless marking of place for update

I wonder if she knows yet???

Is the head likely to have a sense of humour failure over this or will she take it on the chin?

Blatantly marking my place - can't wait to see how this one pans out. This is pure gold!!

Oh my god I've just caught the update Absolutely epic.

I'm cringing for LDC not really

Oops sorry.

Anyone else notice that, according to the hand MN moon watch, it is a full moon today? Perhaps LDC will plead good old-fashioned lunacy and get herself locked up in a suitable institution. Then everyone can go and visit her in her padded cell and bring her cornflake cakes!

Is this 'Punch Her Lemon Drizzle Cake" Vera?

That full moon will be handy. I bet Marm's already in position, loitering behind a privet hedge so she can just oh-so-casually pop out from behind it as Vera passes tomorrow.

Fancy bumping into you here! How are you feeling?

Ohmygod I felt a bit sick reading that email. It's like a suburban horror. She needs to employ some shit hot PR crisis team who can release an apology and claim she was jet lagged and on medication and her one teeny glass of wine sent her nuts.

There's just no recovery from that.

It'd be funny if she tried her standby excuse "I was just being sarcastic, ha ha!" again.

The head must surely realise which people LDC intended to send it to. You know, the ones who aren't interlopers.

I would honestly move house and change the kids' school. There is no way of styling this out. No way, no how.

Imagine that feeling she got, as she almost-simultaneously hit 'send' and realised what she'd done.

It is as delicious as her scrambled-egg lemon drizzle wasn't.

Hec you're thinking exactly what I'm thinking.

It's one thing for LDC to think those things, (I mean dyking it up for crying out loud) but why is she so comfortable sharing those thoughts with her 'mates'.

They've been having a right cosy time slagging everyone off haven't they. You watch those 'mates' drop her like a hot brick now. They're going to throw her bitchy arse to the wolves without a backward glance.

I must, must, must know whether LDC puts in an appearance tomorrow! This is better than the Archers - an everyday story of PTA folk. Who knew? Certainly not me, never having been within a barge pole's length of a PTA!

Dh says she has to move house and school.

Oh, this thread is delightful. The idea of a "crisis meeting" in the playground shelter at pick-up time is just excellent.

Un-fucking-believable!!!

I'm on a transatlantic flight tomorrow so man alive, I hope there's an update when I get home!!!

I fuckin luffs karma x

Wow. She sounds like a real piece of work. People like her always seem to slither their way out of even the most awkward situations, I really hope she gets what she deserves. Looking forward to tomorrow's update!